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A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car`s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, Let`s get off the corner.
No one moved, so he barked again, "Let`s get off the corner!"
Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"
"Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since this is a bus stop."
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A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a Safe Driver Award. Congratulations, what do you think you're going to do with the prize money?"
He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him, he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned."
The guy from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

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Ashish

Hi Ashish,

Good ones, but I've taken the first one out, not really appropriate for a site like ours.

Thanks

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Are you there?

Not a problem

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Ashish

kyon wyarth tension lete ho,
kisse wyarth darte ho
kaun tumhein nikal sakta hai.
Resource na nikala ja sakta hai na nikal sakta hai...

Incentive nahin mila, bura hua
salary cut ho raha hai, bura ho raha hai
Retrenchment hoga, wo bhi bura hi hoga...

tum pichla review na hoone ka paschataap na karo
tum agle review na hone ki chinta na karo
recession chal raha hai...

tumhari pocket se kya gaya jo tum rote ho
tum company ke liye kya project laye the jo tumne kho diya
tumne aisa kaun sa product banaya tha jo scrap ho gaya...

tum koi experience le kar nahin aaye the
jo experience liya company se liya
jo code kiya company ko diya
degree le kar aaye, experience lekar chale...

jo project/product aaj tumhara hai,
kal kisi aur ka tha
parsoon kisi aur ka hoga
tum isse apna samajh kar magn ho rahe ho
bas yahi khushi tumhari tension ka karran hai...

POLICY CHANGE company ka rule hai
jise tum policy Change kehte ho wahi to trick hai...

ek pal mein tum millionare ho jaate ho
doosre hi pal mein tum stipend par aa jate ho...

review, increment etc. etc. man se hata do vichar se mita do
phir company tumhari hai, tum company ke ho...

Na yeh Increments tumhare liye hain,
na tum iske kabil ho
Yeh chamchoon ke liye bana hai
aur unhin ko milega...

parantu job secure hai,
phir tumhein tension kyon hai
tum apne aap ko Company ke aarpit karo
yahin sabse Golden Rule hai...

Jo is Golden Rule ko janta hai
wo review, incentive, recession se sarvada muqt hai...

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You know you are a desi when ........ You spew forth the virtues of India, but don't want to live there...............You've never had a tanning salon membership

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Will you die for me?
Boy: Mine is an undying love.

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I once made a mistake, but I was wrong about it.

This has been forwarded to me by some one:


Krishna:
Arjun, Try to respect the e-mails of your elders.

Arjun:
But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honourable elders who are logged on to honourable domains?

Krishna:
Paarth, at this moment they neither are your friends nor your foes. They are mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.

Arjun:
Hey Murari! After seeing all this, I feel like resigning from Software Industry itself.

Krishna:
Bandhu, it seems you are caught in a vicious circle of Maaya. In this material world you have none and you are committed to none. Junk mails have existed before you came to this world and shall remain long after you are gone. Rise above this Maaya and perform
your duty. Just keep sending junk mails.

Arjun:
But Devaki Nandan...........!

Krishna:
Victory or failure is not in your hands. So stop pondering about results. Don't waste your knowledge on the junk shastra bestowed by your Guru Dronacharya.

Arjun:
Hey Keshav, how is junk mail related to the 'system ‘?

Krishna:
Junk mail is just junk mail. It has no connection with Hardware. However, it is another matter that it overloads the system... fills up the hard disk....but you are not supposed to worry about it. Listen Kunti putra, the way Aatma leaves one physical body and moves onto another, likewise these junk mails move from system to system.

Arjun:
How can one define junk mail?

Krishna:
Neither fire can burn it.., nor can air dry it.. neither it can be conquered nor can it be defeated. He who sends junk mails cannot be looked down upon even by Mahadev... Junk mails are immortal.

Arjun:
Hey Narayan ! Now all my doubts on junk mail are crystal clear. You have opened my eyes Yashoda Nandan, or else I would have lost myself in Maaya and read all the junk mails myself.

………………MAHAAABHAAAAARAT ………............

Years have passed since then, generations have come and gone, seasons have cycled, technology advanced, but junk mails remain. So, go on, contribute something to the history by hitting that forward button yet again to send this junk mail to all !!!!!!

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Pramod Chopra
Senior Mortgage Consultant
Mortgage Alliance Company of Canada

From Conan:

The Chinese are thinking of sending a mission to the Moon by 2007.
They will be the first one to put a Menu on the Moon.

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I once made a mistake, but I was wrong about it.