Location: Private location
Posted on: 19-04-06 13:29:32
Ok, well this is something I've thought about for a while now. I've been married 4 years and although my hubby and I are not ready to have kids just yet, I am quite concerned that I have no family here to help when i do. My parents and all the rest of my extended family live in another country and what extended family I do have in Canada, well, they live about 2 hours from me and that is no help either.
What is one to do? One fantastic thing about Canada is that I can leave work for a whole year to take care of baby when i do have one, but what about after that? And what if i want to go back to work after 6 months (because I might be going crazy at home or we might need the money) Who will i leave the baby with? Well, there is daycare but will I be able to afford daycare?
And what about in those instances when you just need someone else to look after baby for a little while? I would have to pay for a sitter because of no family member around me. And I don't really know my neighbours that well enough to leave my baby with them.
These are the things I think about before we have a child...is there anyone else in a similar situation? How have you managed?
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Bijou Bazaar
http://bijoubazaar22.googlepages.com
Good questions, unfortunately i dont have children yet, but yes i think about that too, but for me,i know that my family will be migrating soon so that wil help. But i can imagine ur worries, i have heard that women start attending classes to help them thru the pregnancy, there is a good chance u will meet a lot a women with the same apprehensions. And my best bet would be start networking, with wouldbe mothers and who knows when the time comes when u need to leave your baby for a few hours , u'll have enough friends to bail you out now and then.
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There is no key to happiness.... the door is always open.
Location: Private location
Posted on: 19-04-06 14:04:28
Yeah I guess you are right with the idea of networking...I am fortunate enough to have neighbours who have young children so if I am ever in desperate need, I'm sure my neighbours will offer some help.
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Bijou Bazaar
http://bijoubazaar22.googlepages.com
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 19-04-06 17:53:22
Mishej and PP
Im in the same boat with you guys. No kids yet..married just over 4 years.. and also dont know what i'll do once I have kids. My MIL may return to India (she's bored silly out here) and my parents live 2 provinces away.
I also dont think you can put kids into daycare until after age 2 or 3 .
but u might want to get onto a waiting list for a good daycare within the first year (I have heard there are long waiting lists)..
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~ Morning rain
Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 20-04-06 20:08:17
Quote:
Originally posted by Pink Panther
Ok, well this is something I've thought about for a while now. I've been married 4 years and although my hubby and I are not ready to have kids just yet, I am quite concerned that I have no family here to help when i do. My parents and all the rest of my extended family live in another country and what extended family I do have in Canada, well, they live about 2 hours from me and that is no help either.
First of all, I am a male, although my username might casue some gender confusion.
AND I am a new Dad. My baby boy is 25 days old. So here's my experience so far.My MIL is staying with us for 6 months and following that, my parents might come over (visa pending) for the next 6 months. So we have mustered additional support for at least 1 year. Both of our parents live in India. So that's an option. If your parents and/or In-laws are willing and able to come, distance doesn't matter.
I am not too keen on relatives and extended family. My wife's got few. We prefer to manage things on our own. So it is possible to do things without extended family.
The key is the active participation of both parents in the baby raising. I do go to work regular hours 7 to 6 including driving, come back and make sure that I relieve my MIL and my wife to some extent by taking over feeding, cleaning crap, holding, singing (
) , etc. My wife and I take turns overnight. She wakes up once to feed, etc, etc, and I do next the round.So it can work nice. And it's a great experience. Of course, I have been walking like a zombie on a permanent basis due to lack of proper sleep.
Quote:
Originally posted by Pink Panther
What is one to do? One fantastic thing about Canada is that I can leave work for a whole year to take care of baby when i do have one, but what about after that? And what if i want to go back to work after 6 months (because I might be going crazy at home or we might need the money) Who will i leave the baby with? Well, there is daycare but will I be able to afford daycare?
Depending on how expensive day care is, it might be a better option for one spouse not to work. That might work out cheaper. We haven't thought about day care yet, so yes, we are now thinking and wondering.
The other things are baby expenses like diapers and formula and clothes. We are trying different things. We just bought diapers that would have costs us $35 for $14 on e-bay. We are planning on same for formula as well. We have requested hand me down clothes from friends we know. We realised that people are hesitant to offer hand me downs since they don't know how you would react. So we simply volunteered to take hand me downs. The kid's not gonna know any difference, not yet at least. So, that's how, we try to cut baby expenses.
Hope this helps.
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Dimple2001
My suggestion:
Find if any stay-at-home indian ladies in your neighbourhood and see if they are willing to look after the baby while you are at work for money that may be less than a day-care. I happen to know a women in my neighbourhood who has certificate from community center and allowed to baby-sit upto 2 to 3 kids. This is of course is after once a baby is 7 months old or higher.
Quote:
Originally posted by dimple2001
The key is the active participation of both parents in the baby raising. I do go to work regular hours 7 to 6 including driving, come back and make sure that I relieve my MIL and my wife to some extent by taking over feeding, cleaning crap, holding, singing (
Congratulations on the new arrival
. It was heartening to know that you are participating in taking care of the baby . Growing up one did not see that much, but the perspective seems to be changing now , and it is definately a much needed change.By the way, my hubby thought i am planning to start an "agony aunt" section on cd
, so i'd like to clarify that is not the case.
i hope thats not wat was understood by my first post on this thread. 
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There is no key to happiness.... the door is always open.
