The following changes have just been announced by the UB group as a result of Vijay Mallya having saved Gandhi's personal articles from an auction in New York recently.

1. Vijay Mallya will now be known as Mahatma Mallya

2. King Fisher Beer will now be known as Bapu Beer

3. The last words of Gandhi inscribed on his samadhi, will now read "HEY RUM"
4. Gandhiji will now be known as Old Monk

5. Gandhiji will henceforth be the Brand ambassador of Kingfisher Airlines and its ads will now show Gandhi walking with the support of two air hostesses.

6. All Senior executives of the UB group will henceforth wear Gandhi style glasses only.

7. Mallya is opening up a Khadi factory and will market a line of designer khadi clothes and western style dhotis.

8. Mallya will launch a Quit India movement against all his competitors.

9. Mallya is buying over Sabarmati Ashram and converting it into a Tourist resort.

10. The UB group is developing a line of goats milk products - cheeses, flavoured milks, yoghurts, paneer, butter, chocolates, icecream etc.

11. There will be an annual running marathon race sponsored by UB group which will be called the Dandi marathon and will follow the same route.

12. Finally, Mallya will seek an audience with Queen Elizabeth dressed only in a short white dhoti, chappals and naked from the waist up, to be knighted as Sir Mallya.

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Rajeev Narula, Broker, REALTOR®
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Has has ke tight!
Bedouah ka zaroorat bhi nahin!