http://www.thestar.com/artsentertainment/article/196269

Idol torn apart by the Sanjaya Schism


Mar 27, 2007 04:30 AM
Vinay Menon

Okay, it was funny at first. Really.

But now that Sanjaya Malakar has infiltrated the Top 10 on American Idol (Fox, CTV, 8 tonight), the only smiling face in my house belongs to one Captain Morgan.

Come to think of it, if Sanjaya donned a fake moustache and red pirate's hat, he would be a dead ringer for the rum mascot. Especially during last week's \"performance\" of The Kinks' \"You Really Got Me.\"

American Idol always finds new ways to divide viewers. This season, it's those who admire the vaguely feral Sanjaya (The Fanjayas) versus those who do not (The Humans With Hearing).

The Fanjayas have created websites, launched voting campaigns and made the pilgrimage to all relevant message boards to heap spelling-challenged praise on their grinning messiah: \"Sanjaya is so dreemie!\"

Included in their ranks is 13-year-old Ashley Ferl, who attended last week's show and bawled as Sanjaya burbled . Those were tears of joy. Different from the salty streams that soaked my cheeks when Sanjaya attempted to belt out the chillingly suitable lyric, \"YOU GOT ME SO I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT!\"

He's in the Top 10? So he'll be on tour this summer? Wow. Organizers might consider renting a second bus. You know, so they can transport Sanjaya's giant comb, eyebrow whacker and vats of teeth whitener.

Just how bad is Sanjaya? Put it this way: I would rather watch Scott Savol sing Henry Mancini in drag. I would rather pay to see Chicken Little in the mosh pit with Limp Bizkit. I would rather listen to a buzzard regurgitate its prey as William Hung vogues in the background. (Warning: hackneyed segue just ahead.)

Speaking of food, one Idol viewer is so feverishly distraught by the warbling spectre that is Sanjaya Malakar, she's decided to take drastic action.

\"Until the day that Sanjaya is no longer on American Idol, I will be going on a hunger strike,\" wrote \"J\" on her MySpace page 11 days ago. \"This means I will refuse to eat anything until American Idol voters wise up, and stop voting Sanjaya through each week.\"

Do you know what this means? If Sanjaya continues to defy all laws of the universe and – gulp – wins this thing, we could have our first* Idol-related fatality! (*Does not include the inevitable rash of suicides.)

Okay, so there are The Fanjayas and The Humans With Hearing. But included in this latter group is an offshoot known as The Mischievous Haters, a subversive sect that's determined to sabotage Idol by throwing its support behind the least talented.

The website VoteForTheWorst.com is encouraging its followers to cast proverbial ballots for Sanjaya. Shock jock Howard Stern has begged his listeners to do the same.

Will it work? We'll find out tomorrow night. Or next week. Or ... let's not go there.

Other theories relating to Sanjaya's rise and rise include his popularity with tween girls, his popularity on the East Coast, his popularity with older women, his popularity with the unpopular, and his popularity with Indians, since he's the first Idol finalist with desi blood (50 per cent).

Some commentators, including Stern, have speculated that Sanjaya is also getting thousands of votes from the subcontinent, possibly in blocks from call centres. What? Or to use the Hindi, Kya?

Leaving aside the obvious – time zone differences, exorbitant long-distance charges, tinge of racism – this theory smells suspiciously like a grassy knoll in Bombay.

The important thing, I guess, is that Sanjaya isn't prone to hyperbole.

\"Being able to have Diana Ross mentor you is like having Van Gogh teach you how to paint,\" he said two weeks ago.

Dude, if Vincent Van Gogh was in the same area code as you he would cut off his other ear. Seconds later, Sanjaya bounced around in his Baby Gap wardrobe and hairdo that screamed recent electrocution, butchering his way through Ross's \"Ain't No Mountain High Enough.\"

There sure ain't. Because if there was, I would be climbing up that mountain right now with a backpack full of earplugs. Noted Randy: \"That song was almost unlistenable to me.\"

You know it's bad when Randy uses a word that sounds made up but isn't.

True, Sanjaya is only 17 years old. And, yes, he does seem like a sweet enough kid. So a part of me feels just terrible about today's dispatch. But then another part puts that first part in a headlock and forces it to listen to Sanjaya's rendition of \"Steppin' Out With My Baby.\"

Stop smiling, Captain Morgan. Just pour me another drink.

This is getting serious.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Speech by Thomas Friedman of The New York Times....

"When we were young kids growing up in America, we were told to eat our
vegetables at dinner and not leave them. Mothers said, 'think of the
starving children in India and finish the dinner.' And now I tell my
children: 'Finish your maths homework. Think of the children in India
who would make you starve, if you don't.'"

This Sanjaya guy sucks. His singing is horrible. If he wins it will be an insult to India and Indians.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
You know you are a desi when ........ You spew forth the virtues of India, but don't want to live there...............You've never had a tanning salon membership

No fault of his though. It is democracy at its best.

And as far as him tarnishing us Indians goes, I think we have better things to worry about.

Loser how is Sanjaya Malakar's win going to be an insult to indians? Since when did one person start making an impact on our reputation. Besides he is an ABD (American Born Desi) and even tough he is Indian by ancestory, his style is more western and thats what he is singing,. if he was singing some bollywood number like that, i would think so. But so far i think let him do his bit

Maybe Chockalingam, Thirugnanam and Jaishankar are also manipulating the American Idol results!

http://news.zdnet.com/2100-1009_22-6166722.html

Quote:

---

Originally posted by desiskywalker

Loser how is Sanjaya Malakar's win going to be an insult to indians?

---

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Check for pervert's database here http://www.perverted-justice.com

What is wrong with Charlie and others?

First of all, he is an American. He is brown skinned. So what? The dude is unable to pick right songs. He needs guidance in selecting the songs and wardrobe. I can see that he is pushed to this by his mom. He is 17 and with a bit of guidance and training, he can deliver. Note that he is comfy on the stage watched by millions.

At least appreciate his guts.

DIO