A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband:


Lady: I lost my Husband
Inspector: What is his height
Lady: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Lady: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Colour of eyes
Lady: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair
Lady: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was he wearing
Lady: suit/casuals I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Lady: Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the lady started crying…..
Inspector: Let’s search for the dog first!!!!!!!

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The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Nice one….

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.
The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened. He kept increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept coming home before him.
At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.
An hour later.... The man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife.
Frustrated the man said," Put that cat on the phone, I am lost and I need directions to reach home!!!


Moral:
"How much ever we dislike somebody, someday we will need their assistance. So never worry how many people dislike you.... "

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The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Good.

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife.... "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,"Wait just a moment!" She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.
" You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it.

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The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the
dining room table:


'My Dear Wife.

Youwill surely understand that I have certain needs that you,
being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy
with you & I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading
this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact
that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary
at the Comfort Inn Hotel.

Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight.'

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When the man came home late that night, he found the following
letter on the dining room table:

'My Dear Husband.

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about
my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to
remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a
Math Teacher at our local college.
I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the
Marriot Hotel with Michael, one of my students. He is young, virile
and like your secretary, is 18 years old As a successful businessman
who has an excellent knowledge of Math,

you will understand that although it may appear that we are in
the same situation, there is one mathematical difference:


18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow......!!!

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The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Quote:

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18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow......!!!

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Quote:

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Originally posted by cooolll_guy

Quote:

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18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow......!!!

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Moderators :- Is this joke appropriate for this forum?

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MK