Posted on: 01-05-06 17:36:35
While I seem to agree one of your point to bring awareness among kids about Sex, STD, impacts of early pregnancy, Drugs etc.., etc.., but I disagree with your point on supporting such level of openness in the name of pleasure.
From my view point, I feel there is a strong corporate driven economical interest behind promoting free (sex) culture. If we do the math, we'll be there. Several cultures and Faiths that I've little knowledge about, strictly prohibit this.
While I was young as a teen, I often felt attracted to a more open life some folks around us maintained, I used to crib a bit myself (Can't tell my Father) but I doubt if I would've managed to remain where I am if I had not controlled myself (Ofcourse under external pressure from family, society, culture etc.,).
Just imagine little beyond the outcome of supporting such open (sex) culture, there will be a huge chaos, conflicts, mistrust, unfaithfulness, etc.., etc.,
I can't even quote "can't live like animals", because my observations based on programs such as Discovery Channel and Animal Planet represent that so called animals indeed maintain a good level relationship among them. (There may be exception but can't generalize).
Couple of movies such as "Fear", "Derailed", "Fatal Attraction", "Traffic" bring good light on the impact of such prefereces. People who have seen these movies can iterate the point. In the light of such interests I feel the term "Marriage" has started losing its significance.
But what does lack of Faith, mistrust and commitment yield. "Depression" and several trips to "Psychiatrist" and many more to add....
Finally, I feel it is not very easy to be cautious while feeding emotion, coz both are mutually exclusive, hence the after effects. Though there are chances that the good customs might provoke youngsters, I get to feel they work better in certain aspects.
Quote:
Originally posted by Nikhil
Nice one Loser.
I can understand any parents concern about drugs but why be strict about sex? When a teenager biologically matures into an adult it’s just a growing phase in life brought about by the hormonal changes in the body. So why should parents stifle this curiosity which every growing adult encounters? A more practical approach would be to make kids aware of the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases and the problem of unwanted pregnancy. Virginity is no longer a virtue and it’s meaningless to control the effects of testosterones in males. Why loose the enjoyment and fun which others in your age group can have just because your parents object to it. Sex is no sin, only a natural desire and all humans should enjoy it.
Nikhil
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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM
Quote:
Originally posted by JRF
Just imagine little beyond the outcome of supporting such open (sex) culture, there will be a huge chaos, conflicts, mistrust, unfaithfulness, etc.., etc.,
All that exists even where sexual conduct is regulated. If one has the mental makeup to be a swinger...one should be free to do it. That lifestyle is not for everyone. Responsibility is learnt not forced. If people are responsible and know their own limits, there will not be trips to the shrink. For those who are not responsible...all the cons will apply. Freedom comes at a price...the weakest often pay it.
You did mention the commercialisation of sex...I agree that it sends a lot of -ve messages about sex to our little ones. Hopefully we as parents can tell them what a beautiful thing it is without feeling the need to debase their sexual identities. If they get sexual info from their friends its probably going to continue the cycle where sex is dirty...and thats going to be self-fulfilling.
Oops I just read the last few posts without reading the OP. Sorry Meghal for adding to the derailment!
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I can't dispute your point on the sufferings despite the social regulations, but I definitely see the society helps to control it as the focus is often diversified.
Similarly, I feel it is essential to educate a child about Relationship and Sex( I feel both are quite related) but the question is
How ?
When ? (Before the bridge is under waters 
) and the kid is not bored of repeating something they know damn well..
I sense I've derailed the topic, I am sorry about it. May be we can open another thread and discuss this with like minded parents or future parents..
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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM
Do you mean the condom manufacturing companies promote free sex culture so that they can sell more of their products? I see no harm in that because adult teens are targeted by a host of companies. As long as the benefits outweigh the costs it is a win all situation.
85% men and 77% women in US have had sex by the time they are 19 years old.
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_teen_sex.html
That hasn’t hampered them in any way to be a technologically advanced society. Sex doesn’t inhibit intellectual growth on the contrary it is beneficial to humans. http://www.forbes.com/2003/10/08/cz_af_1008health.html
Now the question arises at what age after becoming an adult should one indulge in sex? The question is open to debate and I don’t want to discuss about it right now.
Does sexual abstinence make a better human being and what is the outlet for the pent up sexual energy? If sexual abstinence was good then most of the successful people on the globe should be virgins.
In this day and age we cannot quote centuries old customs and cultures because we have to live by our times. Weren’t child marriages common in these cultures? So can we follow the same practice today? And talking about marriages and cultures wasn’t Draupadi married to the five Pandava’s?
Nikhil
Quote:
Originally posted by morning_rain
Can I disagree with your first statement that Canada cannot provide you the 'joy' of celebrating Navratri or Diwali. Granted it will not be celebrated the same way that you would celebrate in India, however as you mentioned its how one looks at it. Culture itself evolves over time and place. What has developed here is an "indo canadian" culture where one has the choice to express their traditions and beliefs the way that they see fit (in theory).
You can light candles, do puja, fireworks etc while you are in Canada. You can go to the mandir etc. IMO, Diwali (for ex) doesnt lose its specialness.
I am talking about the whole festive atmosphere. That smell of joy and happiness (mixed with smell of sulphuric smoke of fire crackers). In Canada, I am working during the Diwali days. There is no way I can "get in the mood" for Navratri and Diwali.
And I hail from a city called Bhuj in Gujarat, where Diwali is altogether a different experience. It becomes a "mass" festival and not "individual". It is not just restricted to bursting crackers or going to temples, but is more than that. Nobody in Canda might be more miserable than me during those 5 days in Oct-Nov.
Quote:
Why loose the enjoyment and fun which others in your age group can have just because your parents object to it. Sex is no sin, only a natural desire and all humans should enjoy it.
Nikhil
I also tend to bit disagree about this viewpoint. Yes, sex is a natural desire, but I do not know why, I tend to become old fashioned when it comes as to which age one should have sex. I believe that sex + love can be more fulfilling than only sex. And sex with a single partner can be more fulfilling than changing your partners every day. But that is my viewpoint.
Based upon my discussion with my colleagues (not my experience) I belive that the teenagers here are under peer pressure to have sex during their school life. It is kind of "cool" to be pregnant. But wonder, as to how many teen mothers realize the negative impact their child can have in their early stages of life. I do not know if all the guys who father the kids fulfill their duty as a father. Just sending few dollars to your kids every week does not release you from your obligations as a father. You are required to provide emotinal support to your kid. How many teenagers would realize that before having unprotected sex and having kids.
And all this discussion seems ridiculous, when Vatican still can't decide their mind about condoms and prefers abstinence as a method of birth control http://news.google.ca/news?q=vatican+condom&hl=en&lr=&rls=GGGL,GGGL:2005-09,GGGL:en&sa=X&oi=news&ct=title. I thank God that I am Hindu, where hardly any fuss is made about a person's sex life.
But at same time, it would be interesting to see, that when religion does not have any influence on your sex life, how will the changing times impact Indian society. How tolerant it will be to issues like premarital sex & homosexuality. No doubt, there was a big hue and cry from BJP about "Indian values",when government decided to put condom vending machines. I do not know if that idea was ever implemented or not.
Meghal
P.S. - Even though we have digressed from topic, it is refreshing to see people not making personal insults to each other
Quote:
Originally posted by Nikhil
Does sexual abstinence make a better human being and what is the outlet for the pent up sexual energy? If sexual abstinence was good then most of the successful people on the globe should be virgins.
Nikhil
Definitely not. If Hindu scriptures are taken as basis, nowhere is sex considered as sin or celibacy as virtue. The only celibate characters in Hindu mythology are Narad Muni & Bhishma. And I doubt if the meaning of "brahmacharya" can be strictly taken as abstinence from sex
Meghal
Quote:
I can't dispute your point on the sufferings despite the social regulations, but I definitely see the society helps to control it as the focus is often diversified.
I think regulations only serve to sweep it under the carpet. Also with all the changes in society and as we evolve...our dependence on societies approval for *all* our needs decrease.e.g: girls who work in call centers in mumbai, working the night shift. About 40 yrs ago many in society would frown on any girl who went to earn a living in India, let alone work the night shift. However, now society is having to adapt to the new reality. Societies approval does not play as important a part as it did in the past. I am quite certain that sexual attitudes are rapidly changing in India as they are in China. Western societies have been through this whole sexual revolution bit already. For better or worse.
Quote:
Originally posted by meghal
I also tend to bit disagree about this viewpoint. Yes, sex is a natural desire, but I do not know why, I tend to become old fashioned when it comes as to which age one should have sex. I believe that sex + love can be more fulfilling than only sex. And sex with a single partner can be more fulfilling than changing your partners every day. But that is my viewpoint.
I dont know if its got anything to do with fashion
. I share the same viewpoint. That does not make it the 'right' thing or the 'only' way to happiness and satisfaction (physical or mental). Its right for me up until this point of time. Judging others(even if only on the basis of their sexual preferences) probably does more harm to the judge . If one does not judge then there is no question about a certain behaviour/preference being right or wrong...just personal preferences....as in everything else.
Different strokes(no pun intended)
, for different folks.-----------------------------------------------------------------
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