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Originally posted by bhootnath

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Originally posted by BlueLobster
If someone from a neighbor's family attacked someone in your family, would it be prudent to invite them over for dinner, even though that act likely will have no bearing on future attacks? The snub is largely symbolic but necessary.

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Although these are two different things..lets talk this in detail..

you live in one of the towhomes that are in row and yours is surrounded by different neighbours and each one separated only by a common wall. Remember you do not have an option to move out anytime for generation after generation....Now this happens that a member from one of the close neighbour attacks your family member..after a while you come to know that the the member that attacked you from that family is aloof in that family and the family head also do not have control over this member. .years passed by no one can stand other one.
Now that neighbour's 3 year old daughter steps into your driveway on invitation from your 3 year old daughter would you stop that..? especially the neighbours duaghter is poor and weak and malnutritioned. would you stop them from exchanging hellos and occassionally play for a few moments under your watch? if you still stop them...for how long? if this daughter does not get to play..next generation would approach..you cannot stop it. What options do you have?
wipe out entire other family?
let neighbour wipe out your family?
you can shoo away the other little kid and scold yours but how is that going to help..the guy who is sitting aloof..the 800 pound gorilla, will still plan differnt ways to attack you. the neighbour does not have control over him, nor do you.
Focus more on your security..put up as much feature as possibly you could because you can afford to..?
you should have cameras that could cover not only your backyard and driveway but theirs as well..keep watch on that guy;s movements..moment he steps one inch outside his area all the flodlights and sirens should start to sound..if he is near your stairs you should be ready with your gun to shoot his legs..if he still knocks on your door, shower him with your assault rifle..
I am not saying YOU need to exchange hellos and be friends with neighbour also not saying your daughter should be close friend of their daughter..You do not have a choice but to calm the situation as much as you could..

India is not inviting anyone for dinner or to take away part of Kashmir or any other piece of land. There was an opportunity to retaliate during Kargil which obviously missed....26/11.event..? nah..that govt itself does not have control over things internally how will they control terrorrists there..they are worried about their a$$ else they will get toasted like Bhuttos.

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let us take your exdample itself .
what if you know that this aloof family member is the one who calls the shot in reality ( others are just showpiece for the world ) ?

now if you know that neighbour is trying to get at you by any means ( yes by even using his 3 yr old daughter ), then what will you do ? what if he poisons your daughter ?

now about the malnourished child sees a chocolate in your daughters hand and wants the complete chocolate even though your daughter shared the chocolate and attacks your daughter. what would you like to do now ?

May be pakistanis want peace but people incharge (ISI ) of pakistan do not want peace ( yesterday there was a documentary on CBC "Secret Pakistan" ) .

if people of pakistan want peace then they have to come together and give real control in the hands of really peace loving people instead of hate mongers ISI .

also people of pakistan can do it if they want, they have already demonstrated it by pushing out musharraf and reinstating justice chaudhary .

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Originally posted by sant

let us take your exdample itself .
what if you know that this aloof family member is the one who calls the shot in reality ( others are just showpiece for the world ) ?

now if you know that neighbour is trying to get at you by any means ( yes by even using his 3 yr old daughter ), then what will you do ? what if he poisons your daughter ?

now about the malnourished child sees a chocolate in your daughters hand and wants the complete chocolate even though your daughter shared the chocolate and attacks your daughter. what would you like to do now ?

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good analogy..so what is the solution? what will "YOU" do in above situation? not for this generation, but generations to come....
Other than making yourself strong and looking suspiciously at each member outside of family, be it friend or foe, not sure what other practicle options you have.

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Originally posted by bhootnath

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Originally posted by sant

let us take your exdample itself .
what if you know that this aloof family member is the one who calls the shot in reality ( others are just showpiece for the world ) ?

now if you know that neighbour is trying to get at you by any means ( yes by even using his 3 yr old daughter ), then what will you do ? what if he poisons your daughter ?

now about the malnourished child sees a chocolate in your daughters hand and wants the complete chocolate even though your daughter shared the chocolate and attacks your daughter. what would you like to do now ?

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good analogy..so what is the solution? what will "YOU" do in above situation? not for this generation, but generations to come....
Other than making yourself strong and looking suspiciously at each member outside of family, be it friend or foe, not sure what other practicle options you have.

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I'll be concerned as long as this aloof member calls the shot or somebody similar replaces him.

as soon as democratically elected WITH BRAINS (not brainwashed) people are in control I'll be happy to deal with them. until it happens no cricket diplomacy ( talks should go on and the situation kept being assessed). basically there should be symbolic gestures to convey the message that we will not tolerate any NONSENSE anymore especially to pakistani common man so that they put the pressure on pakistani authorities to fix their attitude .

actually I used to think until a couple of years ago that I should be nice and other person no matter how nasty he/she is will start behaving nicely but it doesnt happen that way with all the people (majority will reciprocate nicely but there will be one or two who have to be dealt in their own tone and language)
unfortunately pakistan (people in authority) is one such obstinate neighbour which doesnt recognise nicety and warmth for what they are instead treats it as INDIA's weakness ( and remember people on top in ISI keep changing, so even if the one currently having the stick changes his attitude he is replaced by another indoctrinated mad dog)