Since we are on the road so to speak

Love that

'Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.'

Works both ways






Teach Your Children

( Crosby, Stills and Nash )

You, who are on the road,
Must have a code that you can live by.
And so, become yourself,
Because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by.
And feed them on your dreams,
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by.
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by.
And feed them on your dreams,
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.......

http://www.yash.ca/parenting/teenage_choices.php?subid=2

DILEMMAS IN THE FIRST DOUBLE DIGIT GRADE.
IS THIS JUST A START?


By Milena Marques-Zachariah
December 31st, 2007

If you happen to see teenagers at school walking around with a deep furrow between their brows, chances are, they are in grade 10. The worried look is genuine and justified. Now's about the time when they come to a major crossroads in their lives: choosing subjects for grades 11 and 12; preparing the ground for university. As any 10 grader will tell anybody who cares to listen, that's no mean task. Because a sizeable number of students have no idea what to do! The reason why kids are left sitting on the fence are many. Making that all important call could be difficult because of the multiple options available. Or because they like many of the subjects, or hate them all. It could also be that some teachers are known to be more 'easy going' than others, and this dictates their choice, rather than the subject.

More importantly, it could be as simple and basic as our girls and boys have no idea, or given little thought to, the profession they wish to pursue.

Every afternoon I drive two chatty, very animated 10 graders home from school. There is no dearth of subjects that can drive them to a frenzied conversation: the hair styles of boys in their class, the 'mean' math teacher, field hockey, Jessica Simpson. But mention the most important subject of all - the choice of subjects for the next two years, and the conversation loses steam and a feeling of discomfort settles on the seats between these animated teenagers. I persist and crank them back into the conversation. In tones lacking the usual conviction, I am informed that if they take chemistry, then all those formulas are going to be one tough act. Math? No way. Biology? There's too much of labeling and studying to do. Too many diagrams to draw and too little time to doodle. History? What use is it to study about people dead and gone? And those dates? Those dates are killing. They have found out that history has too many assignments and the teacher is tough! "So what subjects are you girls left with?" I ask intrigued. I am met with silence and shrugs. One of them is my 15 year old daughter, and both are in the tough and challenging IB programme.

What plagues these kids I wonder. In an essay assigned to me in grade 8 about what I would want to do in the future. 'Writer' is what I had stated with no hesitation. A quick check with friends my age reveals that most of them had some idea of what profession they were going to pursue. Was it simpler for us because the choice was limited? Or was it easier for us because our parents would make life difficult for us if we dithered? Were we less unsure because we were more focused? Or did we simply belong to a generation
that did not belief in procrastination?

Why has choosing subjects for high become such an issue today? Why is it such a dilemma?

My short stint of teaching in elementary school was quite an eye opener. I asked many of my students what their plans were for the future. Many of them admitted that what they wanted to be clashed with their parents dreams for them. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be doctors and engineers. One precocious kid told me that her parents wanted her to become a doctor because that would give them bragging rights. She may be right. We South Asians do like MBBS or BE. Eng. attached to the names of our children And many of our children are in a state of confusion because of the demands we make of them. I will never forget a child in grade 7 who told me that her father barely talked to her. Why? Because he felt he had invested a lot in her tuitions and guidance for the gifted programme and she had let him down. She was an excellent student, who had not made the cut. I wish I could have told this overly ambitious father that the word 'gifted' means something that is inherent and not acquired. Parents have to learn that everything does not come with a price attached!

However, the fact remains that often times, our youth want to take the easy way to success. They don't seem to get it that there's no easy path to getting what they want. The first pre-requisite of getting where they want to go is to knowing how to get there. Worldly knowledge can only radiate from self- knowledge. Being able to make an informed choice is crucial to this journey. And informed, they most certainly are. There are Guidance Counselors who take the time to talk to them and guide them. There is the internet, which provides them with information at the click of a button. And, there are teachers. They always know the strengths and weaknesses of their students and can always help in recommending what's best for them. It's up to the students and parents to pay more heed to the advice.

And if all else fails, children should consider talking to their parents. Most parents will welcome he opportunity to discuss school issues with their teenagers. Except that sometimes our children are of the view that parents belong to another age. I recently heard a friend's son tell his mother that her views are so antiquated, she should consider going back to India! I wonder if he is keeping abreast of the giant steps India has taken in virtually every field. Obviously, some teenagers refuse to look East of the Suez!

When I attended University, we had the great Divide: Arts/Science/Commerce. If you were the math and Science kind, you headed for the latter two. If you thought with the right side of your brain, you opted for arts. Here, in Canada, our kids are luckier. They can choose Arts, Science or Liberal Arts - where they can combine the left and right sides of the brain. Students can combine History and math, Biology and Business or Music and Chemistry. Which means, at the end of grade 12, they can opt for a broader base in education, instead of getting button-holed in one area. How fascinating!,

Are our kids aware of all this? Of course, they are! Yet, there is confusion and consternation on their faces - not to mention diffidence. Sadly, many don't make the right choice and live to regret it. Because once the choice is made, it's cast in stone. Perhaps our kids should spend a little more time deciding their choice of subjects instead of chatting on Facebook or MSN!

I am sure when we tell them this, the answer will be: Oh come on already, I know what I am doing.Sometimes, I wish we could answer them with their stock answer, "Well, whatever!"

Any student coming from a non-English speaking country and not born in Canada are put in ESL. The teachers get this kids easily because the school board receives extra funding for four years (st least) for an ESL/ELL kid versus a local kid.

May local kid speak very bad English; however, they are rarely put in the ESL program.

Will the kids benefit from the schooling in India on their return to Canada? My opinion of bringing the kids to Canada is to give them freedom to be what they want, Indian schooling is designed to produce engineers and doctors. In Canada, a doctor or engineer might earn more money but they do not get preferential treatment and their kids also go to the public school unlike India, where they are traded as a blue chip.

I have seen kids confused about choice they have to make, even those who are clear don't have courage to tell their parents. That we construe as being obedience, but at what cost? That is were good parenting comes into play, let the kid learn from their mistake and be there for them. Canadian system is forgiving, you can decide to become engineer or doctor even after you fail in doing something which is unlike India.

Rest, it is the parents call. Personally, I would prefer at least one of the parent be with kid whether the kids are in India or Canada.

Please check this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persi_Diaconis.