"Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support for a lifetime."
A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."
The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."
The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."
The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes"
Genie "Uh, let me see that map again."
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You know you are a desi when ........ You spew forth the virtues of India, but don't want to live there...............You've never had a tanning salon membership
DTC,
The Rabbit- Great joke, bud! Enough to tear one's "hair" out!
Here's one- not as thunderous as yours though.
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Modern version of Birds and Bees- For you IT guys. Maybe old for you but I just heard it down south.
Little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find
out
anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a
cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download
from
my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us
had
used a firewall,
and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later
a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said:
“You've Got Male!"
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reporter
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
She was reluctant to call upon little Johnny, since he was sometimes a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.
Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, and then sat back down.
The teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report on \"something exciting,\" so she asked him just what that was. \"It's a period,\" reported Johnny.
\"Well I can see that,\" she said, \"but what is so exciting about a period?\"
\"Damned if I know,\" said Johnny, \"but this morning my sister said she missed one.... then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the guy next door shot himself!\"
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S. kanji
I may not agree with your opinions, but I will fight to death for you be able to air your views.
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 10-07-05 16:03:14
Santa is walking with one Leg on the Footpath and one on the Road...
A Cop sees this and asks, "How many drinks did you have ??"
Santa, "Thanks for reminding me that I am drunk, I thought I had become LAME...!!!"
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Democratic difference between USA and India...
In USA, you can KISS at a Public place but can't PISS..!
In India, you can PISS at a Public place but can't KISS...!
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Any Woman that thinks, The way to a Man's Heart is through his STOMACH........
.......... is aiming just a LITTLE TOO HIGH...!!
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What would you do if your Lady Love tells you, "I can't take it any Longer..!!"
Tell her, "Don't worry, it's not gonna get any LONGER...!!!"
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Wilma Wentworth, the Striptease Dancer had "W W" tattoed on her Bums......
When she stood up these were her INITIALS
But when she bent over it read "W o W"
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What is the Best and Worst News one might hear at the same time..??
It's when the Wife says, "You have the biggest TOOL amongst your Friends..!!"
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What are the similarities between a BRA and a BAR ??
Both are DRINKING joints.
Restrictions on OPEN/CLOSE time.
Both are Flashy when OPEN. Both drive MEN CRAZY..!!
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If you want to start a business, start a Condom Company named "DIPPER CONDOMS."
It will get free publicity on Indian trucks... "Use DIPPER at NIGHT...!!"
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What did the Gangster's son tell his Dad when he failed..??
"Dad those bastards questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything..!!"
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If Adam and Eve had been Chinese, we would still be in Paradise...
Bcoz they would have ignored the APPLE and eaten the SNAKE...!!
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
A Hindu devotee asked God, represented by the multi-armed Lord Narayana, this question. "My dear Lord," he said. "I understand that you have innumerable inconceivable potencies. But out of all of them the energy of light seems to be the most amazing. Light pervades the spiritual world, it illuminates the material universes, and life is impossible without it." He continued, "I would like to know how you make it work."
"Oh, that's easy," was the reply. "Many hands make light work."
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You know you are a desi when ........ You spew forth the virtues of India, but don't want to live there...............You've never had a tanning salon membership
A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job.
\"Sorry, we don't need anyone...\" the manager at the office replied.
\"You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone, anything, anytime!\"
\"Well, we have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, then you have a job.\"
He was gone about two hours and when he returned, he handed them two checks, one for $25,000 and another for $50,000.
\"How in the world did you do that?\" the manager asked.
\"I told you, I'm the world's best salesman, I can sell anyone, anything, anytime!\"
\"Did you get a urine sample?\" the manager asked him.
\"What's that?\" he asked.
\"Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000, the company requires a urine sample. Now take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples.\"
He was gone about eight hours and the office was about to close, when in he walks with two five-gallon buckets, one in each hand. He put the buckets down, reached in his shirt pocket, took out two bottles of urine, set them on the desk and said, \"Here's Mr. Jones' and this one is Mrs. Johnson's.\"
\"That's good,\" the manager said, \"but what's in those two buckets?\"
\"Well, I passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers' convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!\"
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S. kanji
I may not agree with your opinions, but I will fight to death for you be able to air your views.
A pregnant woman is in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant.
Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot! Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," says the doctor.
The new mother thinks, Wow, that's not a bad name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise! Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, "Denephew."
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S. kanji
I may not agree with your opinions, but I will fight to death for you be able to air your views.
