Julie Andrews Turning 79 - this is hysterical!


To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'. Here are the lyrics she used:



(Sing It!) - If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!!

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
>>>>>>>>>>>>> >
(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd
that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores. Please
share Ms. Andrews' clever wit and humor with others who
would appreciate it.)

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Revenge can be bitter sweet, but if u sit back and watch, KARMA can be pure entertainment.

Husband:
Jab mai tumhe chillata hu tab
tum apna gussa kispe nikalti ho ??
.
Wife:
toilet saaf karke
.
Husband:
Hahahaha ,
bewkoof aurat vo kaise?
.
Wife:
Toilet aapke
toothbrush se saaf
karti hu..

-------
SALMAN :- main jab shirt utaarta hu to ghar k bahar 100 log jama ho jate hai..
.
John :- 1000 log..
.
Hrithik :- 5000 log..
.
.
Sunny Leone :- Ab main kuch bolu?

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Revenge can be bitter sweet, but if u sit back and watch, KARMA can be pure entertainment.

Husband:
Jab mai tumhe chillata hu tab
tum apna gussa kispe nikalti ho ??
.
Wife:
toilet saaf karke
.
Husband:
Hahahaha ,
bewkoof aurat vo kaise?
.
Wife:
Toilet aapke
toothbrush se saaf
karti hu..

-------
SALMAN :- main jab shirt utaarta hu to ghar k bahar 100 log jama ho jate hai..
.
John :- 1000 log..
.
Hrithik :- 5000 log..
.
.
Sunny Leone :- Ab main kuch bolu?

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Revenge can be bitter sweet, but if u sit back and watch, KARMA can be pure entertainment.

A beautiful STORY...

A engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop...
He went to him & said.. "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...So why do I get such a small salary? and u get huge sums....!
The doctor smiled at the mechanic and came close to his ear and said.... "Try the same when the engine is running."

👌👏 classic!

.
Continuation
.Engineer. Revenge
.
.
.
.
.
The Mechanic smiled back came close to doctors ear and said
I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . . . . . . . But can you ???

👌👏 Not only classic but Epic 😂😂👍

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Revenge can be bitter sweet, but if u sit back and watch, KARMA can be pure entertainment.

One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed "We can assume the length is infinite..." and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said..... "I declare myself to be on the outside."

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Revenge can be bitter sweet, but if u sit back and watch, KARMA can be pure entertainment.