Experiences of Families residing in Canada, Spouse continue working in Middle Ea
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Erra , Your wife IS brave in agreeing to stay here alone with two kids and no friends. Welcome to Canada.
One point which I forgot to mention earlier is the requirement of BOTH parents signing on certain forms for the kids (unless they are LEGALLY separated with no custody issues) . I'am not too sure how far this affects you , maybe you can consult with a lawyer after you arrive here. (it may just require you giving your spouse an authorizing letter)
On a final note: Make sure that they are well prepared for any eventuality before you depart for the middle East. The Canadian system is old and broken down and in some ways very similar to the Indian one. You need to scream to get things done.
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
Few examples could be:
a) the husband starts spending more time in office since he is not too keen on going back home early while wife starts spending more time in window shopping (if she is not working) or gets more career oriented, if she takes up a job just to pass her time, rather than for monetary needs.
"Career orientation" is more a trait in an individual's nature IMO. If the wife has not exhibited symptoms of career building until now, it is quite unlikely that it will happen now.
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
c) The father expects the children to spend more time with him when he is with the family on a one week holiday, while children have developed their own time table and friends which they cannot break for 7 days just because the father is in town.
Why not? Any loving son or daughter would gladly alter his or her schedule to be with the father for 7 days.
Unless of course, the child has got "Candianized".
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
For example, the husband might want to keep things in the bedroom in one way, and the wife says that well since he is there only for 7 days, why should the position of furniture or lamp or any other thing be changed.
I don't think a "true" husband has much of a say in any case in matters like this no matter what!
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
Believe it or not, it even becomes a habit of sleeping alone in the bed and so if for 7 days you want to sleep in the same bed, you cannot have as good a sleep as you would have if each had a bed of his/her own.
On the contrary, if the couple meet for only seven days every FOUR months, I will wager that they will sleep in ANY condition and in any disconfort as long as they can at least sleep together!
And that is assuming that they will sleep!
I agree with the rest.
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Diogenes
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The Cynic
Ha, ha !
I totally agree !
Rajan.
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Let's make India a better place !
Location: Beef and Bacon Country
Posted on: 29-09-05 10:53:14
It is extremely frustrating for everyone. The wife, the kids and you. there is a lot of emptional disturbance and frustration. But if you have to do it, then there is no option.
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"Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?"
"I always ask that of all my prey."
"I just like the sound of it."
Quote:
Orginally posted by rajand
Erra,
What I meant was children are more mature to understand the cultural differences & mainly the differences between good & bad around the age of 21-22 when they would have completed their graduation. When they would do their Masters or post-graduate degree in US/Canada, they would not face culture shock as much as some kids tend to do as per the example which was quoted in one of the posts.
rajand,
I understood what you mean.
NYD,
My wife is not brave as you think. That is why I am looking for your advices about the difficulties she has to face there. In fact I did not discuss this issue with her in detail. I wanted to get convinced myself before I discuss with her.
Thanks for your advice on authorization letter.
Dio,
Good sense of humor.
North Alberta,
I was alone for one year when I came to M.E. first time. It took almost one year for me to settle down in M.E. before bringing my family. There can be several reasons why a family needs to live in different places for certain period of time. Icecream covered some of them. There may be very few lucky families who need not live separately during first 15 years after the marriage.
To all, particularly those who spared their time in advising me,
I decided not to keep my family alone there because the benefit, my daughter gets in her studies is not so much compared to the troubles my wife has to face there and psychological sufferings all the family members have to undergo.
We shall land there before Aug, 06 for PR and come back to M.E. after a month. We all shall move together permanently to Canada before Sep, 2007. By that time my daughter will have completed X std and she will have two years school study (XI & XII) in Canada before getting admitted to University.
My above plan is in line with Mishtar_India’s suggestion no.3 which I copy below.
“3. other thing you can also think of is moving to Canada with your family after 2 years instead of 4. That way you will have best of both the worlds.”
Thanks for all in helping me in making a right decision.
erra
Sensible decision, Erra.
Thanks & rgds.
Rajan.
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Let's make India a better place !
.......... and they lived happily ever after.....
