We came back last month after a 15 days visit to India.This was our first visit back home after coming to Canada after 1year. We were very excited and emotional and bought bagsful of gifts for everyone and spent >$2000 just for gifts that included branded perfumes, jackets, gadgets, chocolates and much more.
However, we didnt see the same enthu reciprocated when these gifts were given away! No I didn't expect a big applaud or a dance but I don't know how to put it but i felt as if this was very much expected and no big deal if we tootook all branded stuff and not the dollar deals!!
This is not all.We were also expected to pay for all hired cabs dinners and had to buy more gifts. BTW this visit for a family wedding and we already had given the wedding gift. Nobody realised the fact that we didnt go back after 10 years ..it was 1 year in Canada! We are yet to have our own car, house and a decent bank balance. This visit costed us $10000.
Can you guys tell me how i should look at it.I dont want to discuss this with my hubby coz he may feel bad .
but seriously is this how we will be treated everytime we go back? Am i over reacting? Is this just my in-law itch( i never had it so far in 7 years of my marriage)? At least i am not buying gifts any more!

You folks came back last month and u r still keeping this in your mind?? C'mon, you need to let go this. Now u know what to take next time.

Last two times when I went, I took the calculator with pen that's available in the dollar store. Believe it or not, all 20 I had taken were gone. Very useful for working folks. It can be closed and looks like a lipstick jar. News spreads fast in desh. Some openly asked for it saying that we had given that to xyz person. Other was the small round alarm clock with red and white maple leaf on it. It can be closed and sits on the circular stand. Ten of them, gone. We dont have one just for the heck of it. And I cant find it in the store.

dio

helloG,
India has grown a lot. They abund in Money, these days and you get all things in India for cheaper rates. Anyone owning a house in a metro is worth atleast a Crore.
When I left in 2002, I was not able to see even a Manager owning a laptop. I asked one of my classmates as to how much a person will offer me for selling them a P3 Dell Laptop and he told me that even if I give it for free no one will take it.
So situations have changed and may be we also have to change.
When I went to India in Jan 2006, I took 2 suitcases (64Kg) of Canned meat, Chocolates, Soup mix, etc... All were got from No Frills. People loved it then as even at that time, these were not to be found in India.
So we have to change as per the needs of 2008.
Peace

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

I agree with you Tk and DIO. Its just been a year that we came to Canada so we did have an idea about stuff that will be appreciated but you know somehow it was more of an attitude thing. Does it happen with all NRIs that when they visit they are the ones who are expected to pay everywhere and everytime.
I think i am taking it too far and i should just forget and move on...Just wanted to share and vent this .

HelloG,

Attitude is an individual thing. Depends on whom u deal with.
Dont worry, u r not taking it far (if u had kept this for the next couple of years and fighting with your hubby all the time, that's taking it too far). Venting it out is a good thing. At least u got out of your chest.

dio

Well for sure India has come a long way since we've left it to come here. We'll be visiting india later this year and when we ask relatives what they'd like from here, they all say, dont get anything as everything is available in India.

I'd say, you forget this incident and move on. You gave with good intentions. Sometimes there is a greater joy in giving than receiving or expecting something in return. Just look upon it as an act of kindness.

Hi All,

I am not touching the point, what items are recommended for gifts and their availability back home. The point is, as OP says, you may expect following when visiting India, first or subsequent visit.

You will spend for cab/ food/ stay and everything. The relation, being elder/ younger won’t matter; the only rule is you NRI, you spend. By the way, they will not let go any chance of explaining how rich they are; but spending you do. They will tell you how cheap it is calling from India to other countries, but will never make a call.

In our first ever visit after six years of leaving India, we gave SHAGUNS (cash gifts) and gifts to all and everyone took it as if it was our FARAZ (must for us). Needless to mention, even the elder’s reciprocation was a big nil. I hear a lot of same experiences from others in Canada and the things are not very different in other neighboring countries.

-Ben