See, how people write leave Applications.
It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.

Just Read It.

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."
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This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:


"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."

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Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:


"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave..."
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From H.A.L. Administration Dept:

"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."

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Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"

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An incident of a leave letter:

"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."

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A leave letter to the headmaster:

"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
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Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."
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Covering note:

"I am enclosed herewith..."
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Another one:

"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."
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Actual letter written for application of leave:

"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

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Letter writing:-

"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
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A candidate's job application:

"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'.... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.

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A Proud Indian Canadian

True or not, it is bloody hillarious.

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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank.
If you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
- Bill Maher

Bihar Driving License
---------------------

DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
------------------------------------------ -----------------------

NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen. For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.


1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yours: ___
9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________
Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy
thumb impression also. Please
provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on y our lepht hand only. If you dont have le pht hand, use your
thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht
hand.

NOTE: IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS .
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dumb and Dumber
--------------
After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.

Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.

Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.

Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Bihari professor
--------------
This is a true incident which happened in a college. A new lecturer (also a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy
who was creating most of the problem out. But he doesn't know how to put it in English.
He went near the guy. Shouted "follow me" .The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted
"Don't follow me" and went inside the class..........

#Inside the Class :
----------------
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor
* You, meet me behind the class. ( meaning AFTER the class )..
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today...
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
* Take 5 cm wire of any length....

# About his family :
----------------
* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)

# At the ground :
-------------
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.

# To a boy, angrily :
-----------------
* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ?

# Giving a punishment :
----------
* You, rotate the ground four times...
* You, go and under-stand the tree...
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)

# Sir at his best :
------------
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theater, though the boy did not see them.
So the next day at school... (to that boy) - " Yesterday I saw you WITH MY
WIFE at the Cinema Theater."
___________________________________________________________

Bihari License Joke, L O Really Loud. What the hell, its Friday afternoon. Our Admin Assistant was wondering what was the joke abt. Cant explain to her.

Here are two more:
From a Lecturer teaching civil engineering.
"The width of the staircase should be such that shoulder shoulder no touching"

From a college Librarian:
"if the books come and go, then it will come to my neck"

The Bihari Driving License, God I started laughing like crazy in my office, couldn't control. Best Best joke...

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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM

JRF ,

Nice to see a post from you after quite some time . Hope all s well .

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Fido.

I Beg to State that since I am suffering from fever since last two days, I may be granted a leave for one day.

Thanking you

Yours faithfully
Pantar