Quote:
Originally posted by lana2005
I have noticed over the years is that some people are happy when they have big houses, Mercedes at the door bu no money to spend on anything else. But if big houses and Mercedes gives them happiness why should not they have it. Who are we to comment on it.
By the same token some people like small houses, Toyotas or Hondas of the world and like to save money or spend on other things like travelling etc. If that lifestyle makes them happy why should someone else comment on it.
It is each one's life, his/her money and they are spending it the way that makes them happy. Why can't others respect that. Why one has to comment negatively on other's.
This toyota/honda guy agree's completely. Each to his own. At the end of it the money is either in realestate(big house) or an rrsp. Its probably being happy with the choices that is more important than the choice itself.
By the same token if one is truly happy and secure with ones choices, will there be a need to criticize someone elses(unless ofcourse its interfering with your choices in any way)?
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Location: God's own country
Posted on: 04-04-06 09:58:41
Originally posted by lana2005
It is each one's life, his/her money and they are spending it the way that makes them happy. Why can't others respect that. Why one has to comment negatively on other's
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TK's Reply :
Lana :
I donot know if i made this known to you and the CD members before, but my view is i donot care about what desi's or gora's do as long as it does not affect some basic principles of life, law and society.
YES. Let the desi's be stingy, haughty etc.. It does not affect me until they try to play the fool with me.
For eg. let me tell you how i was fooled/ tried to be fooled by the desi's.
1. This individual is more richer than me. Yet he always wants me to take him to a buffet while he will never take me to one.
2. He will not buy a matress but wants me to share 1/2 his matress.
3. This guy will not cook but he wants me to cook for him.
4. This individual, though he has a car, wanted me to deliver my suitcase to his house for his use. HE did not want to come to my house to pick up my suitcase as it will be a waste of gas and time for him. I did it anyway for friendship sake.
Do you now see why i am angry with some desi's ?
TK
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 04-04-06 10:43:32
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
For eg. let me tell you how i was fooled/ tried to be fooled by the desi's.
1. This individual is more richer than me. Yet he always wants me to take him to a buffet while he will never take me to one.
2. He will not buy a matress but wants me to share 1/2 his matress.
3. This guy will not cook but he wants me to cook for him.
4. This individual, though he has a car, wanted me to deliver my suitcase to his house for his use. HE did not want to come to my house to pick up my suitcase as it will be a waste of gas and time for him. I did it anyway for friendship sake.
Do you now see why i am angry with some desi's ?
TK
I dont think this is a desi thing.
I think this is a case of one individual taking advantage of another..it could be anyone anywhere. Are you feeling angry at yourself for being taken advantage of?
It might be an 'indian' trait to be hospitable..but not to the point that you mentioned above. I would have said NO right off the bat.
sorry to hear this happened to u.
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~ Morning rain
I am lucky there are only 5 Indian familes in my town so i have to deal only with five types of Idiocrasies.
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You know you are a desi when ........ You spew forth the virtues of India, but don't want to live there...............You've never had a tanning salon membership
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 04-04-06 10:55:11
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
MR,
i am not a Canadian (who is ) Indian , i am a Indian (who is )Canadian. We look through things in a different way.
Madha, Pitha, guru, theivam- Mum, dad, teacher god
For me and my community, parents come first. if you canot respect your parents then there is no use in you or your child. Our community will do anything to take care of our parents.
Remember MR, In India, there is no EI, RRSP, OAS, Welfare, Pension (in private org.) etc.. MY father had to choos between our education or his retirement fund and he choose our education. If we donot send him money, he will be 1/2 way on the street. We donot have any prime real estate property. Just a house in a village.
YEs. Child is important., but not as important as parents. If i take good care of my parents , then my child will see this and take good care of me. I donot need a retirement fund, my child will take care of me.
In india we do things differently.
Many CD's will throw bricks on me, some will support me.
TK
Sidenote : I like stuff told / done by elders and that is why i do it. Tamil culture and blood runs in my body.
I am a canadian who is also Indian..TK ..the opposite of you
However I have also been taught that parents are to be respected.
I am aware that social programs do not exist in the same way in India as they do here (OAP, IA, etc).
My question to you though is this: You put reliance on the next generation to supprt you because you have to support your parents. What if:
a) you lose your job?
b) you cant have children ? (physically)
c) Your child dies before you do?
d) your child refuses to support you becuase they are just making enough to survive?
etc.
Reliance on someone else (im talking in North america here)..is hard isnt it? Is that one reason female children are viewed so negatively in India?..because they are expected to go to their husband's home and support his parents. They cannot support their own? What do you do if you only have a daughter?
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~ Morning rain
TK,
I was Indian Canadian but i think I am becoming Canadian Indian. Till I was 18, my parents were very strict. After that my father gave me a total freedom. My father said you should be able to make decisions about your life. If I made a mistake he would say I credited my Wisdom a/c.
There comes a time when rather than following blindly what you have been told, you have to analyze it. You have to see its relevance to your current situation. You have to see how much of it was myth that is kept alive to benefit few people ( I am talking of religious stuff) This does not mean you should abandon your parents or disrespect them. But you can always give an appropriate priority to it. When you are in North America, helping parents financially is no big deal. Remember $1 = Now Rs 40 almost. I am not disputing the fact that we should help them financially. Even those who have pensions etc. they get meagre pensions based on their old salaries but economic boom is making things difficult even for those who once thought they were secure.
Quote:
Originally posted by morning_rain
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
MR,
i am not a Canadian (who is ) Indian , i am a Indian (who is )Canadian. We look through things in a different way.
Madha, Pitha, guru, theivam- Mum, dad, teacher god
For me and my community, parents come first. if you canot respect your parents then there is no use in you or your child. Our community will do anything to take care of our parents.
Remember MR, In India, there is no EI, RRSP, OAS, Welfare, Pension (in private org.) etc.. MY father had to choos between our education or his retirement fund and he choose our education. If we donot send him money, he will be 1/2 way on the street. We donot have any prime real estate property. Just a house in a village.
YEs. Child is important., but not as important as parents. If i take good care of my parents , then my child will see this and take good care of me. I donot need a retirement fund, my child will take care of me.
In india we do things differently.
Many CD's will throw bricks on me, some will support me.
TK
Sidenote : I like stuff told / done by elders and that is why i do it. Tamil culture and blood runs in my body.
I am a canadian who is also Indian..TK ..the opposite of you
However I have also been taught that parents are to be respected.
I am aware that social programs do not exist in the same way in India as they do here (OAP, IA, etc).
My question to you though is this: You put reliance on the next generation to supprt you because you have to support your parents. What if:
a) you lose your job?
b) you cant have children ? (physically)
c) Your child dies before you do?
d) your child refuses to support you becuase they are just making enough to survive?
etc.
Reliance on someone else (im talking in North america here)..is hard isnt it? Is that one reason female children are viewed so negatively in India?..because they are expected to go to their husband's home and support his parents. They cannot support their own? What do you do if you only have a daughter?
Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 04-04-06 12:56:14
Quote:
Originally posted by lana2005
TK,
I was Indian Canadian but i think I am becoming Canadian Indian. Till I was 18, my parents were very strict. After that my father gave me a total freedom. My father said you should be able to make decisions about your life. If I made a mistake he would say I credited my Wisdom a/c.
There comes a time when rather than following blindly what you have been told, you have to analyze it. You have to see its relevance to your current situation. You have to see how much of it was myth that is kept alive to benefit few people ( I am talking of religious stuff) This does not mean you should abandon your parents or disrespect them. But you can always give an appropriate priority to it. When you are in North America, helping parents financially is no big deal. Remember $1 = Now Rs 40 almost. I am not disputing the fact that we should help them financially. Even those who have pensions etc. they get meagre pensions based on their old salaries but economic boom is making things difficult even for those who once thought they were secure.
Well said again
In my experience, I have found being fiercely independent while respecting and maintaing a great relationship with my parents has been very rewarding.
Fortunately, it is working great for my parents too. One of the quirks I have experienced is few of my relatives (not my parents) consider respecting them as nothing but blindly listening/following their "advice". And that's where I have drawn a line.
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Dimple2001
