I'm originally from India and live in Canada. I've noticed that most of the indian & pakistani people here criticize me a *lot* for being a quiet person, even though I talk to them, just not as much as everyone else. It's gotten to the point where I've stopped going to any south asian gatherings.

Whereas the canadian people here all find me quiet but "sweet", "adorable", etc. Why is it just my own people who dislike me so much??

What's wrong with being quiet? I'm not hurting anyone, I talk to people but I can't talk non-stop for hours like some people do.

There is nothing wrong in being a quiet person, but if the quietness arises out of lack of confidence or self esteem then that may be something you have to work on. Are you quiet by nature but exude self confidence when you talk or do you not talk because you are unsure of yourself. If it is the former then do not worry, be yourself but if it is the latter, I would suggest you pick up some self help audio from Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Stephen Schwartz, and listen to them. Also getting counseling may help.

Also it helps to improve your mental toughness in these situations when you question your own behaviour so I would suggest you get some audio tapes which increase your mental toughness so that you are not bothered by what other people think.

I'm just quiet by nature, and I like being that way but it's just these people who make me so uncomfortable by criticizing me all the time.

To take it a little further ..... please introspect whether ...

a. Do these people find you quiet and/or unwanted ? OR

b . You feel , that these people find you quiet and/or unwanted ...

If its the former , change the group ...... If its the latter , change yourself and stop feeling that way .................. There s more to a person then being quiet / introvert / extrovert and one cannot be judged on that basis .... You find heroes in both ....

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Fido.

I think at a social gathering if someone is quiet than its bordering on being rude. I can't imagine e.g. sitting at a restaurant with a friend who would not engage in a conversation.

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Originally posted by her

I'm originally from India and live in Canada. I've noticed that most of the indian & pakistani people here criticize me a *lot* for being a quiet person, even though I talk to them, just not as much as everyone else. It's gotten to the point where I've stopped going to any south asian gatherings.

Whereas the canadian people here all find me quiet but "sweet", "adorable", etc. Why is it just my own people who dislike me so much??

What's wrong with being quiet? I'm not hurting anyone, I talk to people but I can't talk non-stop for hours like some people do.

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~ Morning rain

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Originally posted by morning_rain

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Originally posted by her

I'm originally from India and live in Canada. I've noticed that most of the indian & pakistani people here criticize me a *lot* for being a quiet person, even though I talk to them, just not as much as everyone else. It's gotten to the point where I've stopped going to any south asian gatherings.

Whereas the canadian people here all find me quiet but "sweet", "adorable", etc. Why is it just my own people who dislike me so much??

What's wrong with being quiet? I'm not hurting anyone, I talk to people but I can't talk non-stop for hours like some people do.

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Hi There

My thought is that your quietness unnerves people. They dont know what to make of you and what you are thinking, so to cover their own discomfort, they blame you. Its too bad.

I think its great to be a quiet person, in real life I am a quiet/introverted person too.

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