Posted on: 13-10-05 03:29:06
Quote:
Orginally posted by Hope
Do you mean to say that people who are in the Military or Merchant navy, who, without choice , have to be away from the family should not get married?
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Why do people get married if they live separate even for 6 months. How can people leave their family and go abrroad to work just for money. Especially when I recently turned down a well paying job in calif since I would have to go there by myself initially
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Whether people in the navy/military should marry or have kids seems to be a highly debatable and sensitive subject. I've seen some kids whose dad I've never seen as he was always away on ship on duty. They saw him themselves for a day or two every 6 mths or longer. So these kids were pretty much growing up w/o a father figure. No "daddy's girl" or "father/son" moments for these children. It will definitely have a huge impact on their adult lives. Not necessarily an adverse effect, but it will be a huge thing for them to know for the rest of their lives that their father wasn't there. Even though he was out there earning to put food on their table, but he was never there to share it. There's something very depressing about that...
So should these guys marry? Well they really need to figure out what exactly they want out of their marriage and what they are willing to put into it before going ahead with it. Afterall, marriage is more than just a financial commitment.
Quote:
Orginally posted by MadammeX
Whether people in the navy/military should marry or have kids seems to be a highly debatable and sensitive subject. I've seen some kids whose dad I've never seen as he was always away on ship on duty. They saw him themselves for a day or two every 6 mths or longer. So these kids were pretty much growing up w/o a father figure. No "daddy's girl" or "father/son" moments for these children. It will definitely have a huge impact on their adult lives. Not necessarily an adverse effect, but it will be a huge thing for them to know for the rest of their lives that their father wasn't there. Even though he was out there earning to put food on their table, but he was never there to share it. There's something very depressing about that...
Agreed, one still does not know/guarantee that the child will be any more/less successful(financially, familiwise or emotionally) than any other(who had a resident father-figure), later on in life. The resident father maybe a control freak or maybe hates his spouse...what lesson does that give to the child?
The child may decide never to repeat the fathers mistakes(if he sees them as such) or may do the same(seeing it as a sacrifice/right) to his kids OR decide never to get married...its still the childs choice( and depends on so many variables). All we can do is operate in a way that suits our *individual* needs/opinions/perception.
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So should these guys marry?
Its upto them and they will do the right thing(by them) as they always have. It may not be 'right' for you or me . Different strokes for different folks.
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