i everyone, i find this site very interesting. i want an advice very badly, actually my cousin , 29 yrs old, female is dating a guy who is already married. well she didn't know it in begining as the guy never told her. they were getting married in a month when she came to know that his boyfriend is already married. he told her that he had dispute with her wife and he is getting separated. now he is separate from his wife and my cousin is cont. dating him. they will get marry the same date it got fixed without telling anyone. she didn't tell her parents about guy being married as she is in so much love with him that she afraid if they came to knew, wedding is not gonna happen. my dilemma is i know this and if i tell her parents, i'll be losing her as a cousin and best friend and i don't feel like not to tell her parents.
the other thing is she is spending her all the time with that guy every day, except for working time. she come home late , around 2-3am everyday. i tried to give her advice not to spend too much time with him and come home late, but she told me to stay out of her business and not to worry about her as she is not a kid. she said she isn't doing anything wrong by spending too much time with him and she know her limits.
as i tried to explain her, she had fight with me. pls anyone advice me what i should do in this situation as she is my cousin and best friend.

She is 29 years old and smart enough to decide for herself

You should mind your own business

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We will find a way or we will make one

wow 14 ppl have viewed it and only one reply

If you tell her parents

a) If she loves the guy enough to marry him without telling her parents, she will still find a way to marry him, regardless of whether the parents say yes or no.
b) She will hate you forever and won't be your best friend.

So I agree with Smiley. She's old enough and you can't do much.

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Are you there?

What others have said. It is not your business. First, she is not your own sister. Second, she is 29, and she can do what she feels is right.

Notwithstanding the above, I agree that in all probability she is not being treated fairly in this relationship and could possibly be headed for disaster.

Does the wife of her boyfriend know about this relationship? You can try and make her realize her mistake. She should know that she cannot get married to the guy until he is legally divorced. Let her know that if they get married without the couple having divorced first, the marriage can be annulled and the guy can be criminally charged.

If contested, divorce can be a long and costly process. If the wife is aware of the affair, which I guess she must be, she will charge the guy with adultery and not only will he lose the case, he will be ruined and left with no money. On top of all this, he will be liable to pay alimony.

Considering the above, it is unlikely that the boyfriend will go thro the divorce and in all likelihood, your cousin will eventually be left stranded.

Try and talk some sense into her. Unfortunately that's about all you can do. Hope you can make her see the futility of the relationship.

And last but not the least, ask her how she can be so dumb as to trust that man who lied to her when he told her that he was not married!

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Diogenes
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The Cynic

DiogenestheCynic you are very right, i tried to put some sense into her brain, but she don't listen, rather she fought with me and told me that i am noone to interfere in her life, she's dumb, she think she is smart enough to make her decision. i know she is dumb if she is still trusting the guy who lied to her, but guy told her that he lied to her coz he love her so much and he was scared he's gonna lose her by telling the truth.

i know she is not my real sister, but she's like sister and best friend to me i don't want that she ruin her life, i tried to explain her but i couldn't and don't know what to do now as she don't listen. guy said he will get the divorce as his wife want the house and he iwll give the house to her. is it possible???

Hey Taurus10

rather she fought with me and told me that i am noone to interfere in her life, she's dumb, she think she is smart enough to make her decision.

-- She is right

i know she is dumb

- Thats just your opinion

if she is still trusting the guy who lied to her, but guy told her that he lied to her coz he love her so much and he was scared he's gonna lose her by telling the truth.

i know she is not my real sister, but she's like sister and best friend to me i don't want that she ruin her life, i tried to explain her but i couldn't and don't know what to do now as she don't listen. guy said he will get the divorce as his wife want the house and he iwll give the house to her.

is it possible???

-- Although I don't care about the result here I still feel , you could just put your suggestion (not Advice , As Advice is when asked for it ) and then let her take care of her life

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We will find a way or we will make one