Quote:
Originally posted by KumarM
We know her for more than five years. She’s a wonderful person and I have lot of respect for her. as I remember. My friend openly said that he has kept her very high on the pedestal above his wife. His eyes are wide open and sparkling when he talks about her. I have the feeling that he has fallen in love with her. I am not surprised. The lady is like that, very likable. Anyone knowing her will respect her. Somewhere in the back of mind I was thinking “great catch” but I know that’s not the right thing for him.
I feel he is an idiot and foolish. There are so many wonderful ladies around and they are respected. They are not only likeable but lovable but that doesn't mean, you have to compare every wonderful ladies with your wife or keep them very high on pedestal. remember grass is always greener on the other side of the field. From far, mountains also look wonderful but we know the difficulties of climbing mountains that too after 40's
Forbidden fruits are always tastier but sometimes it can be poisonous. Tell your friend not to be stupid at this age or he will have heart attackdue to stress if he loses both and have to live lonely all his life.
He should never keep legs on two boats or he will fall in water.
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The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
Mahatma Gandhi
When I went bed last night after posting on the CD, I was kind of upset to be in the middle. Thank god I slept over it.
I have always supported my friend to the core, including getting him his current job. Back home we have relatives and close friends who can intervene and sort out (and they do intervene 100%). Here we have to depend on friends who can not only help but also maintain the secrecy. Trust me I have gone through it. Some of the private info I have revealed to my so called friends (now former friends), have been spiced up and spread within the community.
When it comes to advising in situation like this, I am bad in it. May be it’s the mid life crisis for him. He is a good friend and she is a lady for whom I have lot of respect. And I should not forget his wife and kid. I have not told my wife about the whole situation as I can predict her reaction.
KM
Reminds me of the movie 'Arth ' starring Kulbhushan Kharbanda , Smita Patil & Shabana Azmi .. They say it depicts Mahesh Bhatt Parveen Babi relationship ... Nice performances ....... esp the end .. when he gets neither .
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Fido.
Aag to ek taraf hi lagi hai ... y bother?
Your friend has feelings - which needs to be conveyed. It does not look like mutual. So ask ur friend to go on knee n face the reality...
He needs to be clear before his wife finds out ...
Warna itne jute padenge ke -
"rahee na taaqat-e-guftaar, aur agar ho bhee
to kis ummeed pe kahiye ke aarzoo kya hai ?"
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Mumbai Maazi Ladki ...
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 21-10-09 12:26:57
Quote:
Originally posted by KumarM
When I went bed last night after posting on the CD, I was kind of upset to be in the middle. Thank god I slept over it.
I have always supported my friend to the core, including getting him his current job. Back home we have relatives and close friends who can intervene and sort out (and they do intervene 100%). Here we have to depend on friends who can not only help but also maintain the secrecy. Trust me I have gone through it. Some of the private info I have revealed to my so called friends (now former friends), have been spiced up and spread within the community.
When it comes to advising in situation like this, I am bad in it. May be it’s the mid life crisis for him. He is a good friend and she is a lady for whom I have lot of respect. And I should not forget his wife and kid. I have not told my wife about the whole situation as I can predict her reaction.
KM
KM
You were not really 'in the middle'. To be in the middle means you were asked by both your friend and his wife (or the other woman he is interested in) to intervene or help in some way.
Its ok if you arent able to give him advice on this subject, but just being there for him in a non judgemental way is sometimes what someone needs to help themselves sort things out. The guilt and tension must be eating your friend.
It might be a midlife crisis, it might not be. He had an arranged marriage - is he happy? Do he and his wife have a good relationship? There are many factors involved here and not just as simple as black or white.
Its ultimately also not your decision to make. Its his. You can tell hiim how you feel about it and then step back .
Finally - I dont see it as always a bad thing if something like this occurs, if it can lead to greater strenghtening of the marriage. What is he getting from this woman that he isnt from his wife? is it respect? is it someone that cares to listen to him ? etc. If he wants to work on his marriage ultimately, then he needs to look at whats missing.
Im editing this to add: I am a woman and also married. I know that if this were to happen to me (or my hubby), I would be concerned but I would want to evaluate what is going on (or not) in my relationship that my husband is finding connection elsewhere and not with me.
Physical attraction only is no big deal.
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~ Morning rain
Reminds me of an old thread. http://www.canadiandesi.com/read.php?TID=21035&page=1#121993
As others said, "feelings" seems to be from your friend's side only. If he is a new immigrant, he might be misinterpreting something as culture here is very different.
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Give free food http://www.thehungersite.com ||
I spoke to my friend twice in the last two days. Both of us did not touch the issue. Looks like he may be handling it well on his own or he does not want to tell me anymore. Which is fine with me as long as things dont go out of hand.
I want to thank all the CDs for their comments/views. Specially to those who sent their private views via pm. I understand the reason, otherwise the discussions would have gone for ever. All the pm carried the same view. That was very interesting.
I learnt something from the entire situation. Learning is life long after all.
KM
