Please feel free to add jokes to this thread. It is not meant to be for my jokes only.

READING THE HOLY SCRIPTURES

The Pope dies and naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee and after a whirlwind tours told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures and spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script.



All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The angels come running to him, only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, crying to himself, and muttering, "An 'R'! They left out the 'R'."



God takes him aside, offering comfort and asks him what the problem is. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter 'R' ... the word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"

99% Indians works on the principle of Rocket!!!!

It doesn't mean ....We Aim for the sky.......It means We don't start work unless our tail is on Fire......

-----------------------------------------------------------------
એક જ ટીપામાં હો જાણે સાત સમંદર,
એવા ઝંઝાવાત હજુ હૈયાની અંદર

Infosys employee freed from hostage in Sydney.

Updated his resume: "Negotiated with terrorists while on-site"

-----------------------------------------------------------------
એક જ ટીપામાં હો જાણે સાત સમંદર,
એવા ઝંઝાવાત હજુ હૈયાની અંદર

Torpedo

During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something - at least they would die laughing.
The navigator went down and said to the crew, "What would you think if I could split the whole ship in two by hitting my dick against the table?"
The crew burst laughing. So the navigator pulled his dick out and whammed it on the table. Just when the dick hit the table, a huge explosion tore the ship apart. The only survivors were the captain and the navigator.
As they floated around in a lifeboat captain asked the navigator, "Well, the crew really laughed. What did you do?"
The navigator told him how he hit his dick against the table.
The captain replied, "Well, in the future you better be careful with that dick of yours. The torpedo missed!"