Marriages between Indians from India and Desis settled here in Canada

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jake3d
Member since: Sep 03

Posts: 2962
Location: Montreal
Post ID: #PID

Posted on: 12-03-04 10:50:30

Quote:
Orginally posted by Ottawa_Nerd

BL, let me rephrase my statement

\" Is the Canadian Society well suited for a child having parents from India and having Indian attitudes, customs and traditions\" ? I know this is a cliched question but I am not comparing you to Amrish Puri in DDLJ or Pardes

I agree with BL...maybe you have to rethink the Question? Here are my reasons for saying so:
1)Indian attitude: what is that? each one on this board has their own attitude to life and situations. Can you tell which one of us has an Indian Attitude inspite of the fact that all are Indian. Even if you go to India which Indian would you say has an 'Indian Attitude'
2) Indian Customs: If both parents are Indians and follow Indian customs(of course there are limitations in an alien land) dont you think the child will learn about the same?
3) Traditions: same as # 2. Customs and traditions are after all not something that you are born with, rather these are dictated by your family environment right?. That is why even in mumbai, malyalee families like mine, used to celebrate Onam annually even though the families have been in Bombay for 30+ years. Also note that my family (and the others we used to gather with) are all devout catholics, celebrating a hindu festival . If something is important to you, work hard to preserve/promote it. Does not matter where you are.

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Ottawa_Nerd
Member since: Jan 04

Posts: 1754
Location: Ottawa (Now in Bangalore)
Post ID: #PID

Posted on: 12-03-04 19:02:39

Samira to answer your question, I have heard abt them and before someone calls me that.. I hope to be long gone from this place (even though I may get my citizenship here..)

Jake3d.. I never did mention anything abt observing customs. I specifically stated abt "rasing ur kids" in a Canadian society. Let me explain what I mean.
If you were in Bombay you can imagine what kinda life you led when you were a child, esp the schooling that you got. I am not comparing the schools in Canada and in India..but rather I am comparing the content taught in Schools..I dont think they teach any useful information here abt India/ Indian customs in schools here. So much so even History lessons that are taught here are quite different from what is taught in India.
You urself said that as Catholics you celebrated Onam (ende Kerelam ) .. And now that you mentioned it I am missing those banana chips ! Do you get a chance to celebrate Onam with that fervour here ?
Will your children get a chance to celebrate Onam with that fervour if one of the spouses happens to be a "CBCD" as Samira has pointed out ?
I really find it strange when young kids here quite naively utter these words "I love my India"..and I just ask them, have you ever been to India and they , not surprisingly, reply in the negative !
If thats what is Indian attitude then I must say I am not amused by it. True attitudes in India have changed over the last decade..They still try to ape the west in many aspects.. But even then, some hardcore fundamental values (depends on which part of India you are from) still remain...
As I mentioned earlier, I did meet some "CBCD" gals here... sadly our tastes never matched (but they were quite cute gals..)..Heck how can I spend time with someone who doesnt know Md. Rafi/ Mukesh / Kishore Kumar
Hope I have "re-examined" my question will be awaiting your response/s

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jake3d
Member since: Sep 03

Posts: 2962
Location: Montreal
Post ID: #PID

Posted on: 12-03-04 19:39:40

Ottawa_nerd,
thanks for the clarifications, yes history and other subjects will have to be taught by the parents. However, you have to realise that these kids are ultimately more Canadian than Indian. If you want an Indian education for your kids India is obviously the best place to be in.
'Onam' itself can never be celebrated with the same fervour in bombay as in kerala, but fervour is not the important part. Celebrating and remembering ones roots are, dont you think so?
My kids dont say they love India. My daughter is proud of the fact that she has Indian roots. She loves to hear the mythology, wear Indian clothes etc. However, I always tell her that she is Canadian. I would think that her focus should be on learning Canadian history more than Indian history. Just like I had to learn Marathi and about chatrapatti shivaji instead of Malayalam. Hopefully the seeds of India that I sow will ignite a bigger need to know about it later on. I was not confused about being of keralite origin in maharashra.
I am not sure of the hard-core fundamental values, can you give me an example?
Md.rafi etc is a personal choice and you alone know what is best for you. One of my good friends(also a keralite) married a girl born and rised in Canada of punjabi origin. They are doing very well together. It worked for him, may not do so for you. Arranged or love marriage, desi or not, different strokes for different folks.

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isomet10
Member since: Dec 03

Posts: 36
Location:
Post ID: #PID

Posted on: 14-03-04 12:48:50

Well, in response to the original post..I've found that Indian here (either Canadian born or born elsewhere) are more in touch with their Indian roots and at the same time integrated into the society here. They're in touch with bollywood films and enjoy watching them even more so than I do..I was born in India but raised outside and TO is the fourth place I'm residing in. I've met and dated girls from both background (and I've only been here for a couple of months) so am telling this from personal experience. Others' experiences might differ. In the UK, the situtation is similar to Canada.

In comparison, the situation in the US is very different. There I found the US born Indian to be very segregated from the society (though they have their own identity) and the Indians studying there on student visa have as their goal to lure a US citizen so that they can get to settle there. In comparison the situation is much better here, because an educated person, should he/she decide to stay here, can apply for the PR by themselves and therefore. My point being, Ottawa Nerd, you're lucky to be here where you can date/marry one of either background, with whomever you click because the immigration situation here is not that bad. Whereas in the US, it will be virtually impossible for a non-US citizen to date someone of the same background (ie a student on visa).

Ottawa_Nerd
Member since: Jan 04

Posts: 1754
Location: Ottawa (Now in Bangalore)
Post ID: #PID

Posted on: 15-03-04 12:28:44

isomet ..totally agree with you !

Would advise any desi willing to "marry/date" someone for their Visa to Canada, please avoid it at all costs !...

You will end up with that "dependency" burden.

Isomet, can you share with us some of ur experiences (examples i mean), as to what gals ( & guys) born here, like ?... No names of cos.. You can relate it with ur life

Cheerz

samira
Member since: Feb 04

Posts: 35
Location:
Post ID: #PID

Posted on: 16-03-04 09:01:57

Ottawa_Nerd,
u won't be called a CBCD unless you were born here and you're totally confused about your culture

Ottawa_Nerd
Member since: Jan 04

Posts: 1754
Location: Ottawa (Now in Bangalore)
Post ID: #PID

Posted on: 16-03-04 11:03:02

Agreed Samira, I was on the verge of being confused !.. Luckily I have had a change of heart and thats helped me to go back to my roots (i.e India..) can't wait for my studies to finish !
I miss all those gatherings, food, ppl, (esp gals in salwaar-kameez and those nice Bindi's). Unfortunately folks back home are becomining more confused than me ..call that the ill effects of consumerism !..BUt its a cycle..a fad..once thats over..ppl will come back

Contributors: Ottawa_Nerd(6) samira(3) BlueLobster(2) jake3d(2) isomet10(1) ani70(1)

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