Daddy's Phone Call


**Rrriiiiinnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**


**'Hello?'**



**'Hi honey.**
**This is Daddy.**
**Is Mommy near the phone?'**



**'No, Daddy.**
**She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Doug.'**


**After a brief pause,**


**Daddy says,**

**'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Doug.'**



**'Oh yes I do, he comes when you are not home and
** Mommy told me to call him Uncle Doug **

**and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy,

**Right now..'**







Brief Pause.



**'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
**Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs
**And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy
**That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'**






**'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**





**A few minutes later**
**The little girl comes back to the phone.**


**'I did it, Daddy.'**



**'And what happened, honey?' **




**'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on **
** and ran around screaming.**


**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**
**And now she isn't moving at all!'**



**'Oh my God!!! What about the Uncle Doug?'**


**'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**





**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**
**And dived into the swimming pool.**
**But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water**
**Last week to clean the pool.**


**He hit the bottom of the pool with a big splat... and I think he's dead.'**


*****Long Pause*****




*****Longer Pause*****




*****Even Longer Pause*****



**Then Daddy says,**



**'Swimming pool? ...........**



**Is this 486-5731?'*






**No, I think you have the wrong number........*


............................................................................................................................


cheers......

hahahahaha ....
thats a nice one...

enjoyed

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The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are traveling in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Thatcher and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Thatcher is thinking: "These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him"

Madhuri is thinking: "Musharraf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped."

Musharraf is thinking: "Damn! it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped! me."

Vajpayee is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Musharraf again."

one more.............


Indian Hell:

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? "Because maintenance is so bad >that>>the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the cafeteria..."

sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?'

'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'

LOL .... good ones ....

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Fido.