The carrot, the egg or the coffee beans - Which are you


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soberflier   
Member since: Aug 04
Posts: 228
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 26-08-04 11:48:42

Dear desis,

I am at present in India, having finished my medicals and submitted all the papers to the CHC New Delhi, awaiting that packet which i have spent some 4 years pursuing.
Due some stroke of good luck i ventured on to this site which gave a great unbiased insight into what Canada is and what we can expect or not expect.
Open arms and mollycuddling i guess is a dream.
It was eye opening to read the hard experiences of the senior desis - no wonder some have been to the brink of coming back or even doing so.
I could grasp the feelings of some who are having to struggle and have not yet got their due.
So for all of you who are there and are working hard I hope that you will allow me to say that Life often tests you to the worst possible before giving what you want - so hang in, for all you know the point when you decide to give up and head back to what you think is "home" may just be the finishing point of the hardships for you and the take off point for some thing good.
Your life can be as good or a bad you want it to be.
Please do not give thought by listening to those of us in India enquiring about how cool life will be in canada and when told about reality - back out giving a ton of seemingly good excuses like something as getting best of both the worlds (in their language) and suddenly have to care for for their loved ones and sudden commitments !!
I believe someone famous (pardon my ignorance in these things) said "a bird in hand is worth two in the bush" and theres someone who said "Whoever saw tomorrow" . Those guys in India who are having these "great brain waves" and enlightment to make "choices" after getting a PR may never get a chance to get into canada say a couple of years later after sorting out thier "commitments" like old parents, growing children, sisters marraige, property, polly the parrot and gowa the cow - The govt of canada may wake up to this and say enough - they have made enough changes so no reason why they shouldnt stop people misusing their system.

You on the other hand are there so you just HAVE to make the best of it - comeon what would your wife or children think of youlife long - a loser ? No i dont think you could stand that. Lead your life straight - youtook a decision and now youshould augment it by working even harder to make it stick. Life is all about accepting challenges and fighting it out - and not about trying to look for the easy way and "practical approaches" - so called practicality is a great way of avoiding hard work and unpleasantness.
We Indians have a fancy (its inbred) about getting things done underhand or always trying to get around the thing in the "easy" way- doodh bhi piyunga aur malai bhi kha loonga. Abhi India mein aish karoonga baad mein boodhape mein aajaoonga - where were all these commitments , parents old and ailing, sisters , childrens values what not while applying ! Anyhow thats their wish leave them be. They wont listen to you and theres no reason you why you should be listening to what they have to say and get depressed at not getting to make such "wise choices".

All of you who are now having a hard time - I was just surfing and came across this - which made sense to me , maybe because i am in such a situation which i needed some positiveness to be shown to me through all the doubt - hope it does the same for you all too - here goes
_______________________________________________________________

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and
how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to
make it
and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It
seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her
to
the
kitchen.
She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots,
in the second she placed eggs and the last, ground coffee beans. She
let

them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she
turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in
a
bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she
ladled
the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. The
daughter did and noted that they were soft.
She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off
the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as
she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked. "What's the point,
mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity -boiling water - but each reacted differently. The carrot
went in
strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the
boiling
water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its
liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its
inside
became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in
the boiling water they had changed the water. Which are you?" she
asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you
respond?
Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do
I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts
with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid
spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some
other
trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same,
but on
the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened
heart? Or
am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the
very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it
releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when
things are at
their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When
the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate
to
another level? How do you handle Adversity? ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG,
OR
A COFFEE BEAN?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know that life is not a book of proses and well meaning words but its things like these which give the support when youfeel that you are losing.
Consider the hardships which you are going through as the stormy water while transiting from one shore to another.
Some may say - what does he know hes not even faced anythinghere (bakwas baat kar raha hai ayega to pata lag jayega)-
True i have not yet endured what you are or have, but i have had my fair share of bad stuff hurled my way too.

"if you think that you can do it you will - if you allow the slightest doubt that can i do it or will i be able to do it - then even if you originally had the strength to do it - you may not be able to do it"- those are not mine ( i dont have that much of sense in me !!) - Swami Vivekananda.
I hope that i have not been too preachy. i just wanted to be able to bring some little hope and cheer to the people who are still working very very hard.
just hang in there - you will get there. Trust me. Dont lose heart - whats easy to get isnt probably worth getting. whats earned hard is for keeps and cherished.

Theres a saying - when the going gets tough the tough get going. :cheers: Dont you people dare give up. you owe it yourself to rise and win - the stakes are just too high to back out. For God's sake dont let the saying become - when the going gets tought the tough get going HOME !

Regards to all

Soberflier

Anyone feeling home sick try out this site http://www.musicindiaonline.com" rel="nofollow">LINK
And listen to the song "Lakshya" - listed in movies Lakshya under "L" - smile - give your self a pat on the back that you are there where you are (foren !! :) )- lets move further on and onwards. Regards to all your families and may God give you strength, courage and stand by you.



Scorpion   
Member since: Aug 04
Posts: 9
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 26-08-04 13:19:41

It does take courage and more importantly, positive attitude to make it a success....thats what ur post also says so!kudhi ko kar buland itna......:cheers:



soberflier   
Member since: Aug 04
Posts: 228
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 26-08-04 14:09:24

Yes...Scorpion, thats what i am trying to say.
Thanks:)

soberflier



Ottawa_Nerd   
Member since: Jan 04
Posts: 1754
Location: Ottawa (Now in Bangalore)

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 26-08-04 18:07:40

SF...

Ration ki baat kar, Bhashan dena hai toh election mein jaker khada ho jaa !.... (Deewana Mastana - JOhnny Walker)

This story is good for a magazine article .. But in real life its somewhat different. Desi's (read common simple folks) do not have time for "Bhashan".. All they worry abt is "Ration" .. What you see here on CD is basically their trials and tribulations abt getting "Ration" (or how they have not got what they expected).

I guess you have also see how a Desi family had to survive on bread and water before leaving Canada (they were in a very nice business in Bombay prior to coming here)

However not every scenario is bleak. If you are a single student, then the above "Bhashan" is very true. YOu can work around through the system and after you get your Canadian passport...life will be a lil bit different for you !


-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Aur Vaise Bhi, Sharafat ki jab kapde utarti hai, sabse zyaada mazaa shareefon ko hi aati hai"....(From The Dirty Picture)

Warning !! SCAM ALERT !!
http://www.canadiandesi.ca/read.php?TID=4169 & http://www.canadiandesi.ca/read.php?TID=1379
This is a Useful Health related Tip
http://www.canadiandesi.ca/read.php?TID=3865
Please visit
http://www.cmje.org/religious-texts/quran/verses/009-qmt.php for some interesting Information ! (Especially 009.005 )


soberflier   
Member since: Aug 04
Posts: 228
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 26-08-04 22:11:10

Some may say - what does he know hes not even faced anything here (bakwas baat kar raha hai ayega to pata lag jayega)-
________________________________________________________
Thats what i had said some people would say about this

Dear ON :)

Hello there !! U were the first person to reply to a query of mine when i first logged on to CD. Thank you. I have been trying to reach you - is there some way i can send you an email please.
About this post I had said earlier itself what some may feel. Where do magazine articles come from ? ;) Trust me its all real life stuff :p
Even so I know what you mean - and thats why i said what i said above - i havent been through all that - my intention is neither to lecture or bhashan (honestly) i was just hoping to lift some spirits, when so much doses of truth were being dumped. No pun intended.
Kadwa saach bolo to acha lagta hai - par kisi ko khush karna chaho to practical banne ko bolte hein !!
its everyones own life and s/hes got a right to be sorry, sad or cheerful as they wish. Life can seem awfully gloomy after making such big move from a well settled career and home in India to a new place and starting all over again with the additional responsibility of a family on their shoulders and if after that someone looks around for gloom or doesnt get some positive response, ends up being gloomy. Everyone gets a little down when life seems all uphill and tends to throw the towel down so what I just tried while everyones was giving out the part about hardships was to say "comeon friend you had the guts to get here, you can do it"
Even if there was a single person who read that and smiled, thats enough for me :) .

Election mein khada ho kar kya karoonga sir- itna paisa hot toh arram se rehta - phir musibat kyo mol leta ;) though i wish that i had some more :(

No i am not alone, i have got a family - and its 100 % true what you say about bread and water.

Dear ON i am not denying hardships and neither am i trying to say that "hey people u r fools, and i know that theres gold at the end of the rainbow "

Nothing is intended against anyone, purely Personal only stuff. Who knows when i land there i am be thinking of moving back depressed and youmay be the one writingto me to not ? :D

regards

SF





reachash   
Member since: Dec 03
Posts: 397
Location: Mississauga

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 26-08-04 23:28:11

Hey SF,

good post man. I like your thoughts. I always believed in what you posted. With due respect to those CDs who are finding it difficult here, but it's not easy for most of us. Though it is tough but not immpossible. It's a matter of time.

For that matter, I would say, even if someone was to relocate from one city to another within India, where you don't have any friends or relatives, it will be equally tough for that person to settle down. So why so much of HUE & CRY abt Canada. I mean you are relocating to a difft country, almost on the other end of the world, with difft people, culture, lifestyle etc. Give some time to this place and yourself, don't panic, don't get discouraged by reading or hearing only the bad experiences.

All the best to you and rest of fellow members.


-----------------------------------------------------------------
Let's help each other to grow & prosper in Canada


Ottawa_Nerd   
Member since: Jan 04
Posts: 1754
Location: Ottawa (Now in Bangalore)

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 27-08-04 00:21:03

Soberfiler...For your sake, I really hope you have come prepared for a long haul

Reachash, you sound motivating. Hopefully your motivating spirt will help soberflier. BUt in this vein you forget to answer a point. A desi, who earns Rs. 200,000 per /month and comes here with high hopes only to find out that his qualifications are all useless and then the usual cycle starts ? What do you say to those ppl ? Do you think they will like your "Bhashan" or do you think would rather you give them "Ration", which I am sure you will not be able to provide. So why give them false hope ? Let them be bombared with the "Hue and Cry" so that they can make a real nice informed decision.

Maybe you should read this post by Mr Pramod Chopra !
http://www.canadiandesi.ca/read.php?TID=3100

Inspirational stuff is okay, but harsh realities are not understood unless personally faced (a point highlighted by SF). You are relocating to a different country, BUT WITH A SENSE OF HOPE that your lifestyle in Canada will be different from that in India. You surely are not immigrating here to work on $8/hr wages and live in virtual dumps ? So ppl who have been faced with "Bhashan" (first by Immigration Canada and then by ever optimist Desis on CD), would wounder.."Hey, where is my Ration ?" ...

I have, however, given you an exception. Students, at a young age who come here, have a better chance of surviving the hardships of staying in Canada as an immigrant !

SF.. you can directly send me an e-mail by clicking on the mail tab of any message that I post !


-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Aur Vaise Bhi, Sharafat ki jab kapde utarti hai, sabse zyaada mazaa shareefon ko hi aati hai"....(From The Dirty Picture)

Warning !! SCAM ALERT !!
http://www.canadiandesi.ca/read.php?TID=4169 & http://www.canadiandesi.ca/read.php?TID=1379
This is a Useful Health related Tip
http://www.canadiandesi.ca/read.php?TID=3865
Please visit
http://www.cmje.org/religious-texts/quran/verses/009-qmt.php for some interesting Information ! (Especially 009.005 )


Contributors: soberflier(9) Ottawa_Nerd(6) Kap(3) reachash(2) ansh(1) jake3d(1) Scorpion(1) nivi(1)



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