Canadian born confused desi


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naradavijaya   
Member since: Oct 08
Posts: 15
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 22-01-09 16:26:42

Hello friends, I guess everyone here is familiar with the acronym CBCD (and ABCD) etc. I know its all in good humour. But seriously, what are you as parents doing to avoid your children becoming CBCDs? How are you preserving your culture and tradition and how are you imparting it to your children? How receptive are your children to these measures? Or do they just roll their eyes and go "whatever"?

I am hoping to get some good tips from the members here.

Thanks in advance.



Aashu   
Member since: Nov 04
Posts: 1353
Location: Vaughan

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 22-01-09 16:39:30

..



tamilkuravan   
Member since: Jun 05
Posts: 5775
Location: God's own country

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 22-01-09 17:01:02

It all depends on how you want the child to be brought up.
If for example, you plan to live and die in Canada, then it is better to bring up the child in line with Canadian tradition , in other words as how the Canadians grow up. Examples include eating meat, Giving Anglophone name to the child, Allowing sleepovers, Allowing to eat Cdn Cusine, Allowing the child to drink Alchohol, date, Making the child work part time from Age 16 etc... However you can infuse basic Desi principles at home like teaching them your religion, your cusine, your language but it should be confined to the 4 walls of your home.
There is another catogory of people who have come here for the exchange rate and who want to save and extract the max. benefit from Canada. These kind of people will send their children to India for education / relocate to India during the teen years and then return after 12 th. std to India to max. exploit Canada. These kind of people stick to their rigid Indian / Desi principles right from day one like giving desi names, being vegetarian, not adjusting to Canadian principles etc... These people donot care about the Cdn. society as they will be leaving as soon as the culture of Canada starts getting on to their children.
The third set of people are the ones that fall under the second catogory but who want to live and die in Canada. Those are the people whose children suffer the most.
To give you an example :
Ask a Chinese in Malaysia where he is originally from and he will say that he is from Malaysia.
As an Indian from malaysia where he is originally from and he will say that he is from Ramnad Dist of Tamil Nadu.
Chinese have adapted to the culture of Malaysia while the Tamil is still dreaming of Tamil Nadu. That is why the Chinese have been able to adapt to Malaysia while the tamil has not been able to and is in the lower rungs of the Malaysian society.

The choice is in your hand.

Peace by TK


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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.


guptamik   
Member since: Mar 05
Posts: 277
Location: Toronto

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 22-01-09 17:41:43

Narada,

If you don't mind I'd like to understand what you think is a CBCD?

-B



ranirani   
Member since: Jan 09
Posts: 71
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 22-01-09 19:19:02

There is also an underlying assumption that children in India are not affected by cultural influences and are not confused......every generation rebels and develops its own rules or values....in Canada or anywhere else.

So going on a date is 'western' hence confusing hence protection is necessary to safeguard 'traditional' Indian values hence we should stop folks here from dating. That way the kids here feel the pressure of domestic values and peer values and learn to lead two lives....

In the real world of urban cosmopolitan India, does dating not exist?

Just an example, in my view, that 'desi' values may at times be our own idealized romantic notions, not always real.

My 2 cents...



newboyo   
Member since: Nov 05
Posts: 253
Location: TO

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 22-01-09 19:46:35

A thought provoking topic and one that the wife and I discuss often.

IMO -

Not all that is "western" is bad exampe - the dignity of labour, the belief in individual merit etc etc. Similarly not all that is "Indian" is good example: casteism, willingness to corrupt and be corrupted. Each culture has its good thongs and its bad things.

Let us recognise that we have chosen to come here and therefore CANNOT tie our children with rites and rituals of the "mother country". In many cases these rites and rituals are what we remember and imagine were prevalent when we left India.

We are in a unique situation of being able to choose the best from both cultures and shed the worst of both cultures. Basic values like honesty, fairness, decency, hard work, thrift etc etc are universal. With these values, our children can safely navigate whatever the world may throw at them. I think this is what we need teach them, not necessarily the lores, the mythology, the language etc etc.


Newboyo



morning_rain   
Member since: Feb 05
Posts: 1920
Location: British Columbia

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 22-01-09 21:58:36

Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan

It all depends on how you want the child to be brought up.
If for example, you plan to live and die in Canada, then it is better to bring up the child in line with Canadian tradition , in other words as how the Canadians grow up. Examples include eating meat, Giving Anglophone name to the child, Allowing sleepovers, Allowing to eat Cdn Cusine, Allowing the child to drink Alchohol, date, Making the child work part time from Age 16 etc... However you can infuse basic Desi principles at home like teaching them your religion, your cusine, your language but it should be confined to the 4 walls of your home.
There is another catogory of people who have come here for the exchange rate and who want to save and extract the max. benefit from Canada. These kind of people will send their children to India for education / relocate to India during the teen years and then return after 12 th. std to India to max. exploit Canada. These kind of people stick to their rigid Indian / Desi principles right from day one like giving desi names, being vegetarian, not adjusting to Canadian principles etc... These people donot care about the Cdn. society as they will be leaving as soon as the culture of Canada starts getting on to their children.
The third set of people are the ones that fall under the second catogory but who want to live and die in Canada. Those are the people whose children suffer the most.


The choice is in your hand.

Peace by TK



refresh my memory tk..arent you in the second group?




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~ Morning rain





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