Hi,
My sister got married last year ...the marriage is less than a year old, brother in law and my sister are currently in USA, he is on H1B and she is on H4...Now the guy is demanding $20K, the harassment has been continuous since my sister landed in US, previously my sister's mother in law created a furor over gold and jewelry...Now the guy is threatening with a divorce and is planning to go to India to talk to lawyers it seems...My sister is currently pregnant ....
My sister also did her master's in US and she is trying to tell her that she is willing to work..but the guy and his parents are adamant and want us to shell out money...we already spent huge sum on wedding/jewelery and other stuff..
Can something be done now......there is no dowry law in US..
there is constant mental harassment going on....which comes under domestic abuse....
please guys ....provide me some inputs on how to deal the case in USA....
Anybody....
Sorry to hear about your sisters situation, I can only imagine how difficult this would be for your family. That said, this is a pretty complicated matter to advise on a forum like this, especially without knowing all the details which probably can't (and should not be) shared here. So all I can offer is some generic advice.
I guess the biggest question is whether your sister is interested in continuing the marriage or wants to break it off. Given the situation, I am assuming the latter but the course of action would obviously be very different depending on what she wants.
If the former, the best way might be to get a common connection in your family involved, say an elder who is mutually respected. The role of this person would be take a neutral stand and hopefully drill some sense into your sister's husband.
If the latter, then you should get legal advice. There may be South Asian women's groups OR some other form of social counselling/assistance available where she is in the states. They might be able to help figure out next steps. If there's any real abuse involved, she should contact the police immediately. In either case, she would need a lot of support from you.
Very tough situation (especially given the pregnancy), I do hope things work out...
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Are you there?
Absolutely tough situation...
Any reason behind $20K demand? such as unstable job and then overall pregnancy related expenses? (just to give fair chance to B-I-L).
If second is the case, where she does not want to continue and situation is getting worst then the brother in law is in such a bad situation that either he is not aware of or do not care..
One simple fax to Indian embassy about this and his career over. One divorce and alimony case in US state court where he resides and I am sure tonne of lawyers will make sure that your sis and the baby lives comfortably while he slogs for whole life.
If this is a dowry case and marriage is on the verge of break, then your sis sort of hit a jackpot. (not right choice of words but divorce is a very tough situation in anyone's life).
But I really hope that things work out mutually for all of them and they stay happy. First couple of years of marriage are always difficult and both the parties need to do lot of compromises to make it happy and successful.
This is a private issue. But BL is right. Need help of an elder person. Since your sister is expecting, its more serious now. Else she could have walked out. If I were to be her bro, I would not trust her husband anymore. I cant imagine as I dont have any sisters.
This is typical case of dowry issue. People need to think properly and check out thru references. Aren't boys in India not good enough? Only H1B's and others abroad (in west) are good? C'mon when will our people wake up.
Quote:
Originally posted by KumarM
This is typical case of dowry issue. People need to think properly and check out thru references. Aren't boys in India not good enough? Only H1B's and others abroad (in west) are good? C'mon when will our people wake up.
You missed the point that she has done her masters in US. I think commenting on someone's decision without prior knowledge is not at all helping. That too after the decision was taken. Moreover nowadays no one cares where bride or groom is from.
Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 04-06-12 09:56:59
As BL stated, this is a difficult situation. However, it depends on what your sister wants from this point forward. Your BIL might be threatening since she is on H4 and legally dependant on him. If she wants to stay in the marriage, a lot of discussion needs to happen. If the abuse is intolerable and she wants out, there are numerous paths potentially in her favor including reporting the abuse to US immigration (remember he is on H1 too), social services, his employer's HR and local law enforcement.
She appears to have strong educational credentials that she might be able to stand on her own H1 if she secures a career and turn the table around.
Best wishes to you and your sister during this difficult time.
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Dimple2001
