Enjoy some Husband and Wife Jokes


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vagg   
Member since: Nov 06
Posts: 634
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 11-05-09 14:44:47

These are Really funny

Husband & Wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to
divorce my husband." "But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he
is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied,
"My lord, not a single child resembles him."


Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I
die I want you to marry Samy." "Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know
that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."


Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, "Yes I am, I married
the wrong man."


Husband & Wife - Why?
" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home
that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's
arms. " Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then
coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."


Husband & Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first
married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers
and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's
all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs
around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting
the same service!"


Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband
One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her
husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have
I ever said anything bad about him?"


Husband & Wife - Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door
and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every
time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to." Replied the
husband. "But I don't know her well enough."


Husband & Wife - No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts
shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer
her." One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?" The
man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and
none of them dares to answer back.


Husband & Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home
late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the
neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in
the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that
cured him. "Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbour said,
"You see, his name is Bill."


Husband & Wife - Problem Father
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He replied,
"I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's
wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet



iamhere   
Member since: Feb 08
Posts: 142
Location: GTA

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 11-05-09 15:19:17

Haha...good ones!

One more.....



A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. "I think you're bad luck."


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