Q: Did you hear about the man who lost the use of the entire left-hand side of his body?
A: He's all right now.
_________

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mountain climber? You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
_________
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? - "I'll never part with it."
_________
What's the difference between an elephant and eggs?
If you don't know the difference between an elephant and eggs, I wouldn't send you to the store to get eggs.
_________
Q: Why did the girl mushroom love the guy mushroom?
A: Because he is a fungi.
_________
Pete and Repeat are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off, who's left?
repeat
Pete and Repeat are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off, who's left?
repeat
Pete and Repeat are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off, who's left?
...
...
_________
A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender brings him his drink and says to him "sir do you know you have a steering wheel coming out your ass?" the pirate replies "arrgh and it be driving me nuts!"
_________
Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9!
_________

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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank.
If you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
- Bill Maher