This is a question I would like to ask the forum after this happened to three of my friends in Canada. All of them are in their late 30's to early 40's.
I would like to initiate this discussion with mature Desis and not people in the mid 20's who have not seen the ups and downs of life.
Three of my friends have migrated to Canada with the fond hope of getting a better life for themselves and their family. Atleast in two cases they had wanted to bring their parents to Canada on PR or even an visitor visa to show them around. All of them make a family combined income of atleast CAD 70,000 +.
All the three guys have received calls in the last 3 months from their family in India informing them that their DAD was sick and they wanted them to rush home to be with their ill stricken parent. These guys could not go as they could not avail leave on a short notice, they were fearful of losing their jobs or being replaced by some one else or even one case they did not have enough money as they had bought a new home and were living pay to pay check.
In this two were the eldest son as in Indian tradition the first son does the funeral and subsequent rites to their parents. In all the three cases the sons could NOT go to their home town and just cried over the telephone with their mothers. In two cases the brothers did the last rites and in another case as he was the only son a cousin did it for him.
My mother had a major surgery in Bangalore yesterday(my brother did not inform me as it would make nervous and worried) and today he informed over telephone that everything went well and sent me pictures through mail. Now I feel as the first son I should have been there for her during and post surgery during recuperation.
Is it all worth it for a few Dollars ?. That is we give up the tradition. How will you feel if your children dump you in the old age home at your later years(YES it could happen in India also) and visit you once during Christmas. In todays economy at the point the USD dropping and the CAD at around 36 and with Dollar equivalent salaries available in India is it worth all the effort to IMMIGRATE to a foreign country where there is no job security, whatever you are you are still an outsider and the last you are atleast 36 Hours away from your near and dear ones when they need them.
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Speech by Thomas Friedman of The New York Times....
"When we were young kids growing up in America, we were told to eat our
vegetables at dinner and not leave them. Mothers said, 'think of the
starving children in India and finish the dinner.' And now I tell my
children: 'Finish your maths homework. Think of the children in India
who would make you starve, if you don't.'"
Location: Ottawa (Now in Bangalore)
Posted on: 31-05-07 17:39:36
Quote:
Originally posted by shankaracharya
Is it all worth it for a few Dollars ?. That is we give up the tradition. How will you feel if your children dump you in the old age home at your later years(YES it could happen in India also) and visit you once during Christmas. In todays economy at the point the USD dropping and the CAD at around 36 and with Dollar equivalent salaries available in India is it worth all the effort to IMMIGRATE to a foreign country where there is no job security, whatever you are you are still an outsider and the last you are atleast 36 Hours away from your near and dear ones when they need them.
Shankaracharya,
Before I answer that question, I would like to know your opinion. I satisfy your criterion and I am also in the same predicament. I am the only son, have my mom back home (along with my grandmother). I dont know what my children will do in their lives, but I would definitely like to move away from their lives once I become old.
But as they say, in order to get something, you have to lose something. I dont think, anyone can obtain 70K CAD or USD salaries in India. You may end up sending 5-10K CAD/USD back home which will be sufficient for the well being of your folks. But the emotional touch will be missing. That is something you will lose.
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"Aur Vaise Bhi, Sharafat ki jab kapde utarti hai, sabse zyaada mazaa shareefon ko hi aati hai"....(From The Dirty Picture)
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Please visit
http://www.cmje.org/religious-texts/quran/verses/009-qmt.php for some interesting Information ! (Especially 009.005 )
The mathematical balance of life is always uneven and often times pivots on a very fine point.
The furrows between my brows,
The bags beneath my eyes,
My irresolute mind,
My vision unkind.
My hands that quiver,
My body that shivers,
My heart that shudders,
My legs that quaver.
Nothing seems as thin,
As my poor crumpled skin,
That sticks to my bones,
And shows the veins within.
My back so arched,
My throat so parched,
My movements so slow,
Unlike years ago.
I am old and abandoned,
I don’t have my little boy,
To far away lands he went,
And left me with his toys.
Life’s a spool of time
That you slowly unwind.
...poem Raj 
Did u write it?
However, I agree with Ottawa Nerd, I'd like the original poster to respond first.... WHY is he here?
Thanks,
-B
Quote:
Originally posted by shankaracharya
Is it all worth it for a few Dollars ?. That is we give up the tradition. How will you feel if your children dump you in the old age home at your later years(YES it could happen in India also) and visit you once during Christmas. In todays economy at the point the USD dropping and the CAD at around 36 and with Dollar equivalent salaries available in India is it worth all the effort to IMMIGRATE to a foreign country where there is no job security, whatever you are you are still an outsider and the last you are atleast 36 Hours away from your near and dear ones when they need them.
First of all it is wrong to ASSUME that each of us is here for Dollars! I personally am not and know many people who are not here for that. WE are here for various other things which India does not and presently cannot offer - things like constant supply of water& electrictiy, clean air, good roads and other infrastructure.
For those who are here for Dollars, it is upto them to decide what is more important - emotions or money. And also for them decide will they be able to satisfy their emotions and personal well being in India.
For 16 years I lived in SE Asia and never felt I was far from India - because I could afford (both financially and time wise) to visit my relations both for sad and happy occassions the minute I wanted and faster than people living in India itself. However, ever since I have come to Canada, I keep fearing what will happen if I receive some sad news within the family - both in India or in Singapore or Australia or Thailand, where my siblings live.
It is purely a matter of choice between two (or more) alternatives - but extremely wrong to assume that others are here for money only. (And by the way, most of my nephews and nieces are making more in India than what we are making here as family income! )
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Chandresh
Advice is free – lessons I charge for!!
Location: Canada-Glorious and Free
Posted on: 01-06-07 09:26:53
Like Ottawa_Nerd, I do not want to bog my kids down with me! Last thing I care about is who will press the button in the incenerator. What I care about is that my kids get the best that they possibly can. That and many other little sacrifices we make as a parent for our kids is nothing compared to the benefits we and our kids incur by setting them free.
If this is true, you have to know that your parents also thought the same for you. If you do not, I suggest you talk to your parents to find out.
BV
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 01-06-07 10:36:39
I agree with the OP.
It the same question that is killing me each and every day.
When i immigrated in 2002, I was thinking that i will save money and then either bring my parents to Canada or get the cdn. passport and go somewhere else with a lot of money (UAE) and also take my parents along with me.
But I did not think that Canada will be such a hard place to make money. Now in 2007 (a year after i got my cdn. passport), I am still living from pay cheque to pay cheque and it is impossible for me to even get the money for a air ticket to India let alone send money to India or bring my parents on sponsership / visitor's visa.
At the end, my journey to Canada was not worth it. I am actually in Hell (In Canada).
When i was brought up, My parents were always around me. My parents would not even think of attending a party without me. There was a time when My parents were invited to an Adults only party and my parents took me. Everyone was surprised but no one objected. Now when i think that i have abandoned my parents (not seen them for 4 years from 2002-2006, and donto know when i will see them again), I feel very sad.
I had lied to my parents that I was enjoying my life here, have a good saving potential etc... so that they will atleast feel happy that I am having a good life in Canada. Once a week or so, when ever i call my mum, she used to tell me that i made the biggest mistake of my life by going to Canada , when all my classmates have good jobs in B'lore.
Also when my mother was nearly on the death bed in 2004, I was not able to make it to India since i had no money , having lost all my savings. My brother and relatives scolded me for not visiting her.
I hope that atleast from now , Fortune will smile upon me and i can be united permanently with my parents.
I came to Canada to earn money and not b'cos of the facilities, Infrastructure that it might offer. I have failed in my attempt.
There are also parents of immigrants who do not depend upon their sons and daughters money / presence. Unfortunately, My parents do not fall in that catagory.
TK A
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