Hi Nobel,

First I am really sorry to hear about your situation.

I would however ask you to put yourself in her shoes and view the situation. There can be only one reason for this exit ----and that is maybe she wanted to be in India and you want to live here in Canada and she does not want to be forced to stay here.

Agreed you have had some great times but, you have to understand that a woman apart from her husband wishes to be in the company of her family and friends too, especially her parents,and siblings. You have a child just two years back and without parental support she seems to be having an extended post partum depression.

Without the possibility to go back maybe because of financial constraints or you not granting permission this was her only possible route out. She perhaps does not like(have not adjusted) Canada . She was just not comfortable with the lifestyle here.

There is no point getting angry with her or with her parents. They atleast called you up on her return to India without leaving you guessing about their whereabouts.

You need to talk not over the phone but perhaps personally. If you really love her and your daughter perhaps you could concede to some of her demands rather than putting yourself ,your career and your choice of destination first.

Regards
jwagh

Dude ,

You have faced the problem , are in dire straits now and may not be able to think rationally ... Taking the opinion of CD s who do not know you is a good thing ..... Judge and plan a course of action based on what majority of people here advise ...

Now what really confounds me as as follows :

Nobody gets a visitor visa in a day .. It must have taken weeks , perhaps months .

It takes a person 24 -72 hrs to ease the jet lag from the long journey .... and they were perhaps in India with in this time ......

They know that being in India , Canadian law cannot touch them (unless your daughter was born here which is not the case )

Its been planned very wisely and ahead of your knowledge ........

You obviously did nt have a clue , other wise you could have taken measures to prevent it ....... obviously it must have come as a shock .....

All this is what s happened and is in black & white ... there are no mis interpretations .................... Q s that come to mind are ?

a. Why was the husband kept in dark ?
b. We love our parents but if a relationship is good , we love our spouses more . So why ?
c. Parents would wish their daughter s well being although there are cases where the son in law is taken as an outsider .... Dont know but perhaps it happens ..... But in the end they would wish their daughters well being .....

So it was planned by them much in advance and for good as they know that such a drastic step would not be forgotten / forgiven easily ......

If your wife is undergoing depression and you have had a good life together , pray that after some time even in India she comes back to her senses and you both live together ........ you can also forgive and ignore the incident as she has done it under depression ... when a person is not really in his / her circumstances ............

But if she is not depressive then clearly there s something wrong in your marriage and be prepared to accept the fact that its over ...... custody of the child can be decided in an Indian court as well -- the sooner the better because if she starts earning in India , this will also go in her favor .............

But really , in stead of burning in revenge , try to think retrospectively and figure out the root cause of the issue and attend to that .....

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Fido.

I don't know why I just feel like adding that if possible , don t think on this incident too much as the passage of time makes a lot of difference , both sides ....

After a month when you have also cooled down and they are also some what better to handle things , go to India and try and sort things out ....

Acting in haste some time makes us repent at leisure .......... Just think of this episode as your wife being depressive and be content with the fact that she and your daughter are in safe hands ......... Wait for a month and see if things work out .............. Chances of their working out are not going to diminish ........

Let this be known to them also that you are not angry or judgmental and would like to visit them after a month ....

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Fido.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by nobel

I just dont know, my brain is telling me to make them suffer too

---

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Fido.

Hi Nobel

few important things (according to me)

1. as far as custody of the child is concerned you can file the case in India and let your family, friends help you with this and u can be there when it is required, even if your wife starts working still her ability to look after the child can be questioned, she being a depressive person who can indulge in a "criminal act" like abduction and as she was helped in this by your mother-in-law she can be reeled in as well because it was your wife who was under depression not her and you can always insist you being financially better than her in terms of providing your daughter a better living standards, education and better social environment vis a vis if she has to grow up with a social stigma (which is "sometimes" attached to single mothers in India, so all this can be argued in courts)
2. it is always good to talk, but be careful the way you do it as the things you say and do can be used against you in the courts, only involve people who you think will be at your side in the courts.
3. to decide whether you want to continue with the marriage, because if she has done this today you will always be skeptical of her (in my opinion) and it would not be an ideal environment for any child to grow up in. In my opinion, she has broken your trust and she is being very selfish as she is not even thinking about the child who may have to grow up without a father figure (the real father that is) in her life, which is a very imp part of any girl's life which is difficult for even brothers and grandfathers to match.
4. take legal advice, report everything to the concerned authorities, RCMP, Immigration, Police in India etc, even if you don't need it now, you never know when you will and you will have something to back yourself and

"even if you are unable to get the custody of your daughter (which is a bit harsh for me to say), when she is mature enough to understand you can look her in the eye and she can see that you did everything (personally and legally) that you could, to be a part of her life."

you can take our time to decide as to when & how to proceed in your life but the reporting and documentation of events has to be done asap.

It doesn't really matter as to how angry you feel to talk to them, it's very important you analyze every step you "need" to take in the light of it's merits and demerits in your daughter's life.

still I wish everything gets resolved and your family life is back on track without resorting to the legal option.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by mcg7

Quote:

---

Originally posted by nobel

Hi Guys,

We moved to Canada around 2 years back and are married for around 5 years now.
Have a 2 year daughter together.
My wife was suffering from depression from last 2 years and is taking medication.
Psychiatrist told us that main reason of her depression were Unemployment (couldn't get job in her field since we moved here) and Obesity.

Last week my mother in law came from India and told me that she will take of her.
On Sunday my mother in law told me that she is taking my wife and Daughter to friends place on Wednesday and they will stay there overnight and that will give my wife break from me and daily routine, so i agreed.

They were suppose to come back Thursday evening but instead i got a call from my Father in law in India that they all have reached India. He didn't tell me any reason and hung up the phone.

So in short my wife just left with my daughter and went back to India.
I am very disappointed and angry with the whole situation and more so they took away my daughter without my consent.

I have sponsored my daughter immigration last year and she became PR only 6 months back. So i am SPONSOR for my daughter.

What are my legal rights to bring my daughter back to Canada.

---

You are lucky...although i am feeling sorry for your kid

Hope your In-law's will not file a Dowry Case against you

---

Quote:

---

Originally posted by nobel

Blue when you were moving from Montreal why did you kept posting question regarding Job on this site...why didnt you just contacted consulting companies....

Thanks anyway

---

-----------------------------------------------------------------
'Some goals are so worthy, it's glorious even to fail.' (Param Vir Chakra awardee Lt. Manoj Pandey)