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Originally posted by newboyo

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Originally posted by dimple2001

My parents will be moving to full service retirement community in the next 6 months. The complex contains single family homes whose construction began several months ago.

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Hi Dimple,

Could you share any details of the community - location, facilities etc etc?

Rgds

New

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Dimple2001

Dimple,
I read about an article where Shoba was really building a high tech retirement home in Coimbatore, TN.
Is it what you are referring to? Google will then become our best friend.

Peace

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

This is a sensitive issue. Its not easy to uproot seniors who have settled in a place for decades. They have their own circiles, social/religious/support systems. How they be moved to some other place just because the children think so? That's not right.

My FIL's friend and his wife were moved from Bangalore to Thiruvananthapuram. The guy could not adjust due to langauge, new place, not knowing people around, etc. He had lived in Bangalore for 70 yrs. This took a toll and the guy died within 6 months, more of a worry than anything else.

The reason we moved back to India is to look after our parents. Job or no job. Things will fall in place, after all we were born here and we have our people here, friends and relatives.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Its too awful to see their desperation while on the phone. Our turn is probably just around the corner.

Our elders aren't too demanding to be with them 24X7 but wish we live close by hence the tier-1 city like Chennai which is just about 5 hours drive from my home town.

My concerns were always around two things.
The generation up (parents & in-laws) & the generation down (kids).

thinking....

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Originally posted by KumarM

This is a sensitive issue. Its not easy to uproot seniors who have settled in a place for decades. They have their own circiles, social/religious/support systems. How they be moved to some other place just because the children think so? That's not right.

My FIL's friend and his wife were moved from Bangalore to Thiruvananthapuram. The guy could not adjust due to langauge, new place, not knowing people around, etc. He had lived in Bangalore for 70 yrs. This took a toll and the guy died within 6 months, more of a worry than anything else.

The reason we moved back to India is to look after our parents. Job or no job. Things will fall in place, after all we were born here and we have our people here, friends and relatives.

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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM

Actual case studies I've personally encountered:

1. In indian tradition we need to be there for our parents in their end. Most of the NRI's get calls suddenly that parent serious come immediately. But the person is already dead and by the time they reach the body has been cremated or buried the only thing they can see is the photograph only.

2. There was this CD who went back to India for good and he was with his mother who passed away after20 days of his return to India. I was very shocked when he narrated this to me. It looks like his mother held onto her life until she saw him and let go happily after seeing him. How many million dollars can give him this closure in his life ?.

3. My friends parents (3 couples) all came to their children in Brampton, Mississauga in the last 3 years after all PR formalities . They landed saw one winter and all the 3 parents have gone back to India for good.

4.I go to the temple every year in August and every other person would proudly say that my son is in NY, daughter is in Paris and they would say we have a4 bedroom home but it is very difficult to maintain it. The next year I'll find that they have sold the home and moved to a Condo. The next 2 years I find that they have bought a flat in India and staying there for winter. The parents are shuttling between Canada and India, while children are in NY and Paris. They get to see their children and grand kids once in 2 years. What is the purpose of all this ?.
We have isolated from one up and progressively from one down.

Is it worth it ?.

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Sunny Leone a true Canadian DESI now back in India !.

The reason we moved back to India is to look after our parents. Job or no job. Things will fall in place, after all we were born here and we have our people here, friends and relatives.
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For some money minded people in the America's, this will matter a lot,esp. those with good paying jobs. They will always complain but then never move. I have seen this first hand.

peace

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

VM, you nailed it in point 4. What they did to their parents, now the kids are doing. It has to come around.

JRF, I think the Tier II cities in TN are catching up fast. So keep your options open. Children will adjust quicker than adults, assuming that kids are less than 15 yrs old. It all comes donw to making up your mind. Rest will fall in place by itself. How does it work? Once u r mentally ready, you will start thinking/working on how to move physically.
In the end see what is good for everyone involved rather than relying on what others have done. Each situation is different. Just because I moved does not mean that others in my situation have to move. Each case is different. May be Tier II city in TN may work out well for them to be on their own.