Canadian born confused desi
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This is a superficial list. It is designed to make US feel good as parents. Not always inculcate values in children.
While I do not say that these things are not important, it is important to assess your values by your ACTIONS and BEHAVIOUR.
So teaching respect is fine, how are you making sure your children are respectful?
I believe parents can be role models through their ACTIONS and BEHAVIOUR.
Are we good role models? That is the key question. Or do we believe in "Do as I say, not as I do".
Location: carl sagan's universe
Posted on: 26-01-09 20:23:06
chk out the picture of the day.
How the times have changed! I can't remember wine festivals from even 6-7 years ago.
If adults can change/evolve, heck why not children?
My brother in India says that instead of rummy, teen patti, bridge- poker is catching on in certain echelons.
Ok I know many of you will say that wine and poker are for the few in India, but whatever it is even those few are moving with the times.
Location: carl sagan's universe
Posted on: 26-01-09 20:32:47
Quote:
Originally posted by naradavijaya
Thanks everyone for your responses.
I was just wondering if you:
1. make it a point to take your child to a temple
2. make them pray every morning after a bath/shower
3. dress up for Indian festivals and take them to temples
4. and for example, send them to Balvihar perhaps
5. teach them some history of India
6. teach them discipline and morals...something as simple as respecting elders
7. take them to India frequently
8. tell them about your parents and grandparents (if they don't live with you)
9. tell them the importance of family and to uphold family values
To be honest, I am not very concerned about sleepovers and stuff like that...as long as it is good family on the other side. Definitely won't encourage sleepovers where parents smoke for example or are known to fight a lot...etc
I understand that parenting is basically facilitating and nurturing the individuality of your children and not putting your stamp on them. But I believe we have some role in shaping who they will be along the way...it is not entirely "upto them". That just does not work in reality.
1. only on certain big religious days, like Krishna's birth, Guru Nanak's birth (and that also to Gurudwara not temple), Diwali and the like; even though I go every Monday.
2. How about as soon as you get up. why after bath/shower?and before you go to bed and before meals?
3. what kind of dressing up? They dress up every day. Like me.
4. Balvihar- never heard of it- will google.
5. even I don't know much history of India.
6, respect elders and others only if they respect in return.
7. what is frequently? My kid goes to India and moves around in my family's circle and says India is way ahead of Canada, comes back and acts in a more 'traditional' manner 'cos all her friends here are more 'traditional'
8. yeah all the time
9. you bet.
Despite changing times and values , is there a difference culturally b/w the 2 places ~ yes a marked difference , else we wouldn't be discussing this .
Effect of environment and peer cannot be over emphasized for kids will spend most of their growing time amongst their class mates ...... though we may provide them a different atmosphere / values at home , but as kids they would n't be able to differentiate b/w right and wrong (as we consider ) and hence susceptible to growing up unlike our wishes ..... and we shouldn't blame them as we knew that was a pitfall when we migrated .......
I m not saying its impossible to make your child grow the 'Indian ' way , but you should be ready for exasperation ..... basic reason being .... value system is different ... things which were / are considered wrong in India become right here and vice versa .... its a part of the culture and value system .
We can try going more to temples / gurdwaras , living in a pre dominant desi locality .... Brampton for eg .... and above all .... be a role model and patiently explain the validity of right and wrong ..... above all be ready to accept that they may not go your way ............
Else , you can send them for initial schooling to India , make them return in mid / high school here .......... though it could be hiccup to adapt .... but their value system would be in place and they may be in a better position to appreciate the better of both values systems ......having written this I recall almost 20 yrs back meeting Indo American students from boarding schools in India ... at that time I could not place why .... Woodstock / GNFC come to mind now ....
Who said being confused is bad ... its just the start of finding the solution ... 
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Fido.
Hi,
I've been following this thread for a long time. In my views parents need to bring up kids not Indian like or Canadian like but good human like. Values, ethics, morals are in all cultures it just differs which origin we belong to. I and hubby are bringing up kids with a knowledge and respect for all cultures along with knowledge of their own roots. The world is globalized, who knows what partners they'll seek, till the time they grow up as good people and well educated (doesn't strictly means academically), I'll say I'll prefer my kids to have "their head on their Shoulders".
Jona
Location: carl sagan's universe
Posted on: 27-01-09 08:15:07
Quote:
Originally posted by Fendbend
Good points. Adding 1 more..
10. Talking to them in the native language.
Many from my community growing up in India in Mumbai, Pune, Delhi and other places do not speak our native tongue- even those who are 50 +, let alone write it.
However, many in Ulhas Nagar, Gandhidaam, Ajmer and many other places speak it well, but surprisingly many don't write nor read Sindhi.
So you got diff poles in the same community being brought up in India.
So you can bet that many living overseas in Europe and US, Canada, Australia don't speak it.
Even those in HK, Singapore, except for a few words.
Dubai though has a lot of people who still jabber away in it.
Sindhi is kinda dying out in those living in most places overseas.
Most Sindhis in Canada, US, UK etc will talk in English when meeting each other and probably even make fun of their language
Location: carl sagan's universe
Posted on: 27-01-09 08:24:30
Quote:
Originally posted by jonav
Hi,
I've been following this thread for a long time. In my views parents need to bring up kids not Indian like or Canadian like but good human like. Values, ethics, morals are in all cultures it just differs which origin we belong to. I and hubby are bringing up kids with a knowledge and respect for all cultures along with knowledge of their own roots. The world is globalized, who knows what partners they'll seek, till the time they grow up as good people and well educated (doesn't strictly means academically), I'll say I'll prefer my kids to have "their head on their Shoulders".
Jona
Yeah, totally.
I have people in my family who have married outside our community to Spaniards, Venezuelans, English, Chinese, American, Germans, you name it.
And I am talking close cousins who I grew up with.
Their children are also grown up and have intermarried with other communities, some have remarried into the Sindhi community and on and on.
Just so long as they, as you so rightly say, have a head on their shoulders.
