maybe these are bit old but it never hurts to hear jokes
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A Mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car
when he spotted a famous heart surgeon in his shop who was standing off
to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his
car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor! Please come
over here for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked
argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take
valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will
work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and
me is doing basically the same work?"

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic "Try to do it
when the engine is running."

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Father : If you pass the exam this year then I'll buy you a car.
Son : And what if I fail ?
Father : Then I'll buy you a three wheeler.

* * *

Passenger : Which end of the bus should I get off from ?
Conductor : Either ... it stops at both ends.

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<<<<

Two men were talking.

"What do you do for relaxation", asked the first.

"I like fishing under the bridge when its raining.", the second one
replied.

"But isn't that a weird place to fish", asked the first one.

"Its the best place, the fish keep crowding under the bridge to
remain
dry", replied the first one.

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My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't
enjoy
it.

* * *

My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.

* * *

My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!

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Ashish