Its been a long time since I came here...exactly four months as of today..

In the last week of April this year ,my wife and me finally relocated to Toronto. We were expecting our first child and were full of hopes for the future.

As any immigrant would - I had read through a lot of posts in the forum here (found majority of the advices that I got regarding housing,budgets,PR cards,Health insurance to be incorrect) and soon joined the desi brigade who started whining and complaining about the racial discrimination, lack of job opportunity ,cost of living etc etc.

It was as if the whole purpose of comming to Canada (better life,more money,better work) was defeated.I became part and parcel of the immigrant community who chose to come here of their own accord and then regreted the decision.

On the 28th of July 2006.... two weeks before the delivery of our first born...our first born died .

Yes ...Just like that. No complications,no umbelical cord death,no infection...nothing. The baby had not kicked for a day and so we went to St.Michaels hospital for a check up and were told the horrific news.

And now here we were..a couple who knew no one (Just a couple of friends),no family,no Doctor uncle, No ministers to back him up..... stuck in a hospial in a strange country with strange people.

And thats when we met angels....A nurse called Sabrina who cared for my wife more than her own sister would have done, a nurse called Carrol who looked after us like her own children, a nurse called Flori who sat in the night and prayed with my wife, Doctor Lewinsky who cried with us when the baby was delivered ,Doctor Jamie who showed maturity beyond her age and many others.

Absolute strangers who went beyond the call of their duty and showed us such compassion that it is unbelievable.Pople who formed a protective shield around us and helped us recover through the emotional turmoil we were in.

Absolute strangers who helped us through the most difficult time of our lives by becoming our family.People who were neither white,nor desi, nor blacks nor muslims.......people who were just HUMANS.

My wife was in labor for 5 days and they did their best not to leave her scarred physically or emotionally for life. They helped her deliver in a natural way. They could have opted for a c-section and put and end to the ordeal for all of us - but they wouldnt...they wanted her to recover physically and emotionaly without a physical scar as a constant reminder.

Those five days made me realise that if there is one reason people should think and rethink about why they should migrate here or even why they are here - then let me sum it up for all in one wod - Compassion.

O Canada....till death do us apart.

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I AM "CAN-INDIAN"

Our sympathies go towards you and your family. We hope that you will recover from this unbearable loss and become a shining light in Canada.
I am glad that you have found Canada to be with caring people.
My prayers are with you as cope up with this loss and as you try to find a strong foothold in this land.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with this forum.
Please do ask if you need any help. I will try my level best to help you with whatever little means that i have at my disposal.
TK A

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

Really sorry to hear about your loss...it must have been devastating for both you and your wife.

Good to know you found people to support you through that. I think I speak for all CD members when I say that our prayers are with you and your wife. If you need any other kind of assistance, I'm sure there are people here (including myself) who would like to help.

I hope people don't make this a Canada good vs. bad thread.

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Are you there?

Shubi13,

One can't even try to fathom the sorrow that both you and your wife must have felt at such a loss; must have been like dying yourself. Those with children can understand the pain you must be going through. We will pray for you.

If we can do anything at all for you, please ask.

No words can express the mental turmoil that you two must be going through, and I fully understand your position of being in a new country with no one to fall back on.
We also went through the same situation when we had our first baby this Feb, and we had to go back to the hospital after 3 days because my wife started having complications due to epidural......and then had to wait in the emergency for 5 hours for the doctor to look at her!!! Since we had no one, we had to take the 3 days old baby with us in the emergency.

By God's grace, the baby is doing fine now, but we will always remember those cold bleak days of Feb

I know it sounds hollow, but believe me, you two will come out of this. Time is the biggest healer. Be optimistic, positive, and please don’t let your wife get into the vicious circle of depression. Only your positive attitude can keep her away from that. It will take a long time for you two to overcome this tragedy, but be positive, have faith in God, and you will overcome.

If you require any help, let me know, I will try my level best.

Take Care

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sumjo

Shubi13..its really stalled to know abt ur precious loss as if someone ever could imagine. I myself a mother of 9 months old baby boy and i can definately understand the pain u and ur wife are going through. Please take care of ur wife as she really needs ur support and if something we could do, Please let us know...we're always there to help our desi fellows.

(God Bless U)
Allah Hafiz

May God give your family and you the strength for the tough times. And bless those kinds souls.

Trinity