Falling in love????


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desi in ottawa   
Member since: May 04
Posts: 1627
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 10-06-08 12:41:12

Here is the situation. I have no suggestion for this.

A good friend of mine in Ottawa wanted to see me ASAP after I came back. He came over and after few minutes of talk he asked me point blank, “Can a married man with a kid fall in love with another woman?” It really startled me. He is married and has a daughter who is same age as my first one. He told me that he has fallen in love with a Canadian born lady of Indian origin who is single. I asked him if it was like a friendship. I was told that it was more towards romantic stuff and he has already sent feelers and has received a positive response her. I had to stop him at that point since I did not want to hear any more details. If I say that he is wrong, he may get upset.

IMO, after marriage we have the commitment to our family and nothing like this should happen. Before marriage it’s a different story.
Any suggestions/inputs welcome.

DIO



quest   
Member since: Oct 06
Posts: 369
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 10-06-08 13:21:55

yes..it is called cheating



puttoo   
Member since: Jan 05
Posts: 1096
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 10-06-08 13:40:23

DIO is it the "thanhaayi"guy ....... you should have seen it coming



Pink Panther   
Member since: Feb 06
Posts: 533
Location: Private location

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 10-06-08 14:37:52

Of course it's possible...the real question is what is he going to do about it?


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Bijou Bazaar
http://bijoubazaar22.googlepages.com


dimple2001   
Member since: Apr 04
Posts: 2873
Location: Western Hemisphere

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 10-06-08 16:10:41

DIO,

Your friend trusts you enough to confide. You need to express your opinion regardless of how he would take it. Maybe that would help him "wake up" and realize the bigger consequences.

Couple of things you could ask him to think about without saying he is wrong...

What does he think would happen if and when his wife finds out?
What does he think on how that would affect his daughter?


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Dimple2001


morning_rain   
Member since: Feb 05
Posts: 1920
Location: British Columbia

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 10-06-08 22:00:16

Is his wife and family here with him or are they back home?
It could be loneliness.

If his wife is here and he's seeking intimacy elsewhere, can you suggest they go for marriage counselling?

I agree with the others advice though - be his friend, be honest.
good luck.


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~ Morning rain



desi in ottawa   
Member since: May 04
Posts: 1627
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 11-06-08 06:34:49

His family is in desh. Loneliness? May be, I dont know. He never expressed anything abt it. I had sensed in the past some strain in the relationship (hope I am wrong). He used to complain abt wify (she is a cool lady, I mean not hot headed).
I have requested him to attend a lecture given by a swamiji today evening and I will talk to him again. All I could tell him was to put family first. That's the priority. What happens in future no one knows. Right now he has to put the family first.

DIO





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