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gopalpai   
Member since: Jul 09
Posts: 917
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 16-03-10 22:41:57

I wish to seek guidance from forum people about the following issues which worries me most since I have one daughter and son and how to train them to handle situations when they are older. Most of the people take their children to India after 5-6 grade to give their children their culture and bring them back to canada after they have completed Gr XII

1. drug issues in high schools.

2. single mothers issues.

How to save our children from such issues or rather I will call traps? I have come to canada but I shall never accept the single mother issue with regards to my daughter nor I will tolerate drug issues for both my children. I don't think any parents will tolerate both for that matter.

Any advice is appreciated and thanks in advance.


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The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
Mahatma Gandhi


manserwadekar   
Member since: Jan 09
Posts: 407
Location: All over place

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 16-03-10 23:16:07

Not trying to advise something here but can direct you what can help you as guide. if you like reading I would suggest reading:
seven habits of highly effective people.

This book is not about CEOs CIOs etc, will give you a new perspective. Just read it and you will not regret reading it. you can get it from any local library.



morning_rain   
Member since: Feb 05
Posts: 1920
Location: British Columbia

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 17-03-10 09:00:42

Quote:
Originally posted by gopalpai

I wish to seek guidance from forum people about the following issues which worries me most since I have one daughter and son and how to train them to handle situations when they are older. Most of the people take their children to India after 5-6 grade to give their children their culture and bring them back to canada after they have completed Gr XII

1. drug issues in high schools.

2. single mothers issues.

How to save our children from such issues or rather I will call traps? I have come to canada but I shall never accept the single mother issue with regards to my daughter nor I will tolerate drug issues for both my children. I don't think any parents will tolerate both for that matter.

Any advice is appreciated and thanks in advance.



Honest frank communication with your children is the key. You can have an age appropriate conversation with them, however you will need to be prepared to discuss: sex, birth control, drugs, parties and boundaries. Dont bury your head and say 'my child wont dont any of those...' because the chances are ..that they will be exposed to it. I also dont think sending them to India is the answer, as they will be exposed to it all there too.


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~ Morning rain



ILOVENA   
Member since: Jan 09
Posts: 295
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 17-03-10 16:58:09

To say that a person who is in grade 12 will not fall into these so called "traps" like "drugs in schools" is more presumptive, than based on fact.

Does the OP really know the meaning of the term "single mother"? I very much doubt that - because she seems to think this is a "trap". Divorced or Separated mothers who have the burden of bringing up their children are also categorized as "single mothers".

The right issue would be "teen pregnancy". To say that only south Asians are concerned about it would be stereotyping the Caucasian community - and that would be wrong.

There are thousands of us - white and south Asian children who go to high school without becoming teen parents or drug addicts. It would not be too optimistic to believe that our children will NOT take to drugs, or become parents while at high school.

That being said, the best way to grapple with the possible dangers is to have a candid talk with the child involved. Talking about drugs and teen pregnancy to kids is never easy - no matter what community you belong to. There are hundreds of online resources available about how to discuss these issues.

Also if you have a good rapport with your health provider, or a community worker, they would be more than helpful in letting you choose the right way to put the message across.


PS: Teen pregnancy and drugs have nothing to do with "culture". I am afraid this term "culture" has been misused, misunderstood and over used to misrepresent a community.



fass2008   
Member since: May 08
Posts: 431
Location: Mississauga

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 19-03-10 00:03:50

Quote:
Originally posted by gopalpai

I wish to seek guidance from forum people about the following issues which worries me most since I have one daughter and son and how to train them to handle situations when they are older. Most of the people take their children to India after 5-6 grade to give their children their culture and bring them back to Canada after they have completed Gr XII

1. drug issues in high schools.

2. single mothers issues.

How to save our children from such issues or rather I will call traps? I have come to canada but I shall never accept the single mother issue with regards to my daughter nor I will tolerate drug issues for both my children. I don't think any parents will tolerate both for that matter.

Any advice is appreciated and thanks in advance.




It is very understandable that you are worried for your children's future. Most of us are. You are concerned about how to teach them to make the right choices .. as other parents are. Yet how you approach this is important I think. Instead of making your disapproval the focus talk to the children about what you are worried about and why (and hopefully that will focus more on their health and wellbeing and future prospects and less on culture). Culture is not something that is available on demand within a few years, and even more exposure to one culture or the other is no guarantee that the children wll not take to drugs and sex in any case. There is no shortage of kids raised in India who have sex (and abortions) or take drugs. The only difference is the parents may not know about it. I agree with Morning rain and ILOVENA's comments.


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Immigrant Parents in Canada http://groups.yahoo.com/group/immigrantparentsincanada




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