Q. How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A. Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A. A power failure.

Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. Why do men like smart women?
A. Opposites attract.

Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Q. What is common between placemats and men?
A. Both arrive at the table when food arrives.

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Work is forever. Childhood is only once. Spend time with your kids...