Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 19-07-07 10:21:47
Hi All
Its nothing new - there is increasing media attention being paid to the Indo canadian.. read "Sikh" community in BC lately because of so many domestic murders / murder suicides and honour killings.
I wanted to start a discussion among CD members. What can we do to deal with this problem? what IS the problem? is it a cultural thing? is it something to do with how children are being raised ie differences between male children and female children? Is it the way women are percieved in Indian or Sikh or Punjabi culture?
Does it help to write a book/ article about the number of incidents hoping to serve as a wake up call?
any thoughts?
there is a very negative perception about the sikh community in BC.
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~ Morning rain
This is a very serious problem.
Because such Sikh parents themselves dont have knowledge about Sikhi and the tenets propagated by the Gurus, they dont impart anything meaningful to next generations, and then the kids start to feel it as a ritual or burden or meaningless actions. Overall we all are in the race of money, show-off etc due to which actual meaning and purpose of life is never delved upon.
Further, sikhs gain more recognition in media due to their appearance. Just one bad apple is enough to spoil the complete basket.
A true sikh recognizes mankind as a single race, woman/man/child/elder... all are equal and God's face for him. Simran and Seva are such person's guiding principles of life.
I am not sure what kind of eye-opener an article/book will act as, but certainly this is very important stats which should be brought forward and discussed in gurudwaras.
Humbly seeking forgiveness of all.
Regards.
Quote:
Originally posted by morning_rain
Hi All
Its nothing new - there is increasing media attention being paid to the Indo canadian.. read "Sikh" community in BC lately because of so many domestic murders / murder suicides and honour killings.
I wanted to start a discussion among CD members. What can we do to deal with this problem? what IS the problem? is it a cultural thing? is it something to do with how children are being raised ie differences between male children and female children? Is it the way women are percieved in Indian or Sikh or Punjabi culture?
Does it help to write a book/ article about the number of incidents hoping to serve as a wake up call?
any thoughts?
there is a very negative perception about the sikh community in BC.
I am glad you raised the issue. I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
I am a sikh myself, was born and brought up in a moderately religious environment back home, never lived in Punjab though. It takes a lot of guts (and shame) to say that I am not a proud sikh anymore, after moving to Canada three years ago.
You don't have to read the newspaper to know something nasty about sikhs in Canada, you just walk down the street or to a store in Brampton and you will find out yourself. Not too sure about the so called 'Honour Killings' but a lot of other things such as domestic assaults, drinking and driving, drug trafficking, gun running seem to be an acceptable part of the community I was once proud of.
It definitely is not a cultural thing, I was raised in the same culture and am proud of the values infested in me by my parents during those tender years.
It all zeros down to the level of education the family has or is willing to provide the same to the next generation. Most of these people from Punjab are uneducated farmers who come to the west with big dreams and end up working double shifts in some manufacturing unit or driving a truck for 18 hours a day. Over the period of time, they accept that their life has to be sacrificed in the hope of providing a better future to their kids.
Thats when the problem starts.....they want to provide their kids with everything they missed on and most of the times go overboard. The end result is what we hear in the evening news, a shootout or a drug bust in Surrey.
Mentoring the youth in heavily sikh populated areas is the only solution!
Your thoughts....
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 21-07-07 04:16:00
Quote:
Originally posted by clandestinely
I am glad you raised the issue. I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
I am a sikh myself, was born and brought up in a moderately religious environment back home, never lived in Punjab though. It takes a lot of guts (and shame) to say that I am not a proud sikh anymore, after moving to Canada three years ago.
You don't have to read the newspaper to know something nasty about sikhs in Canada, you just walk down the street or to a store in Brampton and you will find out yourself. Not too sure about the so called 'Honour Killings' but a lot of other things such as domestic assaults, drinking and driving, drug trafficking, gun running seem to be an acceptable part of the community I was once proud of.
It definitely is not a cultural thing, I was raised in the same culture and am proud of the values infested in me by my parents during those tender years.
It all zeros down to the level of education the family has or is willing to provide the same to the next generation. Most of these people from Punjab are uneducated farmers who come to the west with big dreams and end up working double shifts in some manufacturing unit or driving a truck for 18 hours a day. Over the period of time, they accept that their life has to be sacrificed in the hope of providing a better future to their kids.
Thats when the problem starts.....they want to provide their kids with everything they missed on and most of the times go overboard. The end result is what we hear in the evening news, a shootout or a drug bust in Surrey.
Mentoring the youth in heavily sikh populated areas is the only solution!
Your thoughts....
Hi There
I too am sikh by birth and was raised by my parents in the Sikh faith. Today I dont consider myself a proper sikh or really care about religion..but thats another topic.
I too am almost embarrased to be known as a sikh here.
I do agree with you about the double shifts and overcompensating children. Part of it could be need to absolve themselves of guilt for neglecting their children because they have to work (which many get around by sending the kids back home to be raised by grandparents).. or what about prestige in society (look at our big house and the cars.).. genuinely being confused about gender equality and how society is changing (I mean if you are stuck in a job 18 hours a day..do you have time to care about society's evolution?)
However I also think there is an element of control. Indo canadian parents seem to overcontrol children and see them as property..not separate people. These kids in turn grow up to learn that control is the only way to deal with problems.. u must come out 'on top' all the time.
Is it rocket science to figure out that if you over protect ur children they will never learn to stand on their own feet? If you provide them with so much materially that they come to expect it..and will do anything.. or the opposite when they feel neglected and are attracted to the gang cultures?
I dont know.
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~ Morning rain
My views on the issue:
Honor killings, women being treated as second class citizens were always present in all the cultures including western world. However, in the last 60 years, western world has made dramatic progress towards women's liberation. In India, the women's lib is happening but is very gradual. It will take few decades for them to come to western world level. However, the parent who migrated 50-60 years ago still hold the same old values that existed at the time they migrated and try to practice the same even though in India those values have changed.
Like in any socity all people are not homogeneous. I was raised in a very moderate society where women and men were considered equal. My brother was not treated differently than me. In fact, in my family we were more girls than boys and majority (girls) dominated and boys had to accept what we girls decided. I know some families where girls were treated second class citizens by theiir own mother like men and boys ate first and mother and girls ate whatever was left over. Men and boys were served food whereas womenfolks had to serve themselves.
But I have also seen Indian families in US where they taught girls to always compromise.
I guess it is going to be a very complex issue. Every situation is going to be like fingerprint i.e. unique as it is going to depend on what are the experiences of parents and their beliefs and their kids and their experiences and beliefs.
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 21-07-07 10:37:31
lana2005
I agree. There are always exceptions and one cannot generalize.
The honour killings that seem to be happening in BC are more children, namely daughters, by parents who oppose their choice of partner. I remember listening to the indian radio call in show one day after a 17 year old woman was stabbed to death by her father because she wanted to be with a guy that she loved - who was caucasian. There was so much support and sympathy for the father..I felt that was sick. He saved his reputation..
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~ Morning rain
Quote:
Originally posted by morning_rain
lana2005
I agree. There are always exceptions and one cannot generalize.
The honour killings that seem to be happening in BC are more children, namely daughters, by parents who oppose their choice of partner. I remember listening to the indian radio call in show one day after a 17 year old woman was stabbed to death by her father because she wanted to be with a guy that she loved - who was caucasian. There was so much support and sympathy for the father..I felt that was sick. He saved his reputation..
Did father go to jail? That may serve as a deterrent to others. It is easy to stab your daughter when you are angry. But hope that if he pays for the crime with his life in jail, it will teach others a lesson that girls are not the property of men but human beings.
