I am an Indian now Canadian citizen lady with 2 kids in my 40s. I have been married for 14 years and have suffered the domestic violence, but kept quite thinking that hubby will improve. I am graduate but he forced me to stay at home, never allowed me to work in Canada.
But recently I got fed with his abuse and called the 911, now he is out on bail and staying at the friend's house. His attitude is still the same-adamant that I am the one who provokes him to raise hand on me ! Any suggestions, what should I do ? My heart says that he can go to any extent when he is angry. He can not control his anger. I really fear for my safety and future.

What are my available options ?

U can file for restraining order if you feel threatened......i have personal experience and have gone thru this.

Hi!
It is your choice.
You can either go back and reconcile with your husband and try to change him / get abused by him or you can live by yourself.
You could try to reconcile with your husband , if he is willing In this case, he has to take anger management classes and go through a mariage councellor. Currently Is your husband on a court order, ordering him that he should not make any further contact with you/ distance himself from you (Restraining order)? if not, you could file for the court order to keep you safe from your husband.
On the other hand, you could prefer to live as a single mother (by being either divorced or legally seperated from your husband. In this case actually the Govt. of Canada gives a lot of benefit to being a single mother and you will get generous (subjective) grants and subsidies from the government. The last time I knew, single mothers with 2 children got $1067 a month + GST/PST Credit + generous child tax benefits+ free daycare. This would enable you to reflect on your situation and make a suitable choice for the future.You may also get preference in govt. Subsidized housing. A lot of Somali women in Ontario are living this way.
Your husband could put a case in court for the partial custody of the children (in any case) and on a best case win from his side., the children would be with him on the weekends and with you on weekdays. Based on his well documented abusive behaviour (if you can prove it), the judge may order that, children may have very restricted access to their father. The court may also impose that your husband pays child care allowance to you for taking care of the children but most fathers end up not paying even a cent and the govt. does not have the resources at hnad to enforce this.
Hence in conclusion, Canada offers a lot of choices and it is up to you to pick a suitable one.
You may also consult with some free legal aid clinics located in many community centres of Ontario.
All the best in your decision.

Peace

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

Here's my sincere two cents:

I would stop asking the people's opinions in public forums right away as this seem to be a fairly sensitive, serious and private matter.

You could solicit the services of an attorney and know your rights and know what you can do to keep you and your two kids out of harms way.

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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank.
If you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
- Bill Maher

Toronto Police service.

http://www.torontopolice.on.ca/communitymobilization/domesticviolence/

Domestic Violence
40 College Street, Toronto, ON , M5G 2J3
Phone: 416-808-7041

http://www.shelternet.ca/splashPage.htm

ShelterNet

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You know you are a desi when ........ You spew forth the virtues of India, but don't want to live there...............You've never had a tanning salon membership

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Originally posted by no more


I am an Indian now Canadian citizen lady with 2 kids in my 40s. I have been married for 14 years and have suffered the domestic violence, but kept quite thinking that hubby will improve. I am graduate but he forced me to stay at home, never allowed me to work in Canada.
But recently I got fed with his abuse and called the 911, now he is out on bail and staying at the friend's house. His attitude is still the same-adamant that I am the one who provokes him to raise hand on me ! Any suggestions, what should I do ? My heart says that he can go to any extent when he is angry. He can not control his anger. I really fear for my safety and future.

What are my available options ?

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Thanks tamilkumaran and others.

Anger management classes- do they work ? or do they take the offender for the mental treatment ? Right now he has court order restraining him. Can hypno-therapy work in this type of cases ?