Can i land first then my wife land later (she's the main applicant)?
if yes , can each person provide his own Goods to follow list or it's just one list per family?

You (Dependent) cannot land before Principal Applicant

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can my wife (the main applicant) and my kids land first, come back to the US then i land later by myself.
if yes , can each person provide his own Goods to follow list or it's just one list per family?

I Think you can have list as per family.You can check with the customs department. But you can have as big a list as you want. bring it in an instalments. we had a list one part we brought in from the US and later on brought in stuff from INdia. but all the items have to be on the list. all we did was inform the customs that 2nd part of the list will follow from India. hope this is help full.