Following are some of the answers to 'Frequently Asked Questions' to New Immigrants by Canadians and / or Americans. Hope it'll help you guys


NJOY
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To help the new wave of incoming immigrants / students from India,
here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday:

Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery
skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot.
In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives.
You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....

Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All
the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants.
Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our
house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride
sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see
elephants have an "emissions" problem.....

Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to
encourage ride-sharing schemes.

Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.

Q. How come you speak English so well?
A. You see when the British were ruling India,they employed Indians
as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English.
So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused
their servants' babies with it and since then
all babies born are born speaking English.

Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would
let me go to school.

Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously.
That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.

Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency.
We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why
you see all these thin skinny Indians -- it is is a lot of hard
work.

Q. Indians cannot beef, huh?
A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet.
So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the
population of the country, the government is trying to encourage
everyone to eat human meat.

Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But
it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work
when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing.
That is why things are so inefficient there.

Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the botton of our feet to make it
hard so that we can walk.

Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?
A. I prefer it to coming naked.

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Sanjeev Manocha, MBA
Real Estate Sales Representative
Accredited Buyer Representative (ABR)

Re/Max West Realty Inc, Brokerage
96, Rexdale Blvd., Toronto

Mobile: 416-843-7600
Office: 416-745-2300
http://www.manocharealty.com" rel="nofollow">LINK

ROTFLMAO !!

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"Mah deah, there is much more money to be made in the destruction of civilization than in building it up."

-- Rhett Butler in "Gone with the Wind"

These kind of funny things about India, can be easily heard from people who are still living in their small holes ... lol

O yes, we all have our own elephants. so when we need to party out in the jungle, we dont beg/borrow the elephant of father.

http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/jumping/jumping40.gif" border="0" alt="http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/jumping/jumping40.gif" />

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I once made a mistake, but I was wrong about it.

Quote:

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Orginally posted by mercury6

http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/jumping/jumping40.gif" border="0" alt="http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/jumping/jumping40.gif" />

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Quote:

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Orginally posted by ThinkingOne

oh now, i see, u got this gif from other site. i thot, u r making existing smileys here on CD jumping ones..

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I once made a mistake, but I was wrong about it.