Why Do So Many Middle-Aged Men Feel So Lost
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Posted on: 02-06-15 13:27:49
Quote:
Originally posted by Blue_Peafowl
off topic:
WOW Just amazing how Fido don't lose a single chance to praise paki's and muslims ....
I did not realize you were so hung up on Muslims ... I suppose you would not have watched any of the Khans movies and would not have allowed your family also ...
OK take your pick some more names coming your way .. and these are not Muslims ..
Hrithik Roshan
Brad Pitt
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Fido.
Quote:
Originally posted by Fido
Suicides and depression happen at every stage and in both sexes ... How you over come them is subjective to to one's financial and emotional behavior.
I recall & cite 2 well known ones who divorced , re married and moved on to their success .... Aamir Khan & Saif Ali Khan ... don't know what happened to their ex spouses.
Life changes are we grow up and we need to evolve with it ... I have forgotten my hobbies of yester decades because .... there are new things now & I need time for them ...
Read some where recently --- as we age , our no. of close friends decline and for seniors there are very few people whom they can call to be close friends...
Life changes and so must you.
Life is excellent for these Celebrity Men folks as they are celebrities and raking in big moolah. Even their ex's must be/should be pretty happy with the arrangements and the freedom/free cash that follows. These Men have options and did pretty well shedding the singlehood tag in no time.
For a common man, it's not that easy, and the article truly reflects that.
I took up an experiment last night to see if there's a truth to this. Emailed couple of my friends and proposed a guys' night/day out or a long drive as per the schedule agreeable to us all. Out of 7, only 2 confirmed to the hangout, 1 had a genuine reason not to, and 4 never bothered to respond. And, this is not the first time. These are the same people that are involved in potlucks and get together with their better halves when the latter arrange the one.
Point being, it goes to show the camaraderie even among Men folks that are constantly in touch. They just can't get together and have a pure and clean fun without thinking and analyzing hard. Slowly and gradually, the friends lose touch and move on. One jolt, like divorce and separation, these very Men feel the utmost social pinch with the depression that looms over.
We should all just take it easy.
FP ,
And yet there were celebs like Guru Dutt or Marlyn Monroe or even Parveen Babi or Smita Patil who suffered from depression and schizophrenia
Your post reminds me of the movie 'Shaadi ke side effects' ..... wherein a married man still wants to live his life as a bachelor.
We have to realize that as we / our family are growing , our responsibilities are also changing .... and we have to come up to those responsibilities for having peace of mind .
My weekends were my own when I was a bachelor ... now they are my family's and I do not repent it .... My family makes up more for the time I used to spend hanging out with friends .... and I can't say I enjoy less . I also don't say that I don't have close friends ... only thing is we get to chat less but I am sure we are there for each other when the time comes...
However I do joke some times that the only time I have for myself is my 1.25 hours commute one way 
Now God forbidding something happens , will I be in a mid life crisis ... for sure I would be ...
Would I be able to get out of it ... that depends on what my financial and emotional situation at that time ...And for sure true friends is definitely needed ...
End of the day , this can happen with anyone ... and each outcome would be subjective .
I fail to see or read the mid life crisis the article talks about .
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Fido.
I agree. With age, responsibilities do change. But, Men do need to take care of their mental and physical health. There must be a reason as to why men have the high rates of heart ailments and suicides (studies prove it). Of-course, you and I are not in this bracket specifically, but there is a larger population that is.
To me, family takes precedence over anything and everything else. However, this doesn't really mean I forego 24 hours and find solace only when everyone goes to sleep or while I am in transit. Everyone needs to relax. Men need to take care of their emotional needs. In my opinion, there's nothing like one or two evenings (in a whole month) to be spent with the friends - only if you have one. Again, not by ignoring one's family and responsibilities that are utmost.
Hmmm ... point noted ... Never thought of this earlier !!
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Fido.
Got your lollipop ? Now lets move on ..
FP ~
Thanks for bringing this topic up and making us introspect closed dimension of our life / selves.
I was pondering over this yesterday and remembered the dialogue with my Physician on my last annual checkup.
Doc : You must incorporate 30 mins of exercise in your daily regime.
Me : I don't get time.
Doc : Time is just a prioritizing of things you consider important .
And I realized that despite having exercise equipment @ home , the only time I would use it is when I would be on vacation .... which perhaps resonates to your thought that WE need to take out time for ourselves .. WE NEED TO ....
Lets see how do I incorporate this ... I do not remember visiting / meeting friends (without family) a couple of times in the past 2 years but I am okay with that but exercise no.. I need to find a way ..
And then I m reminded again when some one asked me what do I do @ leisure - play Golf , trekking ... and I replied .. 'Being with Family'.
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Fido.
It's the same here. Ditto.
Lack of determination to take care one's mental and physical health sometimes take a toll. The distractions are plenty, and to keep them away at bay requires a tremendous will.
Work in progress .
