Posted on: 11-06-08 10:49:11
For the guy who is in love, I feel he should control his feeling.
If it’s true love will always remain in heart. He can care for the person whom he is in love with like a friend but shouldn't expect back from the other side.
Same time he should be with family and wife and try to be honest and analyze if he is really in love or it’s just the attraction with the other girl. May be going for the vacation with the family will help getting some answers.
I know it is very difficult as said but the religion where this person comes from looks like love is bound (Please don't get confuse between love and physical attraction, these are two different things).
Thinks about we love god, our brother, sister, kids and friends. Does it make any difference by adding one more person who is a female in the list by not expecting any physical relationship back?
Love (Agape) is unconditional, and it is not made manifest in our lives by a system of rules or law. Unless by the law of the Spirit of life in Christ. How often do we really walk in love with the people around us? I just became aware of my \"trading\" and how others are trading around me.
Please read these line (these are not mine)
What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some “Love is friendship set on fire” for others “Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it”. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind.
Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love cannot be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it cannot be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe. And as God said “Love all”
Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. It shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship. The term Platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matter of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity. But at times the very existence of love is questioned. Some say it is false and meaningless. It says that it never exist, because there has been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships. The history of our world has witnessed many such events. There has been hatred between brothers, parents and children, sibling rivalry and spouses have failed each other. Friends have betrayed each other; the son has killed his parents for the throne, the count is endless. Even the modern generation is also facing with such dilemmas every day. But “love” is not responsible for that. It is us, the people, who have forgotten the meaning of love and have undertaken such gruesome apathy.
In the past the study of philosophy and religion has done many speculations on the phenomenon of love. But love has always ruled, in music, poetry, paintings, sculptor and literature. Psychology has also done lot of dissection to the essence of love, just like what biology, anthropology and neuroscience has also done to it.
Psychology portrays love as a cognitive phenomenon with a social cause. It is said to have three components in the book of psychology: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Also, in an ancient proverb love is defined as a high form of tolerance. And this view has been accepted and advocated by both philosophers and scholars. Love also includes compatibility. But it is more of journey to the unknown when the concept of compatibility comes into picture. Maybe the person whom we see in front of us, may be least compatible than the person who is miles away. We might talk to each other and portray that we love each other, but practically we do not end up into any relationship. Also in compatibility, the key is to think about the long term successful relationship, not a short journey. We need to understand each other and must always remember that nobody is perfect.
Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each other’s need. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.
Ask him to start looking for a Divorce lawyer.
This thing to hona hi tha once you come to canada.
"Kajal ki kothri mein kitna hi jatan karo, kajal ka daag bhai lagey hi lagey"
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You know you are a desi when ........ You spew forth the virtues of India, but don't want to live there...............You've never had a tanning salon membership
Quote:
Originally posted by desi in ottawa
Here is the situation. I have no suggestion for this.
A good friend of mine in Ottawa wanted to see me ASAP after I came back. He came over and after few minutes of talk he asked me point blank, “Can a married man with a kid fall in love with another woman?” It really startled me. He is married and has a daughter who is same age as my first one. He told me that he has fallen in love with a Canadian born lady of Indian origin who is single. I asked him if it was like a friendship. I was told that it was more towards romantic stuff and he has already sent feelers and has received a positive response her. I had to stop him at that point since I did not want to hear any more details. If I say that he is wrong, he may get upset.
IMO, after marriage we have the commitment to our family and nothing like this should happen. Before marriage it’s a different story.
Any suggestions/inputs welcome.
DIO
DIO Pass this on to your friend.
C h i l d r e n can answer better than most adults when it comes to love.
The question was "What is love" ?
The answers they gave were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy- age 7
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
Somehow, I agree with you loser because its reminding me of the hot news of suicidal in Ottawa few months back. What if he is not able to control his feeling and goes negative? It’s easy to give advice but when it comes to a person it’s very hard to control as we are not god just human. God bless him. may be he didn't meet his true love before marriage and got married to a person forwhom his heart doesn't beat. but at the same time is it good to do that? confused: . somehow I believe in rebirth and the cycle..
I have nothing to say, will pray for him, may god give him strength to decide what is best for everybody. may be after this separation his wife finds a better person than him. sorry guys, just wanted to share my opinion!
Quote:
Originally posted by desi in ottawa
Here is the situation. I have no suggestion for this.
A good friend of mine in Ottawa wanted to see me ASAP after I came back. He came over and after few minutes of talk he asked me point blank, “Can a married man with a kid fall in love with another woman?” It really startled me. He is married and has a daughter who is same age as my first one. He told me that he has fallen in love with a Canadian born lady of Indian origin who is single. I asked him if it was like a friendship. I was told that it was more towards romantic stuff and he has already sent feelers and has received a positive response her. I had to stop him at that point since I did not want to hear any more details. If I say that he is wrong, he may get upset.
IMO, after marriage we have the commitment to our family and nothing like this should happen. Before marriage it’s a different story.
Any suggestions/inputs welcome.
DIO
How old is the daughter? I'm assuming she's fairly young, i.e. under 10. The question you need to ask him is how much does he love his daughter and after bringing her into the world, does he feel in any way responsible to give her a stable life?
You've gotta be the biggest idiot on the planet to not know what a traumatizing experience something like this would be for a kid once she finds out. Especially considering that his wife does not know yet and there's going to be ALL kinds of fights once she finds out that will extend to other family members as well (parents et al.). And then, will this other chic support him through all of this?
Is turning a few lives upside down worth his "romatic feelings"? Tell him to get over it and move to another province if he still has trouble accepting responsibility for his own decisions in life.
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Are you there?
Quote:
Originally posted by BlueLobster
How old is the daughter? I'm assuming she's fairly young, i.e. under 10. The question you need to ask him is how much does he love his daughter and after bringing her into the world, does he feel in any way responsible to give her a stable life?
You've gotta be the biggest idiot on the planet to not know what a traumatizing experience something like this would be for a kid once she finds out. Especially considering that his wife does not know yet and there's going to be ALL kinds of fights once she finds out that will extend to other family members as well (parents et al.). And then, will this other chic support him through all of this?
Is turning a few lives upside down worth his "romatic feelings"? Tell him to get over it and move to another province if he still has trouble accepting responsibility for his own decisions in life.
If the person is not happy with his wife, even if the other woman is out of his life, their present married life will create a different set of problems for their daughter.
HE is better of Divorcing her . It will be better then the desis i meet in the strip bars. Most of them are married with children.
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You know you are a desi when ........ You spew forth the virtues of India, but don't want to live there...............You've never had a tanning salon membership
