Posted on: 14-04-13 11:06:48
Not an easy topic to handle because there are no clear right or wrong answers, given that everyone's situation is different.
Is it bad enough where the boredom is affecting their health? Do they have a good long term support structure in India (siblings/relatives who can take care of them)? Have you thought what happens 5-10 years down the road when their health declines and they can't come here because
a. Travel is very difficult or impossible
b. They can't get insurance and health costs here would be impossible to bear for you in case of any emergencies that arise.
You hope stuff like this never occurs, but have to plan for it. So if they can't come here, will you be able to move back to India? If not, who would support them?
If you feel that you've got all those scenarios covered, then it makes the decision to give up the PR and send them back easier.
If not, then it is better to explain the above to them and put up with a few years of boredom with a long term view of maintaining PR and getting citizenship. Like someone suggested, try to explore why they are bored and if there are things you can do to make their life here more interesting. Besides family, they also need a good social circle of their own, try and help them build that. There are also community gatherings/activities (seniors groups, day events at places like India Rainbow community services etc.) that can really help keep them occupied and enjoy their time here. Also, if they're in relatively good health, teach them how to use public transport here - that sense of mobility and independence makes a huge difference. Encourage them to do some volunteering (or paid work if available) if they are in good health. Ultimately, the less they feel they're a burden on you here AND that they have something of their own outside kids and grandkids to look forward to, the happier they will be. And once they get their citizenship, the whole thing becomes a lot easier to manage and the few years of boredom will seem totally worth it.
Good luck!
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Thanks for the detailed response. Some of the questions that I think about are : lets say they were here and 10 yrs down they r sick, how can we take care of them with our jobs and kids ? We can not stay home....when they really need us. We cant hire someone...so expensive. Thye will be totally deprived of good care. Thoughts ?
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Originally posted by Aashu
Thanks for the detailed response. Some of the questions that I think about are : lets say they were here and 10 yrs down they r sick, how can we take care of them with our jobs and kids ? We can not stay home....when they really need us. We cant hire someone...so expensive. Thye will be totally deprived of good care. Thoughts ?
That depends, you would obviously have to make some compromises and adjustments. Don't you think though that the same situation would be significantly more difficult if they were in India?
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Quote:
Originally posted by Aashu
Thanks for the detailed response. Some of the questions that I think about are : lets say they were here and 10 yrs down they r sick, how can we take care of them with our jobs and kids ? We can not stay home....when they really need us. We cant hire someone...so expensive. Thye will be totally deprived of good care. Thoughts ?
Do they suffer from any illness now ? If no then why you think so negative about their health ? Stay positive . My parents are in mid 60s but I dont think to bring them here on PR . I visit India every year for 3-4 weeks and in future I will bring them here for 2-3 months every year in summer . As they grow older sure their immunity will come down so I take care of it and always ask them to take some ayurvedic medicines to boost their health . Also when I visit India for precauotionary measure I take them to do some regular blood test with me and consult physician as I am well aware of the fact that If they are healthy then only I can stay in canada and earn money , live peaceful life .
So stay positive and take all measures that they can stay healthy and happy . And dont think about any critical illness , will never happen ..
Alternatively you can take PR . Let them stay here for some time If they dont like you can send them back . You are tension free for 5 YEARS , they can come any time and stay . After 5 years if they do not met the requirement to renew their PR , apply for super visa .
I always believed and also told my parents that roles are now changed. They are becoming more like our kids and we are their parents. In other words, you need to treat them equally like how they raised us (Dont have to be bad if at a times they were bad). The process is only going to get reversed. i.e. Right now for most of them when they are in good health but retired, they are more like teenagers. More rebellious, want to do things on their own terms. slowly they will be more like young kids where they obey you, likes you, depend on you and as years pass they completely depends on you because of physical condition (literally like babies). You need to understand their feelings, their physical, emotional and mental limits and treat them accordingly. At a time you have to be strict with them for their own good or when you are not able to meet their demands. So be upfront if they are getting bored. What did they do when they had to move due to their job requirements? Didn't you make the new friends? Also this is not Canada specific issue, parents in India are also suffering.
Remember you are catching up with them. Treat them how you would like to get treated when you are old but at the same time do not expect our children to do the same. They may or they may not.
Bolo Baba bhootnath ki...Jai 
Bhootnath, you summed it up pretty well.
