Aging parents... Providing emotional support from remote.
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Posted on: 11-04-12 20:00:17
Quote:
Originally posted by Fido
There are choices we have to make and there are costs associated with a choice we take !!
I would have been very happy being in my home town today in all these 13 years that I have been out being with my parents and familiar people all around ... but I am happier today having achieved much more than what I could have done then ..... and living in frustration .
Its a circle of life ... there are things you can change and there are that you cannot .... Like it or not , your parents would not stay with you for a long time but your next generation and the next would get shaped by the choice you make today ..... When our parents were younger , they also might have decided for the next generation's benefit .
It is hard for parents to change or adapt to the new life style .....very difficult to uproot and relocate an old tree ..... Though being in India , they would certainly miss us , but then this is a fact they would understand and come to terms with and still be happy that their children are doing good ........ Plus they still have the surroundings and the culture and acquaintances ...
Don't feel guilty . This is a common feature in India also .... children are is in a far away city and cannot possibly see parents frequently ....
What we can do how ever is to try and make their life more comfortable .. which is a more tedious job in India .... like finding a driver who can drive them around , perhaps a cook / servant who can take care of daily chores ...... Now finding an honest one in today's India is a task ... especially for aging parents .....
I would certainly wish to take advice from CD s on steps to how to get an honest servant / driver / cook in India ? What steps to take ..... and how much to budget for it in Tier 1 / Tier 2 cities ??
Good points but have'nt you already organized their comforts in terms of domestic help etc ? If not, I would do so ASAP.
Quote:
Originally posted by JRF
To all contributors (sorry for not naming), thanks for reply.
- Like many other parents, our parents are mobile up until now, drive their own two wheelers and lucky to have part time drivers around to haul them when they need to go around. At the worst case, call taxi's are just a dial away to engage.
Its really the personal touch they seem to be losing (is it really a mirage), and trust they could be thinking or being influenced by the environment of having been dumped by the kids.
The materialistic support including.
- House
- Transport.
- Domestic help.
- Healthcare (financial perspective).
- Contacts.
All this could be arranged but the emotional part is what goes dangling.....
How bad it would hurt to take a 10 years break from Canada. I know predictions do not hold good for more than couple of years.... but thinking doesn't stop.
I am in touch with few very elderly parents who (have done pretty good jobs in life) but now all they want seem to be the family environment, and these are the very same people time to time push me to re-evaluate my stand on continuing in foreign land.
Every week, we find some of our known folks are dumping US and leave to Canada after acquiring OCI, but it is uncommon in Canada, at least in my social circle here....thso..thso...
10 years ? Try even 2 years out of Canada and then getting back into the Canadian market etc.
Quote:
Originally posted by michelle288
I know the journey is very long but before you decide to relocate back to India, try to visit India twice a year to be with parents. Also request other siblings to do the same. I feel that may be a good way to check on them, build their confidence and show support too. It may not be practical to take the trip always but may have a desired effect even if you are visiting for one week.
what do you mean by 'the journey is very long' ? Also, why visit before deciding to relocate ???
Quote:
Originally posted by ashedfc
Visiting several times, will jeopardize the Canadian side of the persons establishment, as not everyone is capable of getting several holidays, & has the money to spend on traveling & other associated cost. The loss of income & the resulting loss of revenue will be significant. Accepting an assignment in India (closer to parents place) with lesser pay & not having the exorbitant cost of traveling kindoff balances the bill.
Its better off to reverse migrate, & be there for each & every need whenever it happens. This suggestion may not be appropriate for everyone. (as individual situations vary)..
I actually agree with this and financially visiting several times is not feasible, especially from Canada. Even once a year is tough.
