We had an identical situation before 5 days from now. On 1st Feb, my wife was supposed to resume to work. We have 11 months old and we decided that, jobs would come back, MONEY would come back but this TIME would not be back. My wife has been a banker since last 7 years and she was working with a bank here since we landed (4 years). She was fetching almost $43 K in gross/year, but still we though of taking that decision. Its only that this year is a bit heavy one on all of us because of the recession.

AS many of us have mentioned here that if loss of income is not making any great difference in the monthly BUDGET, just forget the job for a while and simply focus on giving the BEST (mother's role is un-comparable) to the baby.

As I awlays write, this may not be true for all, as I am a self employed person and my income is variable, I could think this way and has given a shot.

Time will tell us, whether we took a right decision or not.

Regards,

VJ.

I don't think there is a right or a wrong.

If you send kids to daycare, I am sure they will be fine just like all the other children.

If you don't send them to daycare, I am sure that will also be great just like all the other children as well.

Kids will adapt. They are awesome at that.

Parents need to adapt suitably. That is actually tougher. Because we are older, have goals, ambitions, aspirations and our mindset is a lot more settled and firmed up that we need to go through this introspection to figure out what to give, what to give-up, what not to give up and what's worth and what's not..etc etc.

For some its a no brainer. My wife for example made a decision to take care of the child and she is loving it (there are tough days too).

For some others keeping their career going is a no brainer either if you were career minded or if you actually had to financially support your family along with your husband's income.

If you are willing to forego the monetary benefit of working and
If you are not that keen on pursuing a "career" as such and
If you are very much interested in bringing up the child yourself then

you are probably better off not going back to work. Trust me, it is an amazing experience watching them grow...there are certain things in life that are impossible to be quantified in financial terms.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
If you have a gun, you can rob a bank.
If you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
- Bill Maher

Hi anjuman.....I can totally understand how your heart is jumping up & down....I guess all of us mothers esp the ones with no family here go through this. You are right, at the end it will be your decision, and hopefully this discussion will help you take that decision easily.

Just wanted to share my experience...I left my job when I had my first child & decided to go back only when he was 2 yrs old, as then I was a bit comfortable since he was eating solid food & could tell me a bit about what he did while I was gone...it was a tough decision for me not just emotionally but financially...but I decided to stay home as I also believe this time will never come back. Even after he turned 2, I went back to a part time job(starting from scratch again) in evening, so he was left with baby sitter only for 2 hrs and picked up by my husband. But now when i look back...I think I made a mistake ...don't regret staying home till he turned 2, but then afetr that I should have sent him to a montessory & worked full time...helps kids make better foundation , not that I am seeing any problem, i have always kept him busy with activities for kids in community centres & also teaching him at home but still, when it comes to decipline, kids behave better with teachers rather than mothers.

Now just recently I had my 2nd baby & I am in the same dilemma....should i go back or not....I calculated my bring home income after paying for both kids, gas to travel to work, food...not to mention getting up early & out of home by 7 am & back by 6pm.....I probably won't even be left with $300-400/mth, and I am not sure how much the taxes will go up at the end of the year. Is it really worth!!!!.....if my employer agrees to give me time off for another 1 year w/o pay...i will do it in an instant...I still say , I will never get time back with my kid....but again its a good job now & i don't want to start from scratch again after 1 year.

So haviing said all that...i guess this time I will go back full time as now working is also as much important to me for my self development...it makes me feel good about myself...kids grow up fast ...1 year till be tough but then everything will fall in place.

Its not easy giving up everything & sit at home...if the jobs means a lot to you, go back but if you are ok to start from scratch again...stay home keep yourself busy with your kid taking part in different activities in your community. This will not only solve your purpose of bonding well with your child & being there for the kid yourself but will help the child adjust socially as well. i am saying this considering that giving up that income is something you can live with , because if financially you need that $$, you have no option but to go back.

Good Luck

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Pooja

very well said Blorean

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Pooja

Thanks everybody. Well i went my office today & gave them option for 1 yr unpaid leave. Me & my hubby both of us decide it's better to give this time to our baby & i find it's really hard for me to manage work & as well as home too. & only give baby few hours in a day. We don't feel it's worth it.

Well i left it with them. or maybe after a yr economy situation will be better then now & i can try some other place.

Pl let us know the result.