INSTALLING WIFE 1.0

Subject: Wife 1.0

To: Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that
took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of
this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In
addition, Wife1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5
and Monday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system
whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the
background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,
but the un-install for Wife 1.0 does not work.

Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,



Tech Support Writes Back

Dear Lord Joseph:

This is a very common problem male employees complain
about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many
people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that
Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT
program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you
would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to
Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would
cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files
from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried
to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more
problems than the original system.

Look in your help files under "Warnings-Alimony/Child
Support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with
the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also
suggest you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults(GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might
occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be
to enter the DOS-command

C:\APOLOGIZE or click the I'M SORRY! Icon for Macintosh
systems. In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE/SORRY
command before the operating system will return to normal. The
system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all
the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance
of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.
DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
likely to cause irreversible damage to YOUR hardware.

Best of luck.

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Mumbai Maazi Ladki ...

ek aur meri taraf se....


A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her.


HE WROTE :

Most worthy of your estimation after a long consideration and much mediation, I have a strong indication to become your relation. As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication, that I have passed my matriculation examination (no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation). What do you say to the solemnization of our marriage celebration according to the glorification of modern civilization and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation. On your approbation of the application, I shall make preparation to improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration it will be our argumentation of the joy and exaltation of our joint dissimilation.

Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion; To remain victim of your fascination.


SHE ANSWERED :

Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination,

Congratulation for your lengthy narration of course full of affection aimed at an affiliation for a combination which on examination I find is a fine presentation of your ambition. You have passed your matriculation with little preparation, what about my graduation after a long BOTHERATION, so improve situation in education and make an application by acquisition of post graduation and minimum qualification for the convocation and before taking your photo for circulation, please undergo beautification.

Further strict observation of the following conditions is the regulation for the determination of our relation.
1. Consultation of my parents before approaching for my connection.
2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim of any other fascination and,
3. Procreation must not be your recreation.

In anticipation of a solid action instead of continuation of paper conversation.

I Remain, unaffected by your affection.

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i..........rock........!!!!!

A joke on Palin:

One reporter from mainland USA visited Alaska recently. He went to a shop. Looking a stranger the shopowner asked "New to Alaska?". Reporter said "Yes". The shopowner asked "Seen Russia Yet?"

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A Proud Indian Canadian

The phone bill was exceptionally high and
the man of the house called a family meeting...

On a Saturday morning...
after breakfast...

Dad: People this is unacceptable.
You have to limit the use of the phone.
I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here,
I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too,
I never use the home phone.
I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So - what is the problem?
We all use our work telephones !!!!!

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Chandresh

Advice is free – lessons I charge for!!

few more meri traf se....

got this ones in my email today

=======

A little boy was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.....'
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'
The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.'
'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked
'Yes,' he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you
teaching my son in math?'
The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.'
The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?'
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'

=======

A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play with the boys?'
Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough.'
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked 'If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'

======

A small boy is sent to bed by his father..
Five minutes later.....'Da- ad....'
'What?'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad... ..'
'WHAT?'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
'I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later......' Daaaa-aaaad. ....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'

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i..........rock........!!!!!

WHO SAYS MEN DON'T REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe

and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him

sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee

in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought,

just staring at the wall.

She watches

as he wipes a tear from his eye

and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?"

she whispers as she steps into the room,

"Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee,

"I am just remembering when we first

met 20 years ago and started dating.

You were only 16.

Do you remember back then?" he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that

her husband is so caring, so sensitive.

"Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses.

The words were not coming easily.

"Do you remember when your father

caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember,"

said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues.

"Do you remember when he shoved

the shotgun in my face and said,

"Either you marry my daughter, or

I will send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says....





"I would have gotten out today

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Sanjeev Manocha, MBA
Real Estate Sales Representative
Accredited Buyer Representative (ABR)

Re/Max West Realty Inc, Brokerage
96, Rexdale Blvd., Toronto

Mobile: 416-843-7600
Office: 416-745-2300
http://www.manocharealty.com" rel="nofollow">LINK

One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach the step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.
So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.
So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"
Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."