Posted on: 25-07-10 23:54:03
This was in one of forwarded emails:
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will receive an ' HST Compensation'' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an 'HST Compensation' payment ?
A. It is money that the provincial government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the economy by spending your compensation cheque wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka ...
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in Canada by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to hockey games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only Canadian businesses still operating in Canada. )
Conclusion:
Go to a hockey game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day !
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
Desitiger chime in.
Quote:
Desitiger chime in.
Dude, you have covered pretty much everything - my only suggestions:-
1. Convert your Canadian GST check into US dollars using http://www.xe.com" rel="nofollow">LINK - Best rate for conversion and smooth transactions
2. Take these US $ to Buffalo and buy Canadian gas and Canadian beer for cheaper than what you pay here
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Microsoft - Which end of the stick do you want today?
ROTFL. Conclusion is great.
LOL...
Isn;t that a slap on our face.. a can of beer costs 2$ in LCBO even if u buy bulk.
Happy hour beer costs 1$ a can in us..
Quote:
Originally posted by DesiTiger
Quote:
Desitiger chime in.
Dude, you have covered pretty much everything - my only suggestions:-
1. Convert your Canadian GST check into US dollars using http://www.xe.com" rel="nofollow">LINK - Best rate for conversion and smooth transactions
2. Take these US $ to Buffalo and buy Canadian gas and Canadian beer for cheaper than what you pay here
Good joke man.
Here are some for friday evening
The economy is so bad that African television stations are showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!
The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.
The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, "This is a robbery!"
The economy is so bad, Bill Gates had to switch to dial up.
The economy is so bad, Barack Obama changed his slogan to "Maybe We Can!"
The economy is so bad, my ATM gave me an IOU!
The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty.
The economy is so bad I saw a man in Costco buying one roll of toilet paper.
The economy is so bad that I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border to Mexico.
The economy is so bad, mothers in Ethiopia are telling their children, "Finish your meal! Don't you know there are starving children in the US?"
The economy is so bad, that a prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on her back.
It's so bad, a stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
Quote:
Originally posted by chekram_04
Good joke man.
Here are some for friday evening
The economy is so bad that African television stations are showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!
The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.
The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, "This is a robbery!"
The economy is so bad, Bill Gates had to switch to dial up.
The economy is so bad, Barack Obama changed his slogan to "Maybe We Can!"
The economy is so bad, my ATM gave me an IOU!
The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty.
The economy is so bad I saw a man in Costco buying one roll of toilet paper.
The economy is so bad that I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border to Mexico.
The economy is so bad, mothers in Ethiopia are telling their children, "Finish your meal! Don't you know there are starving children in the US?"
The economy is so bad, that a prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on her back.
It's so bad, a stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
Here is another:
The economy is so bad, Dalton MCGuilty actually had to "think twice" before raising taxes (again)
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Microsoft - Which end of the stick do you want today?
Quote:
Originally posted by manserwadekar
Instead, keep the money in Canada by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to hockey games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only Canadian businesses still operating in Canada. )
Conclusion:
Go to a hockey game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day !
Just add (1) casino and (2) lotto(OLGC)
