1.Santa Singh goes to an electronics shop to buy a TV.

Do you have color TVs?
Sure.
Give me a green one, please.

2.Sardarji calls Air India.

How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?
Just a sec, comes an answer.
Thank you says the Sardarji and hangs up!

3.The Race

A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to
why are the guys doing what they are doing The bystander A Marathon race is
going on.
Sardar : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!

4.Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was
ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I
accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your
other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."

5.Engagement ring


The Sardarni asked her lover, Santa Singh
Santa Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?
Sure replied Santa What's your phone number?



6.Santa and Banta boasting of their parents achievements

Santa : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?'
Banta : 'Yes, I have'
Santa : 'Well, my father dug it.'
Banta : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?'
Santa : 'Yes, I have.'
Banta : 'Well, my father killed it.'

7.Sardarji proposes to a woman.

She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears.

Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch
him killing a huge one.

He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and
*AGAIN* barefeet!"

8.Donkey ride


Mr. and Mrs. Banta Singh's two-year-old boy was bawling away loudly. Mrs.
Singh asked her husband why their son was being so difficult. "he wants to
take a ride on a donkey,"replied Banta.
"Then why don't you put him on your shoulders and go for a run?"

The Sardarji doctor to his patient

"It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before
you feel the pain."

9.Double trouble

There were these two Sardarji twins who looked so incredibly alike, that
sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other really
knowing about it.

10.Well-prepared

Mrs Banta phoned Banta in the office and said: "Darling, come home early,
we are going to have my mother for dinner."

"Good" replied Banta, "make sure she`s prepared well".

11.The act of unlocking

A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, They
were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it.
He went to the service department and found a mechanic, Mr Santa working
feverishly to unlock the driver`s side door.
As the customer watched from the passenger`s side, he instinctively tried
the door handle and discovered it was open.
"Hey," he announced to the technician, "It`s open!"
"I know," answered Santa.- "I already got that side."

12.Fine for parking here


Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the
wall.
It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.)
Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala
gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).

13.Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the
telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25
minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less
than half an hour conversation on the phone."
"I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.

14.A Sardarji came to a newspaper office to place an advertisement
announcing his father's death. "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm,"
the clerk told him.
"Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the Sardarji. "My father
was 182 cms tall."

15.Two Sardarjis were in conversation on the beach :
Sardarji 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?
Sardarji 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ?
Sardarji 1 : Nahe pata.
Sardarji 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach
kahete hai .

16.Doo Bacchon Ke Baap


A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for
the office: 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa'. One day his wife fed up of this
answered: ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'. That ended the husband's
witticisms.

17.Santa Singh and Banta Singh had strong reservations against the Mandal
Commission's recommendations. They found an ingenious way to get round
them. Santa Singh's daughter, Manjeet married Banta Singh's son, Diljit.
They named their grandson Mandal Jeet.

18.Banta Singh went to eat in ramshackle hotel. To his surprise the waiter
who came to serve him happened to be one of his classmate at school. Banta
called him and said 'Aren't you ashamed of working in a seedy joint like
this?'
'Not at all,' replied the classmate. 'I would be ashamed if I ate my meal
here. I only work in this place.'

19.Mrs Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband. She sent it
to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said: ' The
buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to
the postage . You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater.

20.Avtar and Kartar used to stay in same building. Avtar on the ground
floor and Kartar on the 25th floor. One day when the lift was not working
Kartar invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25th floor to find
Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read : ' How did you
enjoy your dinner?'
Not to be outdone, Avtar wrote under it, 'Sorry, I could not make it.'
--

-----------------------------------------------------------------
I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

Nice, TK.

Cheers

Quote:

---

Originally posted by tamilkuravan

1.Santa Singh goes to an electronics shop to buy a TV.

Do you have color TVs?
Sure.
Give me a green one, please.

2.Sardarji calls Air India.

How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?
Just a sec, comes an answer.
Thank you says the Sardarji and hangs up!

3.The Race

A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to
why are the guys doing what they are doing The bystander A Marathon race is
going on.
Sardar : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!

4.Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was
ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I
accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your
other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."

5.Engagement ring


The Sardarni asked her lover, Santa Singh
Santa Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?
Sure replied Santa What's your phone number?



6.Santa and Banta boasting of their parents achievements

Santa : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?'
Banta : 'Yes, I have'
Santa : 'Well, my father dug it.'
Banta : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?'
Santa : 'Yes, I have.'
Banta : 'Well, my father killed it.'

7.Sardarji proposes to a woman.

She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears.

Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch
him killing a huge one.

He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and
*AGAIN* barefeet!"

8.Donkey ride


Mr. and Mrs. Banta Singh's two-year-old boy was bawling away loudly. Mrs.
Singh asked her husband why their son was being so difficult. "he wants to
take a ride on a donkey,"replied Banta.
"Then why don't you put him on your shoulders and go for a run?"

The Sardarji doctor to his patient

"It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before
you feel the pain."

9.Double trouble

There were these two Sardarji twins who looked so incredibly alike, that
sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other really
knowing about it.

10.Well-prepared

Mrs Banta phoned Banta in the office and said: "Darling, come home early,
we are going to have my mother for dinner."

"Good" replied Banta, "make sure she`s prepared well".

11.The act of unlocking

A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, They
were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it.
He went to the service department and found a mechanic, Mr Santa working
feverishly to unlock the driver`s side door.
As the customer watched from the passenger`s side, he instinctively tried
the door handle and discovered it was open.
"Hey," he announced to the technician, "It`s open!"
"I know," answered Santa.- "I already got that side."

12.Fine for parking here


Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the
wall.
It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.)
Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala
gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).

13.Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the
telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25
minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less
than half an hour conversation on the phone."
"I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.

14.A Sardarji came to a newspaper office to place an advertisement
announcing his father's death. "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm,"
the clerk told him.
"Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the Sardarji. "My father
was 182 cms tall."

15.Two Sardarjis were in conversation on the beach :
Sardarji 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?
Sardarji 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ?
Sardarji 1 : Nahe pata.
Sardarji 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach
kahete hai .

16.Doo Bacchon Ke Baap


A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for
the office: 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa'. One day his wife fed up of this
answered: ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'. That ended the husband's
witticisms.

17.Santa Singh and Banta Singh had strong reservations against the Mandal
Commission's recommendations. They found an ingenious way to get round
them. Santa Singh's daughter, Manjeet married Banta Singh's son, Diljit.
They named their grandson Mandal Jeet.

18.Banta Singh went to eat in ramshackle hotel. To his surprise the waiter
who came to serve him happened to be one of his classmate at school. Banta
called him and said 'Aren't you ashamed of working in a seedy joint like
this?'
'Not at all,' replied the classmate. 'I would be ashamed if I ate my meal
here. I only work in this place.'

19.Mrs Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband. She sent it
to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said: ' The
buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to
the postage . You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater.

20.Avtar and Kartar used to stay in same building. Avtar on the ground
floor and Kartar on the 25th floor. One day when the lift was not working
Kartar invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25th floor to find
Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read : ' How did you
enjoy your dinner?'
Not to be outdone, Avtar wrote under it, 'Sorry, I could not make it.'
--

---

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Success

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded. Bessie Stanley