Hey Yaar there !

Bhaat man, no nooj fram you far laang time ? Bhaat matter eej ? Hab you phorgotten me ? Myself, Deepak Khanna from IIT Kanpur. Same Kolaje, same nolaje, yaar. Hee hee.

Arre bhai, yesterday I go restaurant and they ask, bhaat bhil you hab ? Cadberry ? Papsee ? Or one bottle ‘Thunderbolt’, one 'baees ka pauwa' and one lag pis ? Or bhil it be straight 'chempen' ? Talking of alcohol, do you know there are three kinds of ‘beer’ in India ? One you drink. One you sleep with (called 'taddy beer' - you hug it). And one you having nothing to do with, since you cannot 'beer' it.

Coming back to good old Punjaaaaab, everything is 'fitta-fit', thank you. “The loins of Bhatinda Welcome You” says a roadside sign. The greatest of their loins, Ajit (of the 'Tawny','Raabert' and 'Mona Darrrling' fame) inaugurated the “Groin Young Loins”(mathlab small lion) Club just the other day.

The Bengalis like to 'shit outside' in the cool 'bridge'. Of course, it is impossible to cross the Howrah 'breeze' these days, especially during the 'crush' hour, when your clothes in the crowded buses get 'crust'.

Bengalis do not have 's' sound and Oriyas do not have 'sh'. So when Bengalis sing “God Shave the Queen”, Oriyas shout 'Same, same'.

Delhi 'sacooter taxi vallas' will say 'Woh Susu ki' referring to Maruti Suzuki.

And a Delhi teenager might ask a restaurant waiter to 'rape the snakes' (wrap the snacks) and 'snakes' could be anything from 'peeza' to 'baig-dish' (baked dish) to 'senwich' or a plain 'aam-late'. And the waiter asks 'Do you want them raped separate, separate or raped together ?'

Which all amounts to BJP. No, not the Bharatiya Janata Party, but 'Bada Jollu Party' of Tamil Nadu (this acronym refers to a 'lecher') with its 'jalrafying' tendencies. Ready-aaa ? In Tamil Nadu, 'somebody else' becomes 'somebody yells' and villages become 'vill-yaaje' and marriage, 'marr-yaaaje' and people vacation in 'Gova' and 'Lenden'. And not to forget that bakery called “Standard Confessionary” (sic) in Madras who are the 'biggest loafers in town'. And Madras folks are also concerned about others’ opinions and wonder “What will four people think, saaar?”

Which brings us to my native land, Rajasthan. One English tutor was heard telling his pupil that 'pittal' is 'braas'. And also that 'Mooli' is 'carrot'. The mother of the student overheard and came in and asked “Isn't Mooli radish?” To which the embarrassed teacher replied “Yes, yes, Mooli is sometimes reddish and sometimes whitish.”

And two IIT Kanpur professors were bickering about regional accents. When one Bihari professor got up to make a speech "Bhy bharchu of the authority bheshted in me ....", he was interrupted by his Malayali colleague, (A Malayali colleague = Malayaleague) who commented "What atrocious yaaccent !" Stung, the Bihari retorted. "Bhat bhil you shay?" "Why, I would say it 'praaperly' " said the Malayali "Like 'By wertu yof the yatarity wasted in me...."

I am not knowing if you are doing the understanding ?

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Diogenes
====================
The Cynic