Jara haat ke question


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Aashu   
Member since: Nov 04
Posts: 1353
Location: Vaughan

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 12-04-13 15:58:05

I have a unique question, mostly prople ask abt getting PR. We got PR for our parents but they do not really like it here for too long. It will be a punishment for them to stay for 2 years to maintian PR at a stretch. And if they come every year for 6months, for 4 years, they will maintain PR but will have to do same every 5 years. + will be expensive. The purpose of filing PR was if they are not well and need to stay with us. Not sure whats the best waynow. Anyone facing similar dilemma ? Thanks.



febpreet   
Member since: Jan 07
Posts: 3252
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 12-04-13 18:39:36

Aashu, I don't have the answer as my parents will be joining me in a few months from now. May be, everything would turn out good.

Having said that. Isn't it those times when you ask yourself why immigrated at the first place? I ask this question every now and then to myself and feel dillusional when I do so.

Anyhow. It's a dilemma that remains.



bhootnath   
Member since: Mar 11
Posts: 969
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 12-04-13 18:59:13

Not like it here....can you find out why? Some of the typical reasons:
1) Everyone out of home from early morning till late evening living them alone in the house. weekends busy doing your routine work no time to listen to them.
2) Culture, Language and mobility (car being the main transport) issues
3) Typical group and familiar environment back in India
4) Cold weather

Why do they want to come here
1) Of course because want to stay with you.
2) A change from routine.

Now why you want to bring them here
1) Mainly to stay together
2) You are here to care for them in case of emergency.

Now what we (parents and us) need to collectively do is to find the solution to first 4 main issues. How..lets debate here.
1) Everyone out of home from early morning till late evening living them alone in the house.
What can be done: Find some activity (big question mark what?) that will not be too taxing but keep them engaged other than watching TV. What I found helpful so far is to spend 30 mins with them talk non specific issues, india politics, Mayawati, MMS ;) etc, bitch about some of the far end relatives. (I know kids, routine and then yourself..where is the time)..

2) Culture, Language and mobility (car being the main transport) issues
What can be done: Try to get into community groups once a week. Try to make some friends. During winter it is bit difficult but during summer it could be possible
3) Typical group and familiar environment back in India
What can be done: Other than vonage I do not see much of an option as folks in India might be busy as well.
4) Cold weather
What can be done: Take them while doing your chores, Walmart, Indian Grocery, shopping mall etc.

They should have willingness to adjust themselves a bit at the same time we need to understand the big culture gap they are going through and with empathy try to help them during initial transition. After a big gap of more than decade it will take time to get them adjusted. So patience from both sides will help.

Lets keep this post live and see what is working for you and what is not.



Aashu   
Member since: Nov 04
Posts: 1353
Location: Vaughan

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 13-04-13 17:12:02

You are right abt the issues and solutions and the fact is they will get adjusted if need be but the question is it really needed ?

And for fear of future we are spoiling their present !



metouk   
Member since: Feb 05
Posts: 220
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 13-04-13 21:56:47

Instead of PR you can opt for Visitor visa . They can come in summer and go back when summer ends . Dont worry about their health , hope they will be alright . Even they fall sick they may get better treatment and cheap medicines in India .
Life is boring here in canada even for us then how your parents will stay here for such a long time ....? Even for myself I dont think to stay in canada after my retirement . Dont force to stay them in this materialistic world . Some time If you cant pay attention to them or your children behave differently , it will hurt them .
If there is no one to take care of them in India you can check following link .

http://www.divyayoga.com/images/Vanprasth_Asaram.pdf

Its good there ,everything is taken care and when ever you visit india can stay there.



Aashu   
Member since: Nov 04
Posts: 1353
Location: Vaughan

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 13-04-13 23:23:56

I was also thinking on same lines...super visa and all. But as I c all crazy for PR, and then we give up PR, seems weird.

Also if they r old / sick, is there an issue with getting visitor visa ?



tamilkuravan   
Member since: Jun 05
Posts: 5775
Location: God's own country

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 14-04-13 06:02:43

The main reason why people take PR's for their parents is for them to stay with them while the children of these parents do full time professional jobs and can enjoy the company of the parents during the evenings/ weekends.
Also PR entitles you for free health care, food bank and welfare amounts (after the 10 year sponsership periods).
Can anyone pay for the health care costs of these parents from out of their pockets? (Canadian healthcare billing costs are a prime and no middle class guy can pay from their pockets.). So it is no use getting them on a long term visa.
Parents esp. over 70 and who donot know proper english will find it a hell here in Canada with the depressing cold and the non-desi favour culture and naturally they will feel like a fish out of water.
I remember a IT friend of ours sponsering their illitrate mother (father was dead). She left in one month as she could not bear the life of Canada and she prefered to stay alone in TN (her DIL was relieved that she left is another story).
So it is a double edged sword.
Panjabi's have well assimilated here in Canada. Others (esp.) the conservative south Indians feel it horrible in Canada.
With Indian economy booming, ofcourse parents will find Canada not that attractive.

Peace


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Contributors: Aashu(4) metouk(2) BlueLobster(2) febpreet(2) bhootnath(2) tamilkuravan(1)



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