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Originally posted by sunflower

I find JRF's post very sensible. I am a chennite for 25 yrs (atleast for the next few days). I am leaving a place I feel completely safe and sound and feel rooted to. I am a mother of a 2 yr old girl and often worry about the influence of 'western culture'. But at the end of it, I feel it boils down to how we handle it. I must be open enough to embrace the culture here. I must be sensible enough to teach my daughter positive values in a new environment. I must open my ears and listen to her to learn how she feels. It is a tough job. But then that it why we are here for......

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Have you ever heard"A man is product of circumstances"? All said and done "environment" does affect the children. It is easy to boast about teaching positive values and really it is nice also but the environment in school and neighbourhood has immense impact on young minds. Look at the kids brought up in ghetto environment. I believe that their parents probably never wished their kids to grow up as criminals , some times environment is too pervasive. While I emphatically state that I do not subscribe to the views of TK, I do have my own apprehensions and concerns about the outside influence on kids in Canada. The peer pressure is tremendous and even in the best of schools, culture of drus has spread. For those who demonize TK, I have to say that one should boast about good parenting only after their kids have grown up and settled well in life.

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Originally posted by Nightmare


I have to say that one should boast about good parenting only after their kids have grown up and settled well in life.

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Soon we should consider a seperate, sensible thread to discuss this. As many of us know this one of the highest, not a light thing.

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Originally posted by Nightmare
All said and done "environment" does affect the children. It is easy to boast about teaching positive values and really it is nice also but the environment in school and neighbourhood has immense impact on young minds.

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Influences abound everywhere, a parents role maybe in equipping the child with tools to deal with the same. If one thinks that one can accomplish this better in TN then one should go to TN.

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Originally posted by Nightmare

I have to say that one should boast about good parenting only after their kids have grown up and settled well in life.

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Well, since you HAD to say that ...
What if the kids are in Canada and are totally unhappy with their lives(as many people on CD are)? Does it mean that their parents were lousy in their parenting. It certainly looks like it according to your logic. If results are the prerequisite that one is a good parent, the same applies to judge when one is a bad one right? So yeah guys, if you are unhappy with canada(or life in general) and do not think you are settled here, your parents did a lousy job with your upbringing so go and yell at them.

On the other had, is it possible that the parents play a guiding role and let the kids choose the path? After all the kids may be on their way to get settled, be good parents themselves etc. After all when does parenting end? Can we really say that the kids are 'perfect' now that they are 38 yrs with a million+ in assets? What happens if this 38 yr old is a bad parent/husband himself? Or starts snorting coccaine? Have his parents failed him? What if he turns around in the next 5 yrs and at 42 overcomes his problems? Have his parents been good parents?

When does one start/end playing the judge and the jury?

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Originally posted by paramhams03

For those who condemn and criticize the modern social trends in western socieities, I would suggest it to them to look at the Chinese and the people of Mongoloid origin for example who,by and large refuse to tbe corrupted by what is happening around them.We,Tamils,if not the Indians as a whole,should learn from the Chinese to have some pride in ourselves with a sense of self assurance about our own values.

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Really? The same chinese who are turning to plastic surgery in increasing numbers, to make their features look more 'Western'? China is going through her own changes. Or you probably mean the chinese immigrants in the US/Canada? In that case, its probably true that first gen immigrants hold their cultures closer and probably do not change even though the cultures of their homelands have evolved(for better or worse)

p.s: I hope this does not take away from the noble intention behind your post. Its just that there are too many generalisations about Tamils, Chinese etc...but thats your problem not mine. I happened to have the time(and wine) to indulge my ego too

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Originally posted by Nightmare
I have to say that one should boast about good parenting only after their kids have grown up and settled well in life.

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I do agree with this.

I have read about people talking of sucess stories and thus creating more and more misconception to new immigrants.

Most of the guys in Canada will not give true picture to desi in India. I applied for Immigration on feedback from 3 guys who says they are successful and doing well.

After landing here i came to know their true stories.

1. One Engg is working as Electrician and working 12 hrs per day.
He goest for work from 9 Am to 9 PM
His wife works in a Restaurant in Downtown Toronto. She wakes up at 4 AM to start at 5 AM and reach downtown at 6 AM. She will be back at home by 5 PM and totally exhausted by the time her hubby comes back.

They do not have time to spend with her only girl child now 6 yrs. When i talked to their daughter first time i was impressed at her Western style english accent. Later on during my 3 months stay i realized that the girl is going of the way and not giving due respect to parents and others.

2. The other Engineer is working as fork Lifter and his time is Night shift.
His wife works as labor job as box assembler. They do not have time for their kid and so left the Kid back in India with their grand parents.

3.
One lucky IT Guy, working in IT company. Though was not saving enough decided her wife to work. Wife working as Nurse. I was impressed when in India. Whne i came here i came to know that his wife works as a personal nurse for old age guys where in she has to help them take shower, clean body and other support.


There are also other guys in this forum who talk of sucess stories. Does sucess stories means getting a job? Many IT guys also feel that they got a IT job and they are sucessful but is that a good job working at a lowest levet like web designer, programing etc rather than doing better jobs?

Many of these guys will be working at the same position till they retire.
For me this is not a sucess story neither this should bring misconception to people back in India. Only guys who have jumped to higher superior position i would regard as sucessful. What percentage of new (last 5 yrs) immigrants must have acheived that, any Idea?

I have good IT experience but even before i could be interviewed the agents said the client's are asking if i have driving experience, License, Canadian Experience (though i have worked in US for one year) during the 1st month in this great country.

Though during this one month i got selected for 3 offers from US. One company went to the extent that their lawyer talked to me and asked my status in Canada and was trying to get visa so that i can get into US but that did not materialize.




Ultimately i realized this is not the country i am looking for
(had misconception that Canada would atleast be as good as US).
The situation would only worsen as the economy has reached saturation and is not expected to grow and with more immigrants getting In.

So back to apna desh.

So my point on this thread is that i have seen enough during my 3 months stay in Toronto and i feel that most of the jobs people are doing is like Monkey's Job.


Is this Monkey's Job a sucess story? This is the biggest misconception



Thanks

~Dips

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Originally posted by Dips


Ultimately i realized this is not the country i am looking for
(had misconception that Canada would atleast be as good as US).


Is this Monkey's Job a sucess story? This is the biggest misconception



Thanks

~Dips

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Agreed that situation here is not as rosy as people would imagine sitting in India. Also, most of over views about Canada might be based upon what media has to say about US (I am talking about pre-CD days). So we believe that what applies to US also applies to Canada.

However, have you taken time to compare US and Canada on same basis? How many people migrate to US versus how many migrate to Canada? What is the success ratio of people migrating to US? Are all Indians migrating to US "successful"? Do they get high paying job right next day of their arrival? What is your definition of success?

And money is not always the deciding factor. Are Indians in US treated at par with Caucasians in public life? How many Indians can dream of being a senator or a governor or any such position of public authority? I do not think POIs have any strong voice in US politics.

What US portrays Indians are either doctors or motel and convenience store owners. When will Indians living in US able to erase that typical stereotype image of Indians?

Meghal

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Originally posted by meghal
What US portrays Indians are either doctors or motel and convenience store owners. When will Indians living in US able to erase that typical stereotype image of Indians?
Meghal

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Wrong statement :

In USA, people get jobs which is equal to what their qualification is.
You canot make a 12 th grade guy into a engineer in the USA. Maybe he will be a hotel cleaner / working in a motel or a business man.
A B.E. in USA will not be cleaning dishes in a restaurant nor will he be working in a factory doing labour jobs.
USA and Canada are different. Canada offers point based immigration where as in USA (Apart from IT-H1B) provide people visa to study (in most cases) or higly qualified people work visa to work in professions of their study (i am talking of people other than IT. USA has been and still is able to provide good jobs related to a person's studies.
TK